PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

Cromwell Argus, Volume XLIII, Issue 2285, 19 February 1912, Page 7

PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

j « V QUAINT INSCRIPTIONS. As a lady-canvasser for a large firm, my business takes me to all parts of the country, and a short time ago I found myself in the oldfashioned town of Deyizes, in Wiltshire. Having some little time to spare after my business was finished, I thought I would have a look round the old town, and one of the things I noticed first was a monument in the middle of the Market Place. On going over to it, I saw that it bore the following inscription as a warning to liars : "On Thursday, the 25th of January 1753, Ruth Pierce, of Potterne, in this county, agreed with three other women to buy a sack of wheat n the market, each paying her due portion towards the same. One of these women, in collecting the several quotas of money, discovered a deficiency, and demanded of Ruth Pierce the sum which was wanting to make good the amount. Ruth Pierce protested that she had paid her share, and said : 'She wished she might drop dead if she had not.' She rashly repeated that awful wish, when, to the consternation and terror of the surrounding multitude, she instantly fell down and expired, having the money in her hand." I was rather impressed by this, and made some remark about it to a woman who was Btandlng near. "Yes," she said, "it is a warning to liars ; and that is not the only warning we have got in Devizes. If you'll just come down the street I'll show you another." I stepped down the street with her, and in the old churchyard of St. John's she pointed out a very high tombstone, and told me to read the inscription on it. It was a warning to Sabbath breakers, and was to the effect that one Sunday afternoon, years ago, five young men and girls went out in a boat on a certain piece of water known as Drew's Pond. The boat was somehow upset and all were drowned, and the tombstone was erected as a warning to others to "Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy." I left Devizes in quite a chastened mood, and wondered if any of the inhabitants ever dared to tell lies or break the Sabbath with two such awful examples of swift punishment for esaldoers. THE BITER BIT. It was my first week as a rivet boy in H.M. Dockyard, Chatham, and my work was to assist an elder boy at the fire doing odd Jobs. One day, after we had had our dinner, we were blowing up the camp fire, when one of the riveters said : "You ain't got much wind there, sonny. You'd better send the boy to get some." i My mate scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to me, saying : i "Take the bucket and go over to the store." I As I turned to go down the ladder over the ship's side, I noticed they were all having a good laugh, and I suspected that a joke was afoot at my expense. When I reached the bottom of the ladder I read the note, which ran : i "Send the fool further !" That was quite enough for me, and taking my mate at his word, stroll- j ed all around the docks and basins looking a t tho various ships. It was ' a lovely afternoon, and I had almost ; forgotten where I was working. Just then, however, I heard the clock j strike . half-past four, and as we ceased work at five I had to hurry to get back to my ship. As I clambered over the ship's side I could see my mate had been work- j ing very hard. When he saw me he blurted out : I "'Arid where have you been all tho afternoon ?" I said nothing, but handed hkn his piece of paper back, on which I had written : "Can you expect a fool to go further in the time ?" I am pleased to say he took the joke very well, but was careful not to try any more after that. CHASED BY MONKEYS; In the year 1905, while I was stationed in India, I underwent the following remarkable experience : I had j hired a bike, intendihg to ride about fifteen miles down the road, which is shaded by banyan trees ; when ten miles out, as I was leisurely pedalling along, I espied a big, brown, male monkey, sitting upon a culvert. In a spirit of mischief I jumped off, and picking up a small stone, intending to throw it at him. But the old rascal evidently anticipated my move, for, before one could say Jack Robinson, he was on me like a shot. I i shook him off somehow, and turning i my bike round, I leapt on to the j saddle and attempted to break all j records. About 100 yards away I i ventured to look behind and nearly fell off ; my old friend was coming up by a series of leaps, and what was worse, scores of other monkeys were dropping down from the trees and joining in the chase. The road was swarming with them. By this time a funny sensation was running down my back, I remembered passing a village, a mile up the road, and once there I knew there would be a refuge for me. Four of the monkeys were now up to me and attempting to jump up and bite me, but only one (the old commander) j managed to take out a piece of my trousers and the fleshy part of my j leg, which made me howl and pedal faster. At last the village was reached, and I flung myself off and rushed headlong through the first door I came to and locked it, but not be- . fore receiving another scratch and j bite. I Here another bad five minutes j awaited me. I had broken into a j Brahmin's house, while his lordship was takingfood, thereby breaking bis j sMte, so be said. But five rupees

and a deal of bad Hindustani soon brought my host to understand my fix. He let me stay until my enemies had dispersed, which was not until the next morning. But further trouble awaiied me, for when I, a hatless a nd begrimed soldier, with a bike minus tyres and with broken spokes (the result of the monkeys' rage) arrived in barracks, I was placed in the Guard Room as an absentee. My tale, of course, was pooh-poohed, and my love of mischief cost me a fright, five days "defaulter's," five rupees, a new white suit, the cost of the spokes and tyres. The biter w a s badly bitten and | needless to say, I have avoided monkeys ever since. A LANCASHIRE LAD IN RUSSIA. | We are thirteen days behind in our calandar and the people are thirteen days behind in everything else. The place where I reside is very nice, being in the country. The roads drain at each side into a ditch, sewering being practically in its infancy in Russia, and these ditches a re used as resting places for peasants who have had too much vodki (spirits); you , may generally see two or three within a hundred yards having a rest by , the way. ! The day's work commences at six a.m., and in this the Russians are ! unlike the English, aa they are on the premises by shortly after 5, working till 6 p.m., with an hour and a half for meals. Then comes playi time, but the people are too lazy to play, they only hang about. ! The chief industry of this district is cotton spinning, Russia possessing I the largest cotton mill in the world. The language is very difficult. Last week I told my servant, in my best ! Russian, to fetch me 51b. of flour, and he returned with soap ! I was out for a bit of enjoyment the other night, and I asked a coachman what he would charge for driving me to Bolton and back. He replied "one rouble." Of course there is no such place in Russia, but he wanted to take me. j I was going the other day down one of the principal streets, and, seeing people going into one big place in their droskies I told my man to turn in, as I always follow i the crowd when in search of entertainment. I entered the ball and two attendants relieved me of my coat and goloshes. On reaching the top of a fine staircase they demandjed my invitation card. Of course I had none, and I was hustled out, and my goloshes thrown after me. , The affair was a Grand Duke's ball. J A OALIFORNIAN '"GUSHER." I At 8 o'clock on Monday night, March 14, 1910, the Lake View Gusher announced its arrival with a i rush of gas, followed by a shower of • oil, which was estimated at 18,000 barrels for the first 24 hours. ! On Tuesday night something hap- ' pened at the bottom of the well ; the flow of oil stopped for a few seconds, and its place was taken by a torrent of rocks, sand and gas. | After that nobody ever got very close to it. Oil rained on everything for miles around. Other wells were left unfinished, fires put out in all the boiler plants, and hundreds of men and teams were rushed to the scene to build dams to hold the oil. Fears were entertained that the ! casing would be worn out with the j cutting sand, and the well become a j crater. An hours work brought four ! and five dollars, but men did not seek the job at that price in the drenching rain of oil and suffocating gas. All kinds of hoods were put over it | but the oil ate its way through timber a foot thick, and went on play, ing the biggest, blackest fountain of oil the world ever saw. The largest output was 68,000 barrels in one day. In Bix months 5,000,000 barrels of oil was stored in makeshift reservoirs. The most wonderful thing was, tho drillers received the order to stop, but the order was not promptly obeyed, and the drill, going a few feet further, broke into the gusher sand.