Punch's Triads.

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 193, 22 July 1873, Page 7

Punch's Triads.

There arc three things which every wise man detests—new boots, an argument, and a barrel-organ. All women like fashion, petite soins, and a bit of scandal. There are three tilings which nobody can do without—money, buttons, and the baker. We all like a compliment, our own way, and a bow from a lord. The three most desirable things to possess are a sound digestion, a balance at the banker’s, and tact. All Ministers, Whig, Radical, or Conservative, like a Majority, a Surplus, and “ No House.” The three best letters in the alphabet are I, s n ; the three worst, i o u. Happy the man who can count on having, every day of His life, a mealoy ootato, some loose silver, and a good laugh. Vvoid three things—wet feet, a boro, and a kw-suit. The three per cents., three courses, aid a good three-volume novel, all contribute ti human happiness. There were three htes, three Furies, and three Graces ; and thre are still three Lords of the Treasury, th.ee Vice-Chancellors, and three members forßirmingham. The Greeks had their t iloges, the Romans their triumvirs, an 1 w ; hav> our threepenny pieces. There are three thirds which will always bo —jobs, snobs, and smoley chimneys. Beware of three in the morrlng, three months’ bills, and the three golde. balls. There arc three things which everyiody is ready to give—their advice, their am, and their blessing. Collect infor- [ ination collect anything which in three years

will fetch thvoo times as much as you give for it, and collect yourself. Life would bo tolerable were it not for three things—getting up in the morning, carving, and going to the dentist. Three things happen to everybody sooner or later—to lose their train, their temper, and their umbrella. Tlie tlireo greatest discoveries of the ago are Bezique, Croquet, and the Sewing-machine. If you wish for happiness, do not eat supper, do not publish emendations of Shakespeare, and do not take shares. We are all glad of a holiday, an unexpected legacy, and a barrel of oysters. We all dread wet Sundays, still' people, and a " regular good cleaning."