Peters gives mock awards

Press, 19 December 1988, Page 9

Peters gives mock awards

PA Wellington The Opposition member of Parliament, Mr Winston Peters, has awarded the Minister of Justice, Mr Palmer, a “most incredible gaffe” award for promising R.S.L. investors their money was safe just one month before the company collapsed. In a prepared speech for a Gore Women’s Refuge fund-raising function yesterday but not delivered, Mr Peters said the year would not be complete without a quick glance through the 97 members that made up Parliament. He awarded “dubious merit” prizes to Government members based on events over the last year. Apart from Mr Palmer, other Government members to get awards included the Prime Minis-

ter, Mr Lange, the former Revenue Minister, Mr de Cleene, the Associate Minister of Finance, Mr Nielson, the Maori Affairs Minister, Mr Wetere, and the Minister of State, Mr Hunt.

Mr Lange won two awards: the “if only it was true” award for telling reporters at Manfield: “I’m here to drive a motorcar — not run the country”; and the “did I really say that” award for saying “Where Roger goes I go." “If that’s the case,” said Mr Peters, “the back benches are going to be very overpopulated this year.”

The former Revenue Minister, Mr de Cleene was given “the Siamese twin” award because he: "rather than live without Roger, refuses to live at all," Mr Peters

said. “The ‘carpet burn and shoe-polish poisoning prize’ was a no contest,” Mr Peters said. “To Peter Neilson still in intensive care getting treatment for carpet burns to his stomach. Soon to put out a new book ‘Grovelling Made Easy’.” The “proof of secret wartime experiments in Ruatoria prize” went to Mr Wetere.

“A man who has such perfect control of his Maori Affairs portfolio because he’s the only one who doesn’t understand it.”

The “body in search of an anabolic steroid” award went to the Minister of State, Mr Hunt, crowned the new “Minister of Wine and Cheese,” by Mr Peters. Opposition members

were also allocated awards for their performances during the year.

Sir Robert Muldoon was awarded the “I never had this problem with my finance minister” award, while the Opposition spokeswoman on finance, Miss Ruth Richardson was awarded a “new prize for her best selling book ‘Overcoming Shyness’.” To finish off, Mr Peters decided to include himself in the award round. “The prestigious ‘Peptalk of the year’ prize goes to me ... on account of my speech to the Kiwis on the day of their World Cup league encounter,” he said. “I’d like, at this time, to firmly quash the rumour that Alex Wylie has asked me to speak to the French next year before the tour.”