Random reminder

Press, 29 August 1986, Page 18

Random reminder

THE CHAUVINIST

When he was small he was a really messy eater, appearing to believe in the “fingers were made before forks” adage. Even his fond grandparents winced at his lack of manners, and the sight of what his grubby fingers did to the furniture. His mother hoped that he would grow out of his ways. She was therefore delighted when quite suddenly he became fussy, even fastidious. He had learned about germs in his science lessons at school and was really afraid of them. His hands were carefully washed before and after every meal. The thought of taking a drink from a container which had been used by his brother agitated him. When his small sister took a bite from his apple, he cast it aside with loathing. He would starve rather than eat food touched by anyone other than his mother; and even that concession was only because she had to cook it.

Clean underclothes were demanded every day. He bathed or

showered twice every day. At times his mother felt a little impatient, but decided that anything was better than his former habits. When he announced to his family that he wanted to go flatting, his mother, although secretly relieved, expressed doubts. Who’ll do the cooking? Will you keep the place clean? Can you afford it? What about the price of power for your baths and your washing? He assured her that everything was under control, and seemed quite excited at the prospect of independence. He expected he’d have more peace than at home. She watched him leave with some trepidation. When she heard nothing from him for two days, she assumed all was well. On the third day he was back with a request.

“Could I have some more towels?” She gave him a thoughtful glance. “I gave you three when you left.” His expression was pained. “Yes, I know; but they’re wet,” he said.