Reporter’s diary

Press, 16 August 1985, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Up and away

WHEN Barry Sheard drove his wife, Dawn, to Christchurch Airport yesterday morning he certainly did not expect to be going anywhere. As far as he was concerned, they had been summoned to greet the Frenchman who heads the perfume company for which his wife works. Ahead was just another day at work, with his fortieth birthday looming. Little did he know that his wife had spent the last two months secretly preparing the fortieth birthday surprise of a lifetime: a holiday in Surfers Paradise, Queensland. She had obtained her husband a passport, organised time off from his job, organised their holiday in Australia, and taken their luggage to the airport, all without his suspecting a thing. When they arrived at the airport at 6 a.m. to pick up the nonexistent French perfume magnate, Mr Sheard was paged on the public address system. Friends and relatives appeared from all over the place and wished him a happy birthday. He was stunned when airline staff handed him a velvet folder containing his tickets. Less than half an hour later, work forgotten, the Sheards were winging their way to a warmer shore. ...

Self-portrait

POCKET cameras are getting more compact and simpler to use all the time, but one still has to have them pointing the right way, as a Christchurch man found when he took a roll of 12 films to be developed. He had taken 12 close-up shots of his right ear. Moon! Moon!

“THE GUARDIAN”has told its readers that when they are at Lord’s they should pay special attention to any public announcement concerning “Mr Moon.” The announcement “Mr Moon’ is in the Taverner’s stand,” would mean that the stand was on fire. It comes from the famous cricket ground’s quaint instructions to fire .wardens never to use the word “fire” but to refer to any conflagration as “Mr Moon.” “Tin-noses”

IF, AS THE police believe, cocaine is being used on the ski slopes and at Queenstown, how long will it be before a phenomenon associated with the habit makes an appearance? Cocaine sniffing is a rich man’s business, but is has nasty consequences. One is that prolonged sniffing destroys the membranes inside the

nose, and these have to be replaced with tin. Addicts suffering from this affliction are called “tin-noses,” and it is said that many stars of the American entertainment world come into this category. Somehow, tin noses don’t seem to go with the ski-slope image. Sunday spirit A YOUNG tourist decided to attend the Sunday morning service in Christchurch Cathedral. He shed his pack and left it inside the main doors while he worshipped. At the end of the service his pack was still there, but such valuables as credit cards had vanished. And that was Sunday morning during a church service. Down to earth A RETURNED traveller tells of a swept-up and prosperous-looking sports shop in Sydney. Its name? “Athlete’s Foot.” Confrontation A RECENT Magistrate’s, Court case in Britain highlights the continuing differences between horse riders and car drivers. A driver late for an appointment was held up by a string of four horses. When he finally managed to over-

rake them—by forcing them off the road—he pulled up. He jumped out of his car,

shouted and waved a jacket at the horses, and threw sticks and stones at them. He told his passenger to reverse and ram the horses. He then chased the horses, brandishing a piece of wood, got back into his car, drove towards them sounding his horn and flashing his headlights, and again forced them off the road. One of the horses was injured, as was a 13-year-old rider. The driver was fined $l2O and bound over to keep the peace for six months, after' pleading guilty to a charge of driving without reasonable consideration for other road users. The response to this from the British Horse Society was a sigh. The problem of fast cars and slow horses will not go away. In dotage IS THE generation gap getting smaller all the time? On learning that a colleague was aged 28, a young swinger looked him up and down with new-found respect, and said, “Man, it’s really great to see someone still enjoying life at your age.” —Peter Comer I