Reporter’s diary

Press, 10 February 1983, Page 2

Reporter’s diary

Parrot problem

ENGLISH actor, Richard Mayes, who stars in the Court Theatres latest production, “The Dresser,” found himself, in the national limelight before leaving Britain. He was playing Long John Silver in “Treasure Island" and had trouble managing an important part of the character s role—the parrot. The first bird was aggressively carnivorous. “Jackie,” as he was called, had a beak like pruning shears and started taking snips off Mr Mayes on stage. “Either the parrot goes, or I go.” he said. News of the problem slipped out and Mayes was the subject of national press and television coverage. A replacement for Jackie was found. “Charlie” proved much more amenable. He behaved perfectly for weeks, until the night hfs owners attended a performance. As if sensing them beyond the footlights. Charlie starting showing off. He let

out great peals of laughter, he shouted, he squawked, and he turned somersaults. “He nearly stopped the show,” said Mr Mayes. Charlie was so overwhelmed by the audience’s reaction that he felt obliged to repeat his routine for the remainder of the season, and the production was again national news. “W. C. Fields was right about children and animals,” said Mr Mayes. Rousing anthem AN ADVERTISEMENT broadcast recently on Radio Avon offended servicemen of the United States Support Force, Antarctica, based in Christchurch. It was for a chemist’s sale. A brassy female voice touted the savings on useful products in a poor caricature of an American accent. The accent was not what rankled; it was the strains of the servicemen’s national anthem in the background. An angry officer telephoned the station to

complain. Not only was the advertisement offensive to Americans, he said, it was also interrupting routine and discipline at the base. The troops were jumping to attention several times a day “while some broad told them how to get the dandruff out of their hair.” The station withdrew the advertisement. A spokesman explained that the music was in a stock supplied by an international company specialising in music copyrighted for advertising. “It was within our guidelines for advertising,” he said. Charity sale A COLLECTION of paintings and etchings by Miss E. L. Russell, a former pupil of Colin Lovell-Smith, will be sold at the Christchurch Arts Centre market on Saturday. The collection was given to the Canterbury division of the Arthritis ’’and Rheumatism Foundation of New Zealand. The foundation is or-

ganising the market stall.

Metric wood

OLD HABITS die hard, but one habit that seems immortal is the buying and selling of firewood in “cords.” This habit upsets the Labour Department’s weights and measures office, because it is illegal to sell or advertise goods by weight or measure other than in metric denominations, unless the goods are second-hand. Newspapers get letters from the office pleading that they stop accepting advertisements for firewood in imperial cords. Newspapers would far rather persuade people to change their ways. The experts at the weights and measures office say it is easier to visualise a cubic metre than a cord. A cord is, properly speaking, 128 cubic feet of stacked wood, whereas a cubic metre of firewood is simply measured in a box. one metre by one metre by one metre, into which the

wood is thrown. A cord equals 3.624 cubic metres. Sellers wanting to give buyers a rough idea of how much they are asking by the old measure could give the price per 3.5 cubic metres. Buyers accustomed to cords get a bit less wood by buying three cubic metres, or a’ bit more by buying four. Unisex

CHRISTCHURCH’S two female hospital orderlies will soon be wearing a smart, new, blue uniform. It will be exactly the same as the uniform of their male colleagues, give or take a few curves. Hospital orderlies at Christchurch, Christchurch Women's, Princess Margaret, and Burwood Hospitals are to be given a new uniform of blue trousers, a pale blue shirt, and a dark blue jersey. The shirt and jersey will be embroidered with the world “orderly” so that they are easily recognised by hospital visitors.