Child-free couples ‘do not dislike children’

Press, 19 May 1981, Page 16

Child-free couples ‘do not dislike children’

'- NZPA correspondent: '■;. .. - .. - Brisbane ■ Contrary to popular prejudice, ? couples who decide against having children do not • dislike them, according .to.a New Zealand survey. This was one of the findings from a survey made on TB3’child-free couples in New Zealand by Dr Robyn Rowland, a'social psychology lecturer from Deakin University in, Victoria. ■ - ■ •She did the survey while working as a lecturer at the University of Waikato, and presented her findings to the Australian and New Zealand ; Association for the Advance-: ment of Science congress at Brisbane, ’ '-‘ y„ :■’ '“.

Dr Rowland, aged 29, said that 14 per cent of married couples in New Zealand didnot have children,/but in. Europe the: figure: Was about 25 per cent and was expected to reach 35 per cent within ten years: ‘T think there has been too much prejudice against child-free people, causing them-to be anxious'about their .decision,” she said. "If you take into account the number of cases of child abuse, unhappy parents, and abortion, we should encourage people to consider not . having children as ah alternative lifestyle.” y’, She said that she hoped her study would make people think both about the advantages and disadvantages of both lifestyles' — those with children and those without. . The strength of community pressure ■in New Zealand against child-free couples became apparent after the preliminary results of the survey were published.

Some.’-of those who had taken part said that it was reinforcing to hear of so many others like them, that

it made them feel "good” and "like nice people.” : / They felt relieved to be able to discuss their childfree state, as community attitudes had given them the feeling bF being a minority L group or, as one man put it, / "we’re all deviants together.'’ In the survey, several reasons emerged for not having children. v For women, the more important were the career difficulties that could arise, the long-term commitment required for children, they were uninterested in being a parent, and not having children, allowed for more per- : sonal freedom and greater time and intimacy with a partner. For men, the decision was mainly based on the longterm commitment, and also the greater personal freedom and time with a partner that not: having children would allow.

’ But they all emphasised, especially the men, that the decision to remain without children was made together, and many of the men were angry that people automatically presumed the decision had been taken by the female partner alone. Of those surveyed, the average age of the men was 33 and of the women 30, and on average the couples have been together for eight years. About a third had decided to remain without children before their relationship began, one third decided soon after (1-3 years), and the remaining third after several years. ‘ ' . < - .

In making their decision not to have children, aspects which were unimportant for both partners were a dislike of children, the fear of not liking their child, fear of a deformed child, or a percep-.

tion of parenthood as-being undesirable. ' ■

"It is interesting in the light of .the negative stereotype of the child-free, that dislike of children did not motivate them in their choice,” said Dr Rowland.

In fact, 61 per cent had contact with children once or twice a week, and 30 per cent had contact more than four times a week.

"This is not a picture of people who dislike and avoid children,” she said.

Nor were people worriedabout over-population, but .they did say that they were concerned about the social environment in which children would be raised.

"They mentioned unemployment as a primary fac•tor. and the insecurity of the world in general.” To get a balanced picture, Dr Rowland also questioned, the New Zealand couples on what they saw as the disadvantages of not having children and the advantages of having them. About half the survey saw disadvantages in their choie, the first being the lack of family life, especially the loneliness in old age. They also felt social isolation because they were not a family unit, and realised the positive aspects of childrearing were lost to them. "Finally, they mentioned the ‘social pressure’ and ‘jealousy’ .which they experienced as disadvantages of the life-style,” said Dr Rowland.

A similar-sized group of the survey thought there were positive, things about having children they were giving up. "These positive aspects were seen by the majority to be watching a child develop, loving them and receiving

love in return, and creating and sharing with the child. "When asked if they then had any regrets about their decision, most people (80 per cent men, 73 per cent women) did not.” Of the others, some were still uncertain, but 7 per cent still had regrets.

“It seems a more mature decision, and ultimately a less regretful one, if partners clearly assess the benefits of having children which they will not experience, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of the child-free state,” said Dr Rowland.

. To determine their commitment to their child-free state, Dr Rowland asked the couples about contraception, and found that a high 21 per cent of men and 10 per cent of women had been sterilised with another 7 per cent having immediate plans for sterilisation.