Severely battered wives a special group

Press, 26 June 1978, Page 6

Severely battered wives a special group

Staff reporter Misconceptions abound ibout battered wives, and nany people are confused iv the degrees of marital •iolence. Casual. spone neous loss of temper and •iolence in marriages ppears to be widespread. However, the women who re severely battered or subfeted to extreme mental ruelty b'. husbands who »uld be capable of murder, re the small, critical core * a big social problem. Experts in the field estimate that there may be bout 150 to 200 such cases i Christchurch, and that the leidence of less severe, tough potentially dangerous tirital violence would be uch higher. Women who are subjected i a concentrated campaign 1 'error by men who want I exercise control of them

through violence are in real danger. A big percentage of murders in New Zealand, and most countries, are committed in a domestic context. Few comprehensive New Zealand statistics relating calls to individual domestic disturbances and murders are available yet. However, a 1970-71 Kansas City police department study found that in 85 per cent of domestic murders, the police were called in once before the murder. In 50 per cent of the cases the police were summoned five or more times before the murder occurred. Battered wives in this small, but extreme group remain m the family home for a variety of reasons; fear of retribution, they say, for what the husbands call disobedience, is uppermost.

1 Most are confronted with a f simple choice by the hus- , band: stay and be terrorised, ’ or leave under the threat of ' death. Many people confronted with the reality of extreme! psychological or physical: Tabuse in marriages across! - the social strata mistakenly; 5 seek rational answers for; • abnormal behaviour. - . Why do these men who so t hate their wives that they: : beat them stay with these! - women? is a common re- - sponse. Most such men are f intensely possessive of their 5 wives. Terrorised into sube mission the women, it has • been found, are generally excellent and thrifty house-, s wives. They are anxious to - avoid the slightest inconvenr ience to a husband who f would find this an excuse r for a beating. Contrary to popular opin- . ion that such violence must

have been provoked by! : jealousy of other men, most; severely abused wives are too fearful to be unfaithful.; .Women who finally leave! such husbands are in most danger of their lives because ! they are no longer available' ■for their husbands to use: and control. Tragedies have occurred! when wives have consented: to the common plea of the! husband to “meet, just the. itwo of us, for this one last! time.” If the separated woman has not confided her! battering to friends or fam-i ily the evidence dies with; her. Dr John Church, of the; .University of Canterbury.: believes that any social worker who tries to get the, parties in this critical group together after a separation, is “criminally stupid.” How-! ever, wives have said they! would have been grateful for’

“the help of a social worker . if this enabled them to leave a violent marriage. Dr Church is an educational psychologist who spe- : cialises in remedial work : with children who have : behaviour disorders. He is :: studying the causes of wifebattering. and the action I which battered wives must I Stake to escape from the vio■'lence in which they are i. trapped. Because severe marital !'violence is such an under- •: reported social ill, statistical ■ : evidence is difficult to ac- , cumulate. Husbands are rarely, if ever, available for questioning so that until re:cent years most of the data and theories have concentrated on the women. ! As more women speak up lit is becoming increasingly i evident that although the ’wives vary greatly in character and personality, the

r| actions and reactions of hus-l e I bands often form a dis-1 ;cernable pattern. It is difficult to determine - the influence of a battering < husband’s childhood and upe bringing because that usuals ly relies on the wife’s know- - ledge. But it is becoming ina creasingly evident that patt terns of violence in such - men suffering from severe e personality or behaviour disorders are repeated with 1! succeeding partners, who are -I usually women of quite difllferent types. -! Cases of de facto wives or e; girlfriends giving evidence r in court of violence in sup-j -.’port of a petitioning wife a:are becoming more frequent. - ' Many New Zealand therapists say they find the barriering husband particularly difficult to treat. As in the e; treatment of an alcoholic, .'co-operation is essential, el Dr Church maintains that

even with a very co-oper-, I alive husband successful I treatment would take at least two years. To ensure the wife’s continued safety after returning to the marriage there would have to be a legal requirement to complete treatment. The wife would also have to be treated to help her overcome her fear of the husband. If a woman lives in a constant state of fear of her husband, and is afraid of what he will do to her if she leaves, Dr Church’s advice to her is not to stay in ithe hope that matters will i improve. In these circum- ! stances, he says, genuine dove between husband and I wife is impossible. Facing jup to this, and the absolute (necessity to make a break, |is the first, and most diffi- : cult, of many decisions in 'the woman’s'search for freedom and safety.