Reporter’s Diary

Press, Volume CXVI, Issue 34128, 14 April 1976, Page 3

Reporter’s Diary

Bags of rubbish ONE READER has come to the not unreasonable conclusion that some rubbishmen must be weaker than others. “One day last week I put our blue bag out at 5.30 a.m. before leaving for work,” he writes. “My wife told me on my return that they had refused to take it, on the ground that it was too heavy. My six-year-old daughter promptly picked it up to bring in and split it into two bags for them.” By-law No. 60 specifies the maximum weight which rubbishmen will accept. It is 15kg, or 331 b. “That does not seem very heavy to carry to the gate,” said Mr R. D. Scantlebury of the City Council, “but each bloke throws about 1000 bags up into the truck every day. Those trucks are very high — about 10ft — and when you’re throwing 1000 bags a day they become damned heavy.” Not so fast! AN OLD soldier who went along to a South Canterbury cemetery to see a former comrade laid to rest suddenly found himself in the same situation. He was 88, but still a good 6ft tall, throwing a poppy down on to the coffin, the old chap turned to talk to another mourner and accidentally fell into the grave. He’s now in hospital recovering from a broken collarbone. No increase ’ONE OF the biggest users of the postal service is the Technical Correspondence Institute. It has 213,000 students, most of them full-time, and its bill for postage last year was $lB,OOO. Although it relies on postage to operate effectively, the institute is getting no increase in its grant to cover the doubling of postal charges — in spite of having a former National Minister of Education (Mr A. E. Kinsella) as its head. Cap that NO WONDER more and more young people are using mouth guards when playing vigorous sports — the cost of capping broken

teeth makes precautions essential. A defendant in the Nelson Magistrate's Court was yesterday ordered by Mr K. H. J. Headifen. S.M., to pay restitution for a gold banded crown put on the front tooth of a young man whom the defendant had assaulted. The tooth was broken off close to the gum. Added to his $lOO fine for the assault was the bill for the crown — $124. Buns on wheels EVERYONE who gets “Meals on Wheels” will also get hot cross buns and Easter eggs on Good Friday. They have been given by members of Red Cross and Red Cross Youth. When Red Cross cooked the meals, they used to skip Good Friday, but now that the North Canterbury Hospital Board has taken over the cooking, meals will be provided as usual. This has caused a problem for Red Cross, because many of its regular drivers will be away. They need at least six volunteers. Anyone who can help should, telephone the Red Cross at 30-784 or 30-783. Inside information ? ACCORDING to the London bookmaking firm of Ladbrokes, the odds against our being invaded by little green men from Mars are shortening rapidly. One of the company directors, Mr Ron Pollard, said yesterday that they had cut the price offered against a Martian invasion from 100-1 to 40-1 because of a betting plunge from a California woman called Ruth. She stands to win more than £150,000 ($300,000) if the little men are sighted. She has invested £2600 ($5200) in the last week with Ladbrokes. “With that sort of money, we had to cut the price,” said Mr Pollard. Teaching ‘Ocher* AUSTRALIANS are to be coached how to speak ’•Ocker” for television

commercials — and the coach will be a Kiwi. The country singer Tex Morton is opening up an elocution school for Ockers —

Ocker being the new vogue word for a dinkum Aussie with a good thick accent. The man behind the deal is John Singleton, a leading advertising agent who has appalled millions of Australians by putting Ocker ads on television. Assorted actors, rugby league stars and others are used in the ads to sell products by talking in the original uncouth dinkum Strine — what Morton describes as “reyal orstrylyun.” Singleton has been attacked up hill and down dale for the ads. But he is smiling all the way to the bank, claiming *’ ey sell the products. Morton, veteran of years of country singing and a household name in the country music world, stars in one of Singleton’s awful ads. Morton also had to come to the rescue recently when Singleton put out the ultimate in Ocker ads — its diction was so thick that people couldn’t understand it. Now the ad goes out with the same pictures, but with Morton’s voice dubbed in. Census THE first results of the recent census have been produced only 16 days after the forms were completed. The early figures are for the population of such small districts as Kohukohu in the far north (population up by 10 since the 1971 Census) and Nightcaps in the south (population down by 53). Mount Herbert County is shown to have increased its population from 683 to 878 — a 28.6 per cent increase in the five years. Easter example THOSE who are lobbying for new child adoption laws have seized on Easter as a means of spreading the word. Bill Lumley of Whangamata has sent the following telegram to the Editor: “Jesus, adopted son of Joseph, eventually knew that God was his real father and Mary his virgin mother. This Eas-ter-time will your readers please pray that all adonted children eventually have the legal right to know their real parents.”