Importance Of “Intangibles”

Press, Volume CIX, Issue 31975, 30 April 1969, Page 2

Importance Of “Intangibles”

A child’s emotional needs far outweighed his physical requirements, Dr Eva O’Shields, of the University of Carolina, who is spending a year at Christchurch Teachers’ College, told the Kindergarten Association recently.

Early in her teaching career Dr O’Shields had to visit homes to assess their quality. She found that many, although set up with all conveniences, were actually very poor homes.

“But one I visited had only one room, not much furniture, and no daily paper which I had always considered an essential. That home was warm, the children were happy and secure and not dominated or smothered —it was a very good home because of the feeling that existed,"

she said. “The intangibles are so much more important than most other things. If you look back on your childhood you don't think of material things except in their relationship to emotional factors.” Basic Need Dr O'Shields placed the “basic need for children to be independent of us" in her list of “intangibles." "Parents are the only business that works to put itself out of business.” she said. "We don’t want to cripple them by making them dependent on our judgment" Children needed to know that their parents loved them, that they would keep them safe from harm, and help them face strange situations. The home was a haven where ihey could "let their hair down.” Adults put up barriers between themselves and children learnt this from them. At home they must fee! they could be themselves. “The child needs to feel we accept him—not just when he is doing the things we want him to do, but always," she said. He must be allowed to grow his own way, and not into something bis parents wanted him to be. An Anchor “He needs faith, a sense of morals, an anchor. He needs limits, without which he has no security.” said Dr O'Shields. How could parents cope with the wear and tear of daily living with children? "My mother, who had no •

psychology but that of experience, once told me: "You can do the wrong thing in the right way.’ If the heart is in the right place you will not harm the child even if the action was wrong. He will understand, and you will have another day. Psychologists have found you have to make mistakes over and over again before there is a disastrous situation for the child.

“Remember too, that you have company. There are a lot of other people in the same situation, and there are experts to help you,” she said.