Many Things

Press, Volume XCVII, Issue 28559, 12 April 1958, Page 12

Many Things

itr ß W. J. Scott, principal of the Wellington Teachers’ College, told students the other day that whfen he was treasurer of the Knox College Students’ Club he couldn’t make the books balance and he had to get the help of a theological student. The theological student is now the Minister of Finance, but it looks as if he’s going to find this year’s Budget a little bit harder to balance than the club books.

A MELBOURNE friend of 'The Walrus has written asking for a few biscuits to award to city shopkeepers. He wants one for the fruitologist who sold him a pound of apples, and another for a pietarian.

TN Auckland a barber has been A granted permission to paint the lower part of a newly-erected power pole outside his shop in the traditional colours of fed, white, and blue. Obviously he shaves his customers with an electric razor.

“TTROKEN WINGS In Orari Stable,” said a headline on the racing page this week. Horse feathers?

’THE American inventor who claims to have developed an electronic device capable of killing men or curing them of disease is obviously determined to back the world’si statesmen both ways—for war or peace.

“RUSSIANS Said To Have Tested New Warheads,” said a headline in the cable news this week. One of them, of course, would be the new Prime Minister, Mr Khrushchev.

A FLEET STREET journalist. Miss Gwen Robyns, has arrived in Wellington looking for a fabulous New Zealander to write about. Everybody knows Mr Nash, Mr Walsh, and Humble Harry. Miss Robyns. Blushing modestly, The Walrus suggests The . . .

□HHE man in New York who, intent on committftig suicide, turned on the gas, struck a match to have a last cigarette, and caused a violent explosion, is a living refutation of the antismoking argument. Had he been a non-smoker, he would not be here to give the reporters the news.

A CCORDING to oqe of its public ***■ information officers, the United States Army hopes to add a new talent to Private Elvis Presley’s entertainment ability during his term of service. Let’s hope it’s silence. ¥ A CHAMPION Scottish dancer A and instructor who now lives in Wellington believes that Highland dancing. New Zealand style, does not express the character of the dance. But at least our dancers give it a fling. CPIKE MILLIGAN, one of the stars of the Goon Show, has sailed for Sydney. Sailing backwards for Christmas? , * TN a fashion article from London, A Muriel Penn says the new skirts taper from the hips to a hem so narrow that it is often quite difficult to walk. Mrs Walrus is gratified that the couturier is at last making a skirt to fit her shape. She is not keen on walking, anyway.

T> EJECTING a suggestion that Scotch whisky might be imported in bulk and broken down here, the managing director of a Scottish distilling firm said distillers would not risk having their blends upset by New Zealand water. As a bibulous friend said, a neat summing up.

17 ROM a contemporary the other day. The guest speaker for the evening was Mr— who gave an interesting address on the “Language of Bees.” Presumably the audience was told how to speak the Queen Bee’s English.

THE British Minister of AgriA culture told the House of Commons this week that it is impossible with the scientific knowledge available to ascertain what proportion of meat there is in a sausage. Has Mr Hare tried suggesting to the scientists that they should first ascertain the proportion of bread. What’s left should be meat.

DHUBARB roulette is recommended by Elizabeth on the ' women’s page of “The Press.” That’s one kind of roulette where red always wins.

pORN-TANNED leather is in use in the United States. Shoes made from it are expected to be eagerly sought by ‘the comedians who make those corny jokes.

"VINE test match players will be in the Duke of Norfolk’s eleven which will play the New Zealand touring team at Arundel Castle on April 26. Nine only? Taking our boys lightly, eh?

17ROM the theatre advertiseX ments in Timaru last week, “Robbery Under Arms.” (Please note: There is no connexion between the title of this film and recent local events).