LET X EQUAL A POLICEMAN

Press, Volume XCIV, Issue 28104, 20 October 1956, Page 10

LET X EQUAL A POLICEMAN

I By

WHIM WHAM]

Intelligence, character, good health and physique and “that undefinable something that makes a good policeman” . . . Requirements stated by Inspector O. S. W. Power, chief recruiting officer of the Police Force, commenting on Auckland applications in response to the new recruiUng campaign. Oh. one was the Build of Peter Jones, With the Brains of Beeb as weii; His Character hadn’t a single Flaw, As far as we could tell; His Manners were perfect, his Teeth were sound. And his Temperament ideal: A Specimen so superb, in Fact, We could hardly believe him real. And then we put his Uniform on And settled his Helmet straight; And marched him out of the Watchhouse Door, Remarking his godlike Gait: Oh, it wasn’t his Eyes, or the Set of his Ears, Or the Way his Hair was cut. That told us he never would do for the Force. The perfect Constable. BUT . . . That undefinable Something, which We shan’t attempt to define. The Je-ne-sais-quoi of the true Gendarme. The half-perceptible Sign. The imponderable, the intangible IT, The Policeman’s How-do-you-call . . . It was plainly missing, it was not there. He didn't have it. that’s All! So we had to advise him: Sorry, Sporu. No Peeler's Life for you. Go buy a Farm, or study the Law, Or a Teacher’s Job might do. Oh. the Force can pick, and the Force can choose. And the Force must have the Best By the last and finest and inexpressiblest. Indescribablest Test! •