...Of Many Things

Press, Volume XCIV, Issue 28104, 20 October 1956, Page 10

...Of Many Things

rpHE salaries of judges and magistrates have been increased this week. The Walrus wonders if this is to keep some sort of a margin over policemen.

UR Dulles is improving. At one time he took months to correct a statement. Last week he corrected one within a day. This week he said he plans to correct statements as he issues them. He may get round to correcting them before he issues them.

••'V’EW Zealand Gooseberry Delights London Epicure.” was the headline in a North Island newspaper to a story about the English market for Chinese gooseberries. The Walrus wonders whether the epicure would react the same way to a New’ Zealand raspberry at Lancaster Park.

TWO new frigates have been ordered for service with the Royal New Zealand Navy. The Walrus is now w’aiting for the Naval Board to open negotiations with the Admiraltv for the services of Captain Horatio Hornblower.

“T>UBIROSA To Wed.” said a headline in “The Press.” That announcement about the wedding plans of the wealthy Dominican diplomat, Porfirio Rubirosa, was hardly news to The Walrus. He had read it before—four times.

A lavish supper was not provided by the Christchurch Drainage Board at its meeting this week. “Partridge to the board for execution." listed on the agenda, was merely a description of a solicitor’s letter enclosing an easement.

UOLLYWOOD glamour department. The film actress. June Havoc, with hundreds of other passengers, had a trying trip across the Atlantic when the liner Queen Mary hit a hurricane. But Miss Havoc’s injuries were more glamorous than most. Her ankles, she said, “were black and blue from rolling champagne bottles.”

“'PROVISION of Vampires Unlikely." said a headline in “The Press” this week- We should hope so. Isn’t there enough trouble with the rooks?

A FTER being banned from playing in Melbourne during the Olympic Games, the Chinese Classical Theatre will not think much of the Mingies dynasty of Australia.

\ T EW Zealand had better get television soon—just so the average racegoer can see his favourite horses running on Australian tracks.

yHE United States has produced and successfully tested a “cleaner” hydrogen bomb with reduced radioactive fallout. What the American scientists should do now is produce a bomb which will be completely harmless.

A road safety committee in the North A Island suggested that the crown tops on beer bottles should carry the legend: “Don't Drive.” To lake this idea further, the New Zealand Alliance should seek permission to have the bottle tops marked with the words: "Don’t Drink It.”

pOLICEMEN in Philadelphia have been forbidden to wear suede shoes and colourful socks. As far as The Walrus knows, a similar order has not been issued in New Zealand, so it is quite likely that the pay increases of our policement may go to their feet

"l/VEN members appeared to weary of themselves or certainly of some of their colleagues.” was the comment of a Parliamentary reporter on a debate which continued until after three o’clock in the morning. He didn’t say just how weary the public were.

. . VVOON decided to turn on some ’ ’ fireworks. At the seventh he threw an 8 iron to within 4ft of the pin. . . .’’ From a report of play in the New Zealand golf championships. In his innocence The Walrus thought the idea was to hit the ball, not throw the club.

/COMMUNIST claims that their form of society produces none of the psychological maladies of the West are not supported by recent events. Mesdames Ponomareva and Juznic. for instance, have shown that kleptomania is not a peculiarly Western form of neurosis.

TNCIDENTAL intelligence. A little 1 book by L. H. C. Tippett, called "Random Sampling Numbers," contains nothing but 10.400 four-figure numbers, the only distinction of which is that no number bears any logical relationship to any other. Statisticians use it to make sure their random samples are really random.

r PHE Walrus has heard “I Like Ike." the Republican Party's campaign song of the 1952 Presidential election, played over the radio. Not having heard it for at least three years, he is curious about this friendly gesture by the New Zealand Broadcasting Service. And he does not feel that the announcer’s description of it as “an Irving Berlin number from ‘Call Me Madam,’ ’’ is sufficient explanation.

A self-lighting cigarette is expected to be on the market in Christchurch before Christmas. The Walrus wonders if it can smoke itself as well.

—The Walrus