“FRIENDSHIP AND MARRIAGE"

Press, Volume LXXXVII, Issue 26516, 3 September 1951, Page 3

“FRIENDSHIP AND MARRIAGE"

ADDRESS BY CANON GREEN “You cannot be happily married unless you are a happily integrated person of loyalty and character," said Canon Bryan Green. Rector of Birmingham, in the Christchurch Cathedral on Saturday evening. Canon Green was speaking on “Friendship, Love and Marriage.” The Cathedral was packed, with many persons sitting on the floor, and the service was relayed to an overflow audience in the Civic Theatre. Before deciding whether or not they were in love a young couple should ask themselves six questions, said Canon Green. These were:—

“(1) Have you known each other long enough to say that you could give yourselves to one another? “(2) In what circumstances have you been together? You want to know each other in your own homes. The girl should see the man at his work and in his home. Have you known each other as ordinary people facing the difficulties of life? “(3) Are you happy together without displays of physical affection? A couple should make sure there is not too much physical attraction. “(4) What' interests have you in common? The happiest marriages are likely to be between those with common interests. It does not always follow, but as a rule they work out best if there is some common ground. “(5) Do you share common ideals? It is fatal for an agnostic to marry a Christian. If this came about, there would be a real cleavage and an unhappy home. In England to-day, there are probably more unhappy homes caused by a cleavage of ideals than from any other cause. “(6) Do you trust each other absolutely? You cannot give yourself to anyone unless you trust him. If you really trust anybody, that is a good basis for love. It does not mean that love will follow, but it is a good basis.’’

“Nothing Lost by Waiting” “Supposing you don’t know if you love someone, the answer to your problem is to wait. If, after waiting, you still don’t know, wait again,’ Canon Green said. “Nothing will be lost by waiting, and an immense amount will be gained.” The most common reason for broken .marriages in England was that the couple did not wait to see if they were really in love, he said. Some preparation for .marriage was necessary, but he viewed marriage guidance with some reservation, said Canon Green. “If there is too muchguidance, too many books, and too much discussion the couple will lose the romantic beauty of the thing. Don’t get self-conscious about it,” he said. \ To-day there were certain economic difficulties, attached to marriage, which should not be there. Lack of housing and a high cost of living which forced the wife to continue with her job to make enough money to keep the home going, were two of these. “The feeling of being private and independent is a great thing in marriage. Many marriages have come to grief because they lacked these two important factors,” added Canon Green.