SEZ YOU !

Auckland Star, Volume LXXV, Issue 262, 4 November 1944, Page 3 (Supplement)

SEZ YOU !

WISECRACKS FROM THE NEWS

Luftwaffe pilots are not being looked up to. ® * * * * German troops will soon be high and dry in the Lowlands. *** , * It must be perplexing to the Japanese how the greatest successes of the U.S. Fleet always occur two or three days after it has gone to the bottom! * .* * * If you want to see your motorist friend really perform, just remind him of those four'tyres he put in the copper fire six years ago. * * * * Awarua reflection—Herron simply flew in. * * * * Japanese sailors are finding it hard to keep their heads above water.. * * * * Motorists' chorus: "Gal of My Dreams." * * * * German S.S. troops in Holland have been issued with one order: "Die where you stand." What we'd call real co-operation. * * * * New meat agreement—farmers are naturally wondering who is to get the gravy. * * :je , 3k Red Army men can't help hoping that Norway is right in their Lapps. * * * * Efforts by manufacturers to have the sales tax of 20 per cent removed from perambulators have met with no success. Harassed parents will iust have to continue carrying the baby. * * * * Domestic work at the Dunedin Hospital will in future be carried out under contract by a carpet shampooing company. One of those sweeping changes. U-boat commanders must be prepared to sink pretty low. * * * * At January 1 of this year there were 66,849 fewer cows in milk in New Zealand. The udder side of the picture. * * * * A wave of depression is said to be sweeping Berlin. If that's all that sweeps them they'll be rather fortunate. * * * * The Strongman State mine was idle one day last week following a claim by the men that the bathhouse temperature was four degrees below the regulation 60 degrees. That's cool, if you like! * * * * A reduction has been announced in the allowance of petrol for pleasure craft. Owners at least know they are all in the same boat. * * * * Von Hammer, the German commentator, is incensed because his name has appeared in some newspapers without the "von." He naturally feels that his is one name that should have a handle.

A 72-year-old Paris editor has been sentenced to 20 years' imprisonment for collaboration. No doubt he was also asked to give a solemn undertaking that he would cause no more trouble when released.

Hamm has been raided for the third time in six days. Hamm seems well cooked! * * * *

Mr. C. G. Scrimgeour is to leave for Australia on November 15 on a preference permit to travel by air. We would treat with reserve any rumours that Mr. Fraser and Cabinet Ministers are to assemble at the airport with the object of tendering an enthusiastic farewell. .* * * *

Even chronic invalids are being thrown by the Germans into the fighting in Holland. No improvement is reported in their shooting pains.

A warning has been issued to Allied troops that the waving of white handkerchiefs by the enemy should always be viewed with an eye to treachery. They should be on the alert for any hanky-panky.