THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LXX, Issue 219, 16 September 1939, Page 8

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MEN ABOUT TOWN.)

The purchaser of a car was out for a driving test -with one of the traffic cope. They liad driven a couple of miles or so -without fracturing any of the NOT IF by-laws when the traffic MOTHER . officer said, "Turn round this next corner on the right without giving the signal." The driver did so. lt Xow why didn't you put your hand out?"' asked the officer. "Well, you told me not to give the signal." replied the flustered driver. "Oh, well, would you do the same if your mother or wife told you?" "Er, no, not if my mother told me not to."—Johnny. The state of discipline and spirit in armies and the like is now commonly indicated by the word morale, which is pronounced morali'l. It is an English MORALE. word to be found in dictionaries printed in English for the past half-century. Let nobodybe bullied into abandoning this English word, says Fowler, the exeat English authority, by a mixture of Gallicism and pedantry. Ho advises everybody to ignore or abstain from using the French equivalent, "moral." Those who desire to get to the bottom of this matter are recommended to turn to Fowler's "Modern English Usage," in which they will find two and a half columns a'bont it. Fowler says that the introduction of the word "moral" in English, because that is the French spelling of what in England is called morale, was merely a trick of the Press, weakly supported by the argument that the French write "morale" when they mean what is comprehended by * the English word "moral." — Touchstone.

This doesn't ring true to me, but still it was told to me in all seriousness bv a chap who does a spot of fishing when the big 'uns are about. He EDUCATED BAIT, says down Taupo way there is a man who has traiiMVl a goldfish to act as educated bait. He puts the fish into a special little harness attached to a. line and drops it in the liver, indicating on his fingers the number of fish he wants. The goldfish understands, and goes looking for trout or bass, pike or pickerel. The ferocious game fish, seeing the glittering morsel, gulps it down—but not quite, for the goldfish, {retting into the gullet of the game fish, nimbly slithers out through one sill, thus threading the fish 011 his line. Then he proceeds on his way, stringing one fish after another, until he lias the right number. Then he swims around the whole line of fish, agd with the slack of the line ties a knot. This is necessary, as it would be very painful to be drawn back through the other fishes' gills, and the catch would be lost in the bargain. Having tied tho knot, the goldfish lets up a few air bubbles, which are a signal to his master, who proceeds to haul in his catch.— Johnnv.

TO BERLIN. W'-'ro on the road to Berlin, boys.

The ftm hns just hegun: We'll null the hairs from Hitler's mo' — And pull them one by one.

We'll pull off Ooerinsr's dirtv pants ■And tweak his dirty nose: We'll dress him ur> in petticoats And stand him on his toes.

We n call on Goebbeis while we're there And roll him in the mud: We'll put his medals on behind. The baby-killinsr dud.

teach those skunks a lesson, bovs. Well teach them day bv dav: n , L iy * he same and show them Killins: kiddies doesn't pay.

W -fTr b M? t^ t,lem ,n tlie last Great War, 11 force them to prive in: a il> n i a 7 c , h 4 through to victorv And finish in Berlin.

make no error .different terms we'll make: them as the Aussies do vv hen stampmsr out a snake.

with tlle Germans, Its their leaders we detest: "i'f bow to cranks like Hitler They must suffer like the rest. —THE TOMTIT

*-»r r' C V V ° 6chools of thought anent u-li ,i„ y lnost llllm erous are those who decry war as a most wicked, cruel and <?rwr»nTc n-c unnecessary method of SCHOOLS OF settling national differTHOUGHT. ences. Other people are naf - . . of the opinion that in the national interest war, if not necessarv, at tl " 1 f s ' nla >\ }>e desirable as a check to laissez faire and laxity in the nation and a means of toning up the national spirit. The first school is no doubt right, but it is interestmg to note the following expressions of the contrary opinion. Thus Shakespeare: 1 lie pride, pomp and circumstance of Morious war. Beaumont and Fletcher put it thus- .' \ ar tbat healest with blood the earth when it is sick, and direst the world o' the plurisv of people.' Addison: "Mr voice is still for war. Quotations could be multiplied, but Benjamin Franklin was right when he wrote. Thei e never was a good war or a bad peace." All will pray that the peace front warn a -humane war (and there is such a thing) to a victorious conclusion, and that, as the «rcat Duke of Wellington wrote. "When war is concluded, I am decidedly of opinion that all animosity should be forgotten and that all prisoners should be released." The matter is well summed up by Kins: Henrv V. before Harfleur: In peace there s nothing so becomes a man As modest stillness and humilitv: a man ?l?J^?^ laßt of war blows in ou >- ears, £>urten the sinews, summon un the blood Tl\ S^ U \™£ a Vu nature with ] lar <i-favour'd rage; Then lend the eye a terrible aspect. —J.W.W.

There will be no war in Europe during the next decade," says the president of the Spiritualists' National Union (of Great PROPHVTC 'Britain) in a special interview recentlv nubAND LOSSES, lished. which I am for- , r . warding for your perusal, .Mi. locator. I know this information -will give you great satisfaction. One cannot believe the newspapers—to read them one would think there actually was a war on now Slr > ls purely imagination. Let me quote the president: "Peace is assured for ten years. . . . Germany will regain possession of her former colonies. I am certain there will be no war in which the British Empire will be engaged within the next decade . . . there will, of course, 'be difficulties; there will be an international understanding. . . . Britain will not lose any territory—only mandated German territory. . . Germany will resolve her domestic troubles without resort to war" The president sees all this in "visions " I wish I could. Still—it's nice to know there is no war on. This prophecv of Air Bla'e docs not stand alone. Oh, no. A horoscope ol the vernal equinox prepared bv Mr Xaviols headed in big type. "Xo World War in 1939-40." £ Tt confirms my reiterated prediction that there will be no arreat war invu'viu" Britain," says Mr. Xaylor. That, of cour-e settles everything. As a din,her let me add Miss Nina Francis' prediction. '"There will be peace in 1939," she says. At a seance at her home in Sussex on March 1", 1939, Abdulil Latif, a famous Persian philosopher, phvsician and astrologer who lived in the twelfth century, told her all this. Miss Francis is a medium. As a medium she is—well, iust medium; "It is written," said guide Abduhl to her, that the countries of F-it.te.rn llMiro-pe shall come under the control of uer•mniiy nnd Italy—without w.-vr."' Vixluhl— a . . . —MaoCluive.