CLUBMAN'S CHAIR.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIX, Issue 282, 29 November 1938, Page 4

CLUBMAN'S CHAIR.

SCARE FOR NEVILLE.

1 CORNERING SPADES. I MARCHING TO THE "JLAMBETH i WALK." ■ i I Hy CHARLES MAR.TCC.) LONDON", November 5. All the world knows that Mr. ChaniIm'i |;i id's lir*t to (Germany was al*o tlii! tii-t Iliiilit lif liud ever undertaken. Tin , I'lcinier's Httitiido tii flying is illusir.itcd by a cmncrsat inn lie i* reported in liii\<• liiid with ilie King at Balmoral. Ii »;ik in I lie early days of the crisis. l\iii'_' tirnryi , e\)ire--.cd regret that urgent ('.linnet Im-ine-s sliuiild interfere with hi- jitii—tV« I'awiuritc pastime. "Why not -tii\ mi fur h morning's tishinjr," *aid Mi- Ma ji'-t \ - , "and I will send you back !•> l.iiiiilitii in my aeroplane in time for i In' ( a Mud meeting.'' Mr. ( hainlM-iiuin. while appreciative of the nlTi'i . did not hesitate to decline, ■■'nil , of living terrifies me,"' lie ununited. "I wniikl -ooner forego my li.-hillj;.*' Five Neville Chamberlains. If. a< expected, the Primp Minister i* n winded ii knighthund, he will not be the first Sir Neville Chamberlain. There tvas the Field-Marshal Si,- Neville who served in tin- Indian Mutiny and the first Afghan war. And there i* still living tho grandson of that distinguished eoldier. the present Sir Neville, who is an e\ -at in \ nllicer and a veteran of nianv •iini|.;iiL:ii-. Lnnl Koberts appointed him ti. hi- -tutT during the second Afghan war and later made him his private secretary in South Africa. The old soldier, however, i* hardly likely to be confused with the statesman. There are also three other Neville t hambcrlaine, and all have had military <-areers. War Scare Profits. To some business mea the war scare. was an opportunity to make extra protits. In "crisis week." when defensive measures were being pushed on at top speed, prices of materials needed for, shelters tended to rise sharply, in many! instances from 200 to 400* per cent. Sandbags, selling a few weeks earlier at 2jd each, were offered at 7jd caeh. The jute trade experienced a boom. In more than one district there was a shortage of bugs and I heard of firms offering' substitutes made of paper. The danger of these, of course, was that the paper was likely to rot and let the sand run out. The price of sand increased threefold. "Keep Calm and Dig' , was the poster message of one London newspaper, Londoners who were asked 10/ for a pickaxe which could have been bought before the crisis for 3/. or 7/tt for a spade previously obtainable for 2/fl, were not always disposed to keep calm about this profiteering. But they got on with the •'•gg'Hg- Such instances as I have quoted, and I heard of many others, appeared to be due, not no much to the makers or to the retailers, ha to dealers who formed a ring to corner supplies. £ The Trek from London. The man v, ho paid three times as much as he should have done for a garden tool, for trench digging in hie back garden, received more sympathy than the man who paid an exorbitant price for a country house which now he doesn't want. I hear of many such transactions rushed through at "the last moment. September must have been a good month for house agents. A revealing commentary on events was provided by the classified advertisement columns of the London newspapers. Hospitals, nursing homes and schools asked urgently for accommodation in districts not likely to be raided; but most of the advertisements were inserted by those with accommodation to offer. A spacious Georgian house in the West Country, described as the "best A.R.1 , , yet," was going at £3500* a Winchester cottage was to be let "for duration;" many properties, all "delightful, ■' were available in Ireland; and a "shallow draught Dutch yacht on the Thames" was offered with the inducement: "steel keeps out splinters." Successor to "Tipperary." If the tragedy had not been averted what song would have been on the lips of the British soldiers when they marched to war? When things looked blackest I joined a group who were discussing the probable successor to "Tipperary." It was agreed that the "Lambeth Walk," if harmonised and arranged, would be a likely choice. It was sufficiently remote from war to appeal to tho British "Tommy," who in the matter of songs is unwarlike, if not defeatist. Did not one of the most popular ditties of the last war end with the word: "Oh my, 1 don't want to die, I want to go home"? Theatre* and the Criaia. The threat of war inevitably affected the London theatres. New productions were postponed and several had to be withdrawn. The chief casualty was Ivor Novello* presentation of "Henry V." at ! Drury Lane. This lasted only a fortnight and was the shortest run at this theatre for more than 30 years. .Shows held up for a few days included tlie rather significantly named musical comedy '"Bobby, Get Your Gun." A satirical comedy entitled "Shall I Go to Prague?" by A. G. Macdonell, was considered hardly «uitablc for the times, but the new crazy show at the London Palladium, "These Foolish Thing*," opened as usual and is scoring another success for Mr. George Black. Covered in the King's Presence. A man who enjoye a unique privilege has just celebrated hi* nfty-sfxth birthday. He is Lord Kingsale, premier baron of Ireland, and the only man in the world who has the right to remain covered in the presence of the King. An ancestor of this Irish peer once performed a feat of strength and skill before King John. The monarch who was forced to *ign Magna Chart*, did not lack appreciation of physical prowess. The feat wa* the cleaving in twain at one blow of a massive helmet an<l tho reward was the right to keep In- hat on he fore Royalty, a right that was to he passed on to his successors for all time. Eyston and the Careful Drivers. London \ n preparing a tremendous welcome fur Gnorye Kyston. the world's tautest motorist, when he returns shortly inini AiniM-ica. The celebrations include a dinner given, ill hi-* honour by the world"* most careful drivers, the Guild of Master Motorist*. The record breaker is to bo made an honorary member the first and only one. The guild has* 40."» member*, and all have driven for at least 20 years without lieing imnlved h, an accident. Photographic prints of past licenses have to l)p produced when application is made for membership, one of the benefit* of which is a 4«J per cent reduction in insurance rates at Lloyd's.