RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXVI, Issue 58, 9 March 1935, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.)

The sovereign is still soaring. What sovereign?

After all these nudists are egotists— just wrapped up in themselves.

Headline, "Preserving the Whale." In his own oil, I take it? Hard luck for the sardine trade!

Malcolm Campbell, the speed fan, has reached over 233 miles in a car. He says the scenery looked lovely.

On this planet one billion nine hundred million people eat two or three meals a day (if possible). Will New Zealand dairy farmers please cheer up?

A gentleman whose home town is Chicago says it is silly to laugh at the Fascist salute of holding up the right hand. In his town they hold up both.

A French genius has invented an unsinkable ship. I sincerely trust the invention may be available for every submarine in every navy in the world.

The King of Siam has abdicated, and his nice tall throne has been offered to a boy prince. What the boy prince has done to annoy Siam is not stated.

I wonder if the gorgeous gift of Lord Nuffield to the crippled children of New Zealand will appeal to New Zealand's local hoarders ? "Go thou and do likewise."

An eminent physician has declared that New Zealand children cat too much sugar. Their parents invariably complain that there is far too little "sugar" about.

"I sec by the papers that a Spanish prince, who is about to bo married, is stone deaf," said a married man to a bachelor. "Lucky man," hissed the bachelor.

Forty-four inches of rain fell in one week in a Queensland town. This is about 4400 tons per acre. The only thing you can't float in the vicinity is a company.

Yon are quite right, Horace. MajorGeneral Sir Alexander Hore-Ruthven's name is pronounced "Hore-Riven." No, "Cholmondelcy" is not pronounced "Marshbanks."

"Who wrote the first English poem l" asked the local schoolmaster, throwing a. fierce finger at the class. "Please, sir, it wasn't me," answered the boy nearest in line with that finger.

As an example of the triumph of mind over matter, I fancy that the spectacle of an unemployed man rejoicing because he has to pay more for the things I.e wants than he did when he had a job, is the best.

A Gisborne gentleman caught 4400 white butterflies by chasing them with a net. Selectors contemplating sending long distance runners to the next world's games should note this gentleman's form.

Some of those white delineation linos on pavement and street need sandblasting. One man I know blasted ft new smooth painted line without sand when he took a purler—hip as black as a new hardhitter.

I note with pleasure that the N.Z.8.8. is to spend a very large sum tof money in erecting a fine new radio station near Wellington. I feel that if there are 10 or 20 shillings over they might be profitably expended in new records.

Reading the current news from Greece, I v.'iitiire to hope that our radio announcers will never be faced with the appalling task of announcing the names of Greek vocalists and Greek composers. Few are skilled in more than nineteen languages. A New Zealand man. recently returned from Germany, attended a concert, at which a foreigner sang magnificently. "Splendid, isn't he V asked Fernleaf of Fritz. "We can't say how good he is until we know what nationality he is," answered Fritz.