RANDOM SHOTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LXIV, Issue 291, 9 December 1933, Page 2 (Supplement)

RANDOM SHOTS.

(By ZAMIEL.)

News from Ireland is suggested by the heading, 'Coming to a Head." A boil over? Headline: "Levy Not Paid." I shouldn't wonder if Mr. Levy is a bit annoyed. Tho painting trade is busy—just a brush with that old tyrant General Depression. There- is one decent thing about these new nudists—they never talk through their hats. Not a jesting matter of course—but two headlines. "Execution at Lahore. Suspension Order Too Late." And supposing the Irish people do hive off from England and go on their own— phwat the divil is the Empire to do for police forces? Apropos the new silver coinage, everybody-js interested in "brass." The New Zealand band contests are to 'be held in February next. "Dad," said tho incorrigible young joker selecting points of interest from the family's "Star." "If Jiggs saw puzzles, what did Maggie see?" I understand that now the prohibition era has ended in the United States ths population will continue to absorb alcoholic liquor, just as if it wasn't ended. As a result of a London show recently, one million pounds' worth of bikes were sold. Sending a man to Coventry must mean something nowadays. It is untrue that a Dunedin tailor has sued a customer who has joined the Nudist Club. In the case of it having been true one wonders if the'tailor could —recover. A gossip writer says that if one has the 'flu tho best thing to do is to stay in bed and read a modern novel. He doesn't tell us what is the next best thing to do.

. A local golf addict tells me that during last seaeon he found his knowledge of English, German and French so inadequate' that he is learning Australian—and Esperanto. It has now foeen definitely decided that the princes who were murdered in the Tower of London —were murdered in the Tower of London, a cablegram confirming this decision. Objection has been made to the design of the New Zealand half-crown, because it contains no reference to the Deity. Perhaps the objectors forget that the half-crown itself is the deity. I note with eomo perturbation that "there is , a definite shortage of Merino yarns." Still, there is the good old Corriedale story, the highly interesting tale of Southdown and a whole library of other beet sellers. At the present moment with a "wet" era dawning for America many descendants of the people of the Mayflower will be' turning their thoughts to "schooners" once more. , A celebrated' Japanese craftsman has just finished a cut metal and lacquer cabinet —Ills sole work for 21 years. The cabinet, unlike New Zealand's best known Cabinet, is to be kept in a glass case. A eoldier of the Scots Guards walked from London to Aberdeen and back to pick up hi 3 forgotten uniform —and to save postage. If he was the kind of Aberdonian he ought to be, he wore his Army- boots). In Samoa when an official is being farcwelled the kava drinking ceremony invariably winds up the proceedings. It is claimed that it was at one of these ceremonies that the universal invitation "K-k-k-kava another." was first used.

It has boon pointed out tliat if the boots you wear while using the chemical cure for ragwort are taken off and put in a corner they may explode weeks after. One waits with anxiety for the first terrific explosion in a cobbler's shop. Says Profeseor H. N. Sage, of British Columbia: "London is no longer the heart of Empire. Victoria, Capetown, Sydney and London arc all of one status." I'm thinking of sending the professor a. map of the North Island with a red ring round Auckland. A man recently apologised for using unseemly language, saying he didn't know the man to whom ho spoke was a constable—thinking him but a friend. Ft reminds one of the weeping widow who, on being condoled with by a neighbour, sobbed "Poor Bill's gorn—'o was more like a friend than a husband."