THE PASSING SHOW.

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 234, 4 October 1927, Page 6

THE PASSING SHOW.

(By THE MAN ABOUT TOWN.)

Shop signs are a source of great interest to those who associate the names of business people with their callings. A Hastings man mentions that for years COFFIN, the firm of Tombs GENERAL CARRIER, and Grubb carried on the business of undertakers in that town, ( while Mr. Whisk«-r pleasantly pursued the avocation of a hairdresser. Possibly A. Coffin, general carrier, of Wellington, is the name that propounds the greatest universal truth, but Bishop and Parsonage, cabinet makers, is a suggestive political combination. No doubt, if one went through any town casting an observant eye on shop fronts, one would find many names suggesting the avocation of the proprietors.

I The grave citizen had read aloud a paragraph in this column intimating, among other things, that Sunday had not always been a holiday, and his THE little girl inquired, "Does CHILD MIND. everybody have a holiday on Sun day, Daddy I" Daddy replied that there were those who did not. "For instance," said he, "there are clergymen and Sunday school teachers." "Oh, I do not mean them," retorted the little one, "I mean the people who work." Another infant had been to a picture show. "How did you like the picture, Bill?" asked Dad. "No good!" said the young citizen, "nothing but women and love —but (and his fair young face glowed with interest) there were two snosker fights in it."

Simultaneously with the work of research in chemical laboratories with a view to discovering effective gases has been improvement in the mask to provide THE GAS ATTACK, a defence against this new weapon of war. When Wellington won Waterloo, They fought like gentlemen. No poison pas, no aerial bombs, No ghastly barrage then. No Minniwerfers rent the air, No Skodas ripped the sky; But war was just the same dread game, 'Twas just the same old die! In Wellington the Reds and Bines May fight like gentlemen. No poison gas? No aerial bombs? From twelve o'clock till ten. And as they snore and fall asleep. Aweary with their tasks. Oh. how the public wishes that All M.P.'s wore gas masks! « A literary shudder agitates the newspapers at the sinister possibilities of Von Hindenburg breaking out again. Germany, with great fervour, celebrated the A PEW HOCHS. eightieth birthday of the old Frankenstein, waved its wooden gun, yelled, "Deutchland über Alles!" and forgot nothing bar "Hoch der Kaiser!" We affect to see something sinister j in Germany's millions idolising an old soldier, but none in ourselves idolising men of the sword. Nobody minds us throwing a hat in the air and calling, "England for ever!" or "Beattie for ever!" "Hooray for Haig!" "Three cheers for Jellicoe!" When we say these sinister things Gerefan literary folk mention that John Bull, despite his peaceful appearance, has a rock up his sleeve for Europe. TjHo constant assumption of we peaceful persons with inkpots that the nations are hankering after war keeps the people of the nations from settling down to the plough and the pruning hook. Hindenburg probably feels'more like toasting his old toea before the fire than setting fire to Europe again. When the Germans yell loudest they are the most harmless.

| Ladies who have suffered a journo% i»«>m | Auckland to Wellington and have arrived at j Thorndon giving a fair representation of eombined sweep and limei KAIL, WAY burner will be gratified to REFORM, observe that the Railway | Department provides paper bags gratis for the entombment of the lady s hat en route. The notice does not say whether the bag is to be handed in at the end of the journey (as is the case with the shilling cushion). It is understood that when the half-acre Merry Widow hat was the ten or twelve years ago a State servant conceived the happy idea of the free bag. The idea has grown and grown to fruition at a time when hats are hardly larger than pot lids and can be embalmed in a mere suit case. Ladies are not restrained from wearing the bag and the hat at the same time. It would strike a chic note. It is a step in the right direction, but one wonders why the Department hurried. Other bright ideas have taken twentv years to bear fruit. One remembers, for instance, beautiful posts with cocksfoot ten feet high surrounding them and burying the track with 'Stop! Look out for the Engine!" on them Not a soul sat in a cart waiting for twentv years for the train to pass.

They manage these tilings <!imreuilv in b ranee. Lawyers advertise there. * For instance, when legal firms see that Jean seeks a divorce from Jeanne, jit y??.. they send a circular askOLD LOVE. ing the parties to note the

great cheapness with which monsieur and madame can be released from the marital bond. These firms of avocats provocateurs set out that divorces may be obtained on the instalment plan, twenty francs down, as it were, and the remainder by monthly instalment, when the onion crop is harvested. Almost everything (except divorce) may be purchased by instalment in New Zealand, and as the divorce business is relatively as brisk here as in France, if the Law Society permitted solicitors to advertise, a nice little business could be worked up. Some countries believe that it is pernicious for people who arc incompatible to each other to be debarred from divorce merely because they are too poor to seek freedom in the Court and facilitate the process by State aid and small legal fees. Two thousand four hundred divorce cases are pending in London alone, and the non-advertising lawyer walks round washing his hands in invisible soap "ratefullv ,murmuring, "Costs!"

Altbln^ 8 ju a neW . fashion in P ets for ladies. human net majont y still favour the small human pet, many society queens in the past TB -. liave preferred marmosets, HOUSF pa Tunrr °P oßßums and toy terriers. HOUSE CAMEL. So many ladies and ac- • « tresses at Home ha nussed their real and alleged jewels that the mere marmoset or the tiny dog have been unable to cope with Sikes. A oft burglar m London was recently about to help hiinlelf to the diamonds when the family pet rubbed hSrjemm^^o 4 fi'n I<?g ai } d purred - He dro PPed Ttmnw Hon , J P«*. « stalwwt eves °Hp w gag m with kind » vellow vefl and tfcl k f,° startled that he emitted a wiT„ tWw , e V an ° ld Mona man > simply not oil ti,!,, l-i • e' a ~- lne London police have "adfes to thread JL° r and have for bidden Lately , caSel at the zl » dogS ' ass midnight glimpse bv Sikes^f UDg , One would cure him of ties might hire the h;A™ authoripoHc, /rotectio,