AROUND THE TEA TABLE

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 108, 10 May 1927, Page 11

AROUND THE TEA TABLE

MATTERS OF GENERAL INTEREST.

(By SHIRLEY.)

Truly feminist is Miss Melville's proposal to divide the city for municipal purposes, into wards once more. By this voters will have fewer candidates to consider. I didn't have a vote myself. I am always told afterwards that I could have, and beforehand that I couldn't have, so that's that. However, I had the privilege of hearing from others of my sex of the intellectual effort required,. and of waiting umpteen minutes outside for one voteress. "You'd think she was choosing a hat," as her Victorian mother indignantly remarked, grudging this time waste. It is quite clear to every reasonable being that no woman, however charmed with the other sex, can possibly feel an absorbing interest in sixty of them at once. Becky Sharp couldn't haVe done it. You must get mixed up about whether Jones is the one interested in buses, or whether that apertains to Smith. There must be a dozen, at least, about which your mind is a total blank. You can, of course, cross, or not cross, out the names of those beginning with Mac, according to your national sympathies, a method invented once by an ingenious male voter. Christchurch seems to have done well as regards women in the council, the lady candidates having secured more votes than at any previous election. Dunedin has the sombre distinction of never having had a woman in the town council. It is rather galling for one lady put up at a previous election to realise that the men of her party, put up at the last, polled less than she did at her attempt. Evidently the Scottish city rather fears the monstrous regimen of women (not regiment, by the, way). • * » * A brilliant speaker the other day made a semi-spennerism—towards the end of his speech—"ship the sink," instead of "sink the ship," reminding us that a spoonerism, ever since the first clergyman referred to Esau's "pot of message," is largely a man's failing. It comes of over-tiredness in talking, and possibly women do not fail in this way because they never weary of well doing. The only case I recall is that of a suffragist lady in England who got out of being a suffragette because sha declared that she always said tictacs instead of tactics. And this was a word you couldn't get out of using. You either had to declare that you liked or didn't like suffragette tactics. Even the policeman mastered the phrase, and didn't like them marching on their beat. Possibly the lady's assertion, however, was merely an example of tic—l mean tactics.

One hopes Queen Mary will not arouse Bolshevist tendencies among her hostesses. They don't mind her carrying a large muff, though muffs are "out." But when she appeared at one of her own afternoon parties, hatless, there was distress. Hatless hostesses also went out some time ago, and they are not wanted in. It was a convenient way of recognising your hostess, but afterwards, evidently, the hostess did not want to be so conveniently recognised, so she dressed like Her guests.

"I never attend my own parties," said a cynical woman, lately, "but no one is aware of my absence. However, if I am to be singled out by being hat less, I'll have to be somewhere about." Come to think of it, it would be rather agreeable if there was a fashion about never attending one's own parties! Other people's are so much more enjoyable. However, Queen Mary's absence of hat has probably stopped such an interesting social development.

Here in New Zealand, we are happily too unsophisticated for such cynical changes. In any case, in New Zealand or the Homeland, there is one class of pleasure-seekers who can be trusted to enjoy every party, their own or other people's—the children. One notes, for instance, the quite small Auckland girl who came home from her first of the season in high glee. "Oh, mum, it was a lovely party. I'm black and blue all over." "Dear little mite," as the old lady said, at the Art Academy picture of "Hermes standing up in his cradle on the day of his birth, thanking the gods for life."

"So your wife ean't cook. Don't worry. Get your eats here, and keep her as a pet." Such a sub-title above a New Zealand restaurant would scarcely draw customers, but the American psychology is different. The restaurant keeper who thought out this slogan claims, not only that he has made customers for himself, but clients for the marriage registry. Weddings have resulted from his advice. Another firm, this for laundry, sent out mysterious leaflets marked, "For Husbands Only." On opening these one saw the words: "Divorce Your Wife," and following, in small letters, "from all hard work, and send your laundry to us." This enterprising establishment now covers two acres. Sweet is the word divorce to the American ear, "it softer falls than petals from blown roses on the grass," as Tennj'son would put it.

Another manager, wishing to push his house-cleansing machine, is too wary to disparage dirt. On the contrary, he informs the housewife by means, again, of leaflets, that "he wants that dirt. Without charging you a cent, we will clean a room in your house weekly. Yes, we want that dirt. Last year we moved 17,823 tons. Write and date us;" but, when he comes, the housewife somehow thinks she will have his cleansing arrangement for herself. Anyway, it would take some nerve to "date" the manager very often without buying one

A local library has thought out a good little scheme. It supplies book-markers in each volume given out, and this marker, besides useful information about local lectures, gives some needed advice regarding that most ill-treated of inanimate objects, the printed book. A society for the prevention of cruelty to books is badly wanted. They are left out in the sun, carried out in the rain, propped against milk jugs in bachelor apartments, and played with by little Willie in the married homes. Happy those readers whose natural tastes are for the educational works that Mr. Holland recommends, which lead a purdah existence, scarcely ever