RANDOM SHOTS

Auckland Star, Volume LVIII, Issue 78, 2 April 1927, Page 22

RANDOM SHOTS

Another glimpse of the obvious: "What the Farmer Wants. Cheaper Money—and Plenty of 1t. ,,

I do not credit the rumour that in view of Major Segrave's record of 203 miles an hour, a movement is on foot to have the speed limit in New Zealand raised.

Surgeons have operated successfully for appendicitis upon a child (a girl) one hour old. Perhaps the supplv of patients over that age is giving nut. Yonnger children than the one named are possibly exempt. Three young plumbers have recovered damages of one shilling each from an employer who dismissed them. This amount will, of course, be recklessly squandered upon solder and spirits of Milts. It is sad to think of the |»ossiblc fate of these little nestlings with no joints to wipe, and no leaks to repair. They may plumb the depths of despair. A .Southern doctor has decided to resign Ironi his liospit.il appointment unless the authorities give him an "institution" for the exclusive treatment of "chronic oars and noses." This sounds to me as if the doctor will find himself resigned, for as all our ears and noses are "chronic" the institution would I.e 100 iarge for Canterbury.

A stowaway from New Zealand has arrived in London. He mi id he had failed to get work in Auckland. The officers of the ship reported that on being found ho was set to work. He was "given all the 'dirty' jobs and did them extremely well." This perhaps explains why he could not get work in Auckland. A man really good at "dirty" work is useless here.

A town shopkeeper has Ix-en asked for a whip! He looked quite l>e\viitlerecl for a minute. "A whip?" lie exclaimed, then with a Hash of intelligence, "Oh, a whip! Xo, I hadn't seen one for some time. You set- the motor cars "' "Yes," said the customer, "I know most of them g* without anything hut a hlow or two for the tyres, but it is a horse I have. I suppose you remember that horses sometimes, as you might say, 'stall.' Well, mine does and I 'follow him up' with a whip.' .

The unconventional methods of the Minister of Education at prize gatherings have caused sumo comment in the Auckland district. I see that Mr. Wright has broken out again in Dunedin, by calling for three cheers for the "staffs husbands to be - ' at the Girls' High School. Xo doubt the Minister really thinks he is being funny, but it would be interesting to have the views of the staff, in respect not only to themselves, but to the effect on the girls. After all there is such a thing as dignity, and it has its value. The Auckland Acclimatisation Society proposes to import snipe from Shanghai, woodcock from Greece, partridge from Hungary, and green plover from New South Wales. The programme seems to me too modest. I suggest condors from Aconcagua, vultures from Uganda, ostriches from the veldt, and cassowaries from Timbuctoo. The petty native avifauna can walk under the huge legs of these Caesars and peep about to find themselves dishonourable graves.

A New Zealand educationist suggests that when a child has reached the age of twelve the parent shall Iμ? compelled to say what its calling shall be. If the ape was reduced a bit the boy would be ablc to help, for at a certain period all boys wish to be engine-drivers, tram conductors, or sailors. The ape of twelve has a certain advantage, however, for it is certain Chat at that stape no boy wishes to be a lawyer, and consequently there would be a falling off in the stream that flows to the law. I can foresee some domestic worries and scenes if this suggestion is adopted. The father is quite sufficiently worried now when he has to choose a. trade or profesisou for his boy at fourteen, sixteen, or eighteen. And if much compulsion is applied, children may turn and say exactly what they thing of their fathers in their particular callings. .Some children are uncannily observant, and recognise incompetency and unsuitability when they see it, even when it is crowned by the parental halo.

The house furnishing* used by the Duke of York during his visit to Dtincdin were sold by auction there last Friday. I am a little curious about the transaction. The Duke must have used blankets, mattresses and carpets in other parts of New Zealand; what has become of them? Or were the eight blankets offered in Dunedin used throughout the tour? A Northerner may scent here another injustice to the North ls'nn.l. Why should Dunedin lie the only place to be given the opportunity of bidding for the impress of the Royal foot? I am sure that if the authorities hud advertised the sale well, and held it in Wellington, they would have received much higher bids. It would be interesting to trace the destiny of some of these articles. A Koval blanket may be framed and set over the family mantelpiece side by side with a piece of tartan worn in the '45 or a lock of Flora Macdonald's hair. A Roval carpet may go into one of those frigid "best rooms -, which are well furnished but never used. Wo may oven foresee lawsuits about the ownership of these heirloom?.

I have often wondered how much the • i country has to pay in a year for the' literary redundancy of Ministers. Here j ' is a fresli example. The Hon. A. I) t McLeod telegraphed the following rocs- I sage to the "Made in New Zealand" Preference League: "As Minister of Industries and Common*, and as a New Zca'lander, I cordially support the movement the league has inaugurated. Durin" a recent inspection of a number of factories, it was a matter of surprise and regret to me to find that in some cases well-made articles of high quality and excellent finish were being sent out to retailers without any indies: t ion ifcat they were manufactured locally, and nn making inquiries as to the rcanon for such omission I whs informed in rvcrv rnse that it was a condition insisted upon by soni;- of the distributors." To cut ns ' many words out of thin as possible is an i interesting literary tnsk which may help to wile away a week-on J hour, "if i( |, i ordinary citizen h.id to telegraph such i opinions ho would cultivate brevity. The' telegram concludes with an even finer I rffart. Mr. McLeod say* that if i)..league -can assist in killing Midi pnjudiee mid imbuing c«ir pcnple with ; , Reuse of the desirability of loyally »!•■■ porting their own industries, it will, from the point of view of t he Dominion's pros- I ponty, have served a highlv useful