MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume LVI, Issue 192, 15 August 1925, Page 22

MERRIER MOMENTS.

From a schoolboy's essay: "Ben Jonson survived Shakespeare in some respects."

"What's the excitement in the Par. liamentary library?" "Seems an MP. wandered in."

"I just paid the doctor another £5 on his bill." "Hooray: two more payments and the baby's ours."

"Would you like to go with mc to the apiary thiß afternoon?" "Yes, you dear boy. I've always adored monkeys."

Taxi Driver (to rival): Where ths perishing 'ell dyer ithink ye're goin't This blue-faced idiot 'ailed mc first—, didn't yer, guvnor?

Customer: How can you tell imitation pearls from the real ones? Salesman! Ah, madam, one does not tell; one keeps it to oneself.

Blibber: Confound it! Why does"* women always have to be latet Blabbers Well, she was made later than man, you know.

Street Orator: It's knowledge w« want! Ask the av'ridge man when Magna Charta was King of England, and 'c can't tell yer!

It is said that six quarts of oil will cover a square mile of sea. But have you ever let a sardine tin drip on your white flannel trousers at a picnic!

Mrs. O'Brien (to caller): Faith, Norah, yez risimble yure mother that much Oi'd know yez wor her daughter if Oi'd never seen ayther ay yez.

Henry : Garner used to be a great sportsman. Is he reconciled to married life? George: I think so. I called on him recently and found him sifting .

ashes through an old tennis racquet.

Well-meaning Inquirer (after aoddant) t Have you sent for a doctor yet? Onlooker: It was a doctor who ran over him! W. M. I.: Really! How fortunate!