TALES OF THE TURF.

Auckland Star, Volume LV, Issue 248, 18 October 1924, Page 40 (Supplement)

TALES OF THE TURF.

BREAKING THE "BOOKIE." I wa9 surprised at a certain meeting to sco a friend—whose knowledge of racing I knew to be limited—coming towards mc shaking with laughter. "What are yor grinning at? I inquired "I've just backed the winner of tbejaet race and the bookie can't pay out, ho replied. "But where's the joke?" I said. He answered, "Joke? Why, it's enough to make a cat laugh—that's the second bookie I've broke to-day." FAIR PLAY FOR PUNTERS. It was at the steeplechase meeting at Newbury; "favourites" had won three successive races, and the "bookies" for [a change were having a rather lean time. I After the fourth race, in which th.j favourite got beaten by a rank outsider, the objection flag wah promptly hoisted. Tense silence reigned in the betting ring. A curious punter timidly approached a '-bookie" and asked him what the objection was. The "bookie" promptly and sarcastiiallv replied: "Why, the favourite* got beaten, ain't it?" A GOOD " DOUBLE." It was the last day at Ascot, and the tipsters were busy telling "certain winners" for 6d a time. One who had the usual crowd "listening in" shouted: "Didn't I give three winners yesterday? If you listened to mc you would all win I money!" I After a few more similar remarks hra commenced running round the ring with his slips, saying invitingly, "Come on now, I've got - little double!' . Voice from the crowd (evidently an unlucky purchaser) "You have. I've seen it at the Zoo!" TURNING THE TABLES. Paddy, returning from the races, where he had* lost rather heavily, was sitting disconsolately smoking in a first-cla*s non-smokingcarriage. A fellow-passenger objected, but Paddy refused to put out his pipe. The man said he would call the guard. "Call him," said Paddy. I This the man did, but before he had. 'time to speak Paddy said, "Guard, this man is travelling in a firwt-class carriage, .with a third-class ticket." On inspection this was found to be 'true and the man was ejected. i The other passengers were surprised at ' the turn of events, and asked Paddy how he knew. "Shurc," was the reply, "Oi saw a corner of his ticket sticking out of his pocket, and it was the same colour as mc own!" I THE LESSER EVIL. _ I Jupp was a leather-lunged Cockney , and a frequenter of the local rare meetings. When a most exciting race was in progress Jupp startled the spectators in the vicinity by putting his hands to his mouth and shouting, "Nah, then! Come on Steve," greatly to the discomfort of an angular-looking spinster.who thereupon touched him on the arm and said viciously, "If you were my husband I'd poison you." Jupp took an appraising survey of the angular one, and with a resigned expression said, "Yes, madam, and I"d let yer do it."