ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 213, 8 September 1923, Page 18

ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

"WOT CHEB!" I The death of the famous English ' comedian Albert Chevalier, whose full Christian names were Albert Onesime Britannicus Gwathveoed Louis, has re- : vived the fact that the Queen greatly admired his coster songe—and used to sing them. Albert Chevalier had been singing at a charity matinee, and in writing to thank him Lord Knutsford wrote: " Princess May eings your songs. She sent mc down to ask you for 'Wot Cher?' but I explained that, it was quite impossible." FI.AYING THE KING. A little story that Henry Ainley told (says "The Bystander") between the acts of "Oliver Cromwell": In a certain j important town in the Middle West of | America a well-known English actor , played Hamlet with his brother as _ the King. Next morning, one of the critics wrote that "Mr.. played the King as though he expected at any moment his brother would put the ace on him." I was greatly intrigued to know the I names of the actors in question, but Ainley smiled his enigmatic emile —cvi- I dently a case of "No names, no pack drill." A VERY FAMOUS "SHOWMAN." The late Lord Bryce, the famous ambassador, scientist and publicist, came to Auckland some years ago, and although he was given a civic reception, few people seemed to know how extremely eminent was the aged gentleman who 'looked beneath the rugged penthouse of his brows." A short time previously a foreign showman, whose speciality was throwing tons about and expanding his wonderful muscles in the glare of the limelight, j had been aleo given a civic reception, so lit -was not surprising that one anxious inquirer should have asked "What show is the old gentleman bringing to Auckland?" FARES PLEASE ! During the war, in New Zealand as elsewhere, it was unusual to see soldiers in" any uniform but field service khaki. But an extremely 'highly placed officer did on occasion wear a iblue uniform. He got on a street car and, finding it was full inside, stood on the rear platform. A little old lady got on at a Stopping-place and, quite una;ware that a general confronted her, murmured, j "Two sections, please!" thrusting the j requisite pence in lias hand. What the general said ihae never appeared i n print. MY SON— MY BOY! Napoleon was a hero to his \-alet. St. Denis says: — The Emperor had a really kind heart and was capable of a strong attachment. In his household at St. Helena he was an excellent father of a family in the midst of his children. His bad humour never lasted long; it disappeared a short time after it had shown itself. If he was in the wrong, he would soon come and pull the ear of the one on whom his anger had fallen, or give him a slap on the back. After saying a few words relating to his irritation he would lavish the most agreeable expressions on him— : "My son—my boy—my child." What would not one do for such a man, for | euch a master? FUNERAZ. EXPENSES. Earl Russell, in «'My Life and Adventures" recalls a visit to Marseilles in 1887:— j "Walking home about midnight we used to walk carefully in the middle of the street, while I kept my revolver handy; this was on the advice of oH Pognano (a French engineering i He said that in the quarter near the ' harbour there were any number of people who would cut your throat or knife you for 10 francs, and his instructions were quite simple and direct"Walk in the middle of the street if any man sidles up to you or offers to ask a question, bid him keep his distance; if he doesn't, shoot him dead' I suggested that this method, however desirable, was perhaps a little drastic for I civilised countries. 'Oh, no,' cheerily replied old Pognano, 'you just leave vouV card on his body, and all the police' will worry you for is to pay the expenses of the funeral.'" MY WORD, HE "AMBLES!" Mr. R. J. Seddon, the great New Zealand Premier, was an excellent horseman, and on being advised by his doctors to take plenty of horseback exercise his friends and admirers made a! present to him of a stout black cob ' well up to the Premier's weight on ' which he used when possible to' ride daily round the Queen's Drive Wei- 1 1 lington. ' But it was Lord Kitchener who die- < covered a rare quality in Mr. Seddon's i horse. While tho great field-marshal ! , was conducting military field man- ! oeuyres m the vicinity of Wellington he had a local temporary staff, amon<r whom was the late Captain R J s" Seddon (killed in action in France). Captain Seddon was 'his ' father's horse, and Lord Kitchener his ' eyes roving over officers and mounts ' said suddenly, pointing to the Pto' : mier's horse, 'Til ride him." Captain ' Seddon handed over the horse, and ' when Lord Kitchener was mounted he 1 trotted out a little way, wheeled and { came back on the run, chuckling "My word, he ambles!" a pace not hitherto • discovered by either the Premier or his ' son. TOO GOOD TO BE TRITE. j W. S. Gilbert was never vapid either t or M > Te < tor Pera perßOnal oc °upation, c An undersized actor was summed up ! as a p>ll, not a man," and a hot-temper-ed little suburban he described as "-> testy bald," a phraee familiar in adver- ' tisements of theatrical wigs. There n, uncomplimentary discussion of a matron " of too ample proportions, when Gilberr put in, tolerantly, "After all. she's quite * nice, only I prefer a woman to be as W \ as she is broad." He invariably had \ lady on each side at dinner at his O wn . house, and once, when swrounded by quite a bevy, he was asked why h e wo l j inconstant, answering urbanely, "Because. I am too good to be true." " | Looking on at a dance, with an « t pression of intense boredom he w, r. ironically questioned whither he w«t t enjoying himself. «jr o t at all," was tL " re.io.nder. "For every boy «-ith an eve brow on the upper lip takes the p aß of t mc here." l vi j He announced that hie horses were * Bryant ami May-the perfect match f When a fussy female exclaimed- i, William. Sir Willi.™, there's a wasp on your sleeve—you will be stunf" Ir " looked up unmoved. "I have r , lo ea t j opmion of the intellect of the insect s but it is not such a fool as to t«t»' t mc for a flower." . . to t