ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

Auckland Star, Volume LIV, Issue 185, 4 August 1923, Page 18

ANECDOTES AND STORIES.

WELL-BEHAVED CHORISTER, i The late Lord Alverstone when At-torney-General sang in the choir o* Kensington Parish Church: — "One Sunday morning an American lady entered Kensington Parish Church, bent upon seeing the then AttorneyGeneral in the choir. As a preliminary she drew the verger aside and whisperingly asked him to point out the great man, but the church official was unimpressed. , " 'You see, ma'am, , he eaid, there a mc and the vicar, 'but as for the choir, well, as long as they behave themselves we make no inquiries as to their antecedents.' " THAT PREHISTORIC JOKE. Although Lord Russell, of Killowen, waa not a judicial humorist, he is i credited with a few witticisms: — "The best is his answer to a question from a distinguished counsel who asked what the heaviest penalty for bigamy was. " 'Two mothers-in-law, , eaid Russell, promptly. "On another occasion he was listening patiently to a long-winded address which an excited prisoner was delivering, the purport of his remarks being to prove that he was an injured innocent. Lord "Russell gave him every attention, but happening not to catch the last few words, he eaid, "What wae your last sentence V " 'Six months' hard, my lord,' was the unexpected reply." AN "ASPIRATE ,, FOR OFFICE. A story about the famous judge Sir Henry Hawkins relates to the conferment of a peerage on him by Queen Victoria: "There was a more or less informal gathering of relations at the ex-judge's house to discuss the important question as to what title he should assume. His own inclination was to keep his name— the name which he had made famous— and he would have done so had not a fiiend remarked: — " 'Call yourself Lord 'Awkina of Itchin, 'Erts? Why, there's not a Cockney who'll be able to pronounce your new name correctly. , "That settled it, and the title of Lord Brampton wae chosen, and in his new disguise he lived until 1907. But no one ever thought of him as Lord Brampton." POLITICAL lITDECISIOW. When Pitt was Premier he offered Charles Townshend. then PaymasterGeneral, the Chancellorship of the Exchequer, and give him twelve hours to decide—the Pay Office at £7000 a year or the Treasury at £2700. Townshend's indecision was painful. He spent the time receiving advising friends, and the accepted the Chancellorship. This done, he at once repented, and asked permission to change his mind. The wish was granted, but two d»ye later he again aeked Pitt for the Treasury post. . Pitt refused, and Townshend hastened to the King to ask, hut on the way he again changed his mind. Then be turned again to his original derision. With the help of the Duke of Grafton he pleaded euccewfully; and was gazetted Chancellor of the Exchequer before he had time to draw back! MURDERER'S VAWITY. Percy Lefroy, who murdered a rich old mcrch-"t on the Brighton train, was probably the vainest murderer who ever appeared in the dock:— "When the police superintendent asked him if he required anything specially for hia trial, he answered: 'I wish you'd let mc have the pawn-picket for «ny dress-clothes, as I would like to redeem them and wear them in court.! Denied this, he devoted himself to the sole remaining proof of his gentility, a silk hat, and throughout the trial he took particular care of it, and when the Attorney-General way pressing the facts which were to hang him the murdered srtxeely paid any attention, giving all his time to the safety and well-being of his hat." In Madame Tussaud's "Clamber of Horrors" gruesome interest is taken not only hi the revolver—-an old-fashioned pin-fire—with which Lefroy shot his victim, but in hu, actual clothes and his thin asectic features than in the effigy. The hat ua, precisely the kind of hard "bowler" Eeen m Auckland to-day. THE COMPLETE OXFORD. Lord Chief .Justice Coleridge was fond of making speeches, and in his anxiety to be all things to all men he was occasionally a trifle too unctuous: "A specimen of his style and of his manner is afforded by his speech when responding for the University of Oxford at a banquet given to celebrate the opening of * new college hall. Archbishop Tait had responded for BaUJoi College, and Lord Chief Justice Cole-' ■ ridge, speaking for the university said jin the couree of his remarks— " lnf"J h % m ° St reverend Prelate, in spite ?ni) f, r ,nore exalted Potion and .iniuntely superior eloquence, has «,, this memorable occasion only been called upon to respond for a part, while I in every respect his inferior, who cannot : claim to excel in ,a single one of "he accomplishments with which he is £ lavishly endowed, I, mv loT fe * " : rt , Vi"* h,m ft little tin »e to underensued - C rPaS ° n fOf the ****** S^ MR. SE l> DON'S MXCTAKE. lander, had a remarkable memory fnr of the Bouse, they were standing group .t the top of the lobby aJaitin^ ! the f «> m '"S of the Premier 7* !hf feing ate. He liked the audit t ;be in breathless expectation n ,he said, "glad to see you Ww '*' . STtTNG.