0, WOMAN!

Auckland Star, Volume LII, Issue 25, 29 January 1921, Page 13

0, WOMAN!

(By HERBERT A. TBU>HA"U.)

'*O, Woman! Jn oar htmrs of—ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to—please; When pain and anguish wring tb«—brow, Administering ange! chou"' The psxiees may !be considered to mar tie effect of the poem (try them yo«rr•eH), bat, at school, they were adjusted to act as breaks and brakes, to prevent us—in our delirious desire fro pet it over and done with—from telescoping all the worde, .particularly those at the end of a line. Aβ a boy. I used to wonder wh»t the "O" in front of "woman" was for, and why the poet did not commence hie uddrees with 'Woman!" instead of with a eoxt of [cry. I married one of tfhe dearest of women; I am the father of another, and I bave in a quarter of a century admixed, desired, and sighed for many. I have had to say "O, woman!" co many times, and for co many reasons—mostly good ones—ithat, now, I understand tJve posVe 'beginning. For tiha last twenty years I have been "the watcher on the bfll," noting the changes in character, fashion, and behaviour of those of "the ofher" sex, and a report—the first in 1 twenty yean—may, perhaps, be forgiven.

I commence fry stating that Jore ie, to mc, a etvered -word. It hofcls in its fore eoft-sonnding tetters co much of the meaning of life and happiness, and it seems to mc a link but v. ecu t'ua past end the present; the present and the future; the human and 'the spiritual. It <iza]ts, emioblee, and develops whatever is beet in either sex, and remains the same—is constant in its effects— throughout the ages.

Aβ an old sentimentalist, I bay« observed as the years Jiave passed (I may l>e wrong, for age dims the eight) that young women nave been efowly 'but surely losing their hold on love, losing the one thing in life whioh comes co near, co very near, an explanation of it. The lone of a mother for her child ie mostly proportionate to the love ehe hae—or had —for tho father of it. or for what ehe imagined hhn, believed i huia, ifeo !», and year after year, long before the war and all war's confusing rewilts, the- number of 'little unwantede" 'has steadily increased. I tun not refeiiing in any way to the "unmarried mother," but to married women ■who are prepared to part with their ibatues, will pay strangers to take them. You remember how King Solomon decided between ttie Ttvai claimante to the living diild? Wba* would he do in like case, with two mothers^—modern motiiere —fboth alike indifferent tn motfcerhood? What can "be wrong that maternal love should 'lose its Hβ deqp, heart-gripping power? Bat one ey-mptem of eomotJhing amiss. A cold'heaTted mother must have made a mistake edne-where. Did she love her busbaml? Admiration; affection; liking; mere physical attraction in certain errcumstarwes or surroundrnge; all these are no jwst warrant for life union and the joint care of children. Did ehe LOVE ■her fouESba-nd! Could ene thanlc God for giving her this man? Was he —to her — the one and only man to whom sheeotrid confide herself with absolute abandonment, : n absolute corrfidence and safety? •Remember! "Those wham God hath joined together in holy matrimony." Had shn fatten snort of this, and attempted to build a home upon the. quicksands of temporary convenience,! which nothing can possibly convert into, the rock of human and spiritual security? Ido not think it possible for a truly loving wife to 'be lacking in maternal love, although the converse is common enough, for every woman possesses something of the natural instrmrt, perverted though it may become. The number of children orphaned before; 'birth—so to speak—is evidence of error or loss. Nature has been cheated some-j how.

Of course the world ie better than it was. The good woman (When you meet J her) is ma good ac ever; tfto baxi women; ia— m tad as ahc knows how.. W« have! had these two eiocc the dawn of history, ', «nd they vary—in degree—-very little,! but the great crowd of betwixt and be-j rweens—noittier very good, nor very bad—are oort undoubtedly rnnJh better to-dey than they wero fifty years ago, more independent, more intelligent, ; more reasonable, but they have loot as \ well tie gained. They -have lost the simple faith in conscience as a guide to cowhjet, and the old fearlessness of public opinion when acting rightly; and, so it aeons to mc, the knowledge of the joys and beauties of pare, derip love. Of all the nrbbiefc that is written about sex matters, and what she, and h^, • and you. and I, and they, and every'•body "should know,"' there is not one word of any value whatever t-o any good i -woman (or man) prepared to follow, and follow only, the teaching of h«r own heart and conscience. Take the meet, beautiful flower which arrows; give ft t-o the botanist, and he will dissect it for you, and tell you that there are bo many petals, so many stamens, the functions of the pistil. 6ti§ma, style. aircfaers, and so on; quite interesting to tire euTKrne, but when it is all over, the flower destroyed, lice in r>rui?ed. pathetic fragments; all its freshness, scent, nnd beauty gone, and you—poor fool, able to prate of its species, class, and structure, but never again will you experience the thrill, the pleasure, and delight that (ignorant aa you were of botany) the flower conld give yon. To poets only is it poß» : ib]e to have their feet on common clay, and yet float in spirit through the clonde. Once we get down into the clay, we stick there; live there; die there. Kvery woman has her ideal, also instinct, and, let ns hope, a desire io be really happy. Hunted happiness is never caught. You may (find its lair, still warm perhaps, but that is as near as you wiß ever get, but wait, let ba.ppine.ss come to you, wish for it, ask for it, ■watch for it, and k>! here it is nt your gate, and then, wonderful indeed is the 'reward of faith and patience. Yes. they are cold, th«se girls of today. Self centred, eeffteb, self satisfied;! either ind ; ffere.nt, or obviously demand-1 ing attention. Whose? Anybody's.! Pretty, well dressed, attractive, charm- j inp companions; but ! too calculating, tooj coneciooe of power, too aesrared in super-' fkiad knwledg*, to be comforting, eooth-i ing, heart to heart mates "until death."l The dominating look in a woman's eye! daunte any man of sense. A man's} admiratron and attentron arc easily! gained—eport for anything in petti-' coats; but his respect and love arc! harder to win—eport worthy of Diana | Tierseif. It ie in the sporting period that! love has ite ferarorous aspect, and only j then. At all other times it is as serious ac •bea-utrfu'l. Laughter and tears are both of love's armoury, bat tears are ever near fSie eurface where emotion is deep, and Jove's laughter has a queer haunting 13t of eadnesa in it, perhaps 'because, sic transit gloria mnndi. In gaining freedom, independence, and sex eqnality (-which rast is impossible) ! the girls hive discarded much, but love! must be reinstated, if homes are to be happy, divorces lessened, and children i born into something more •welcoming than the where-stoall-T-put-it-out-to- j nurse world. "Oh, trat I want to have a real good time." Yes, Hiss, and so you may, if you are content with a second rate' •happiness, and paying more than full price for Tt afterward*, but my ideas cannot appeal to those who are satisfied with superficial amusements, with dances, excursions, picnics, and choco) lates as tihe whole gospel of life —and I love. ; Drees! By all means. Look your I best and sweetest alway?. Good girls! arc not dowdy, only the stupid ones whoj think that dowdiness is goodness, j Neglected personal appearance does not indicate spiritual clarity and orderliness. But eet your face against sham, both in drees and conduct. Camouflage, is quite penniseaJble in war, for insincerity often

can 2>e met only by insincerity. You cannot go ttorcrugh life slapping the fane of every impertinent boy •who pretend*-— anything; bat, •peaking generally, truth pays the highest dividends.

There is never any secrecy about a nwn genuinely ia love. It chinee dboot him like a halo. Wihen 1 see a e\y lover, I always hope for his speedy punishment. Ho is ahwaye a bad lot. Be gentlo with the ahy lover. His ie a terrible afflirtron. Scorned by his own ccx, and diecoTireged by the other, there is no place under heaven offering refuge. The remedy is in Ttnrr hands, M»e. Select hie best point, and praise it, be it only the colour of hie tic. No woman can pkrmb the depths of a shy man's abaeemeotHave yon ever wondered what kind of grossly practical woman advertises for a hnisband? I have taken- emnc trouble to ascertain, and 1 don't advise any woman to join the odious procession, but tbcTO is sometimes a very rea.l call of distress, a kind of matrimonial S.Oiv in an advertisement for a wife. It is as if the man said, 1, 1 have searched everywhere, and found- —-well, look around, and you will see for youreelf. Suroly, somewhere, there is a gentle, quiet! homely, title woman, who lovon children, and does not think domestic dr-ties out-of-date drudgery, or the care of a husband an unreasonable unwomanly burden!" It if, in itself, some evidence' of What I have already stated. Tho bandage ronnd Love's eyes was tigit. His aim was swift and sure; Hp pierred n maiden's tieart right through. The man beside was—poor! The maiden wrenrned the arrow ont. And t-nrew it bnrk to Cupid; ■•You Billy little thing." said she, "How can you i>e so stnpid.' ' Love took another arrow op. His shot was quick and fair; He Btmck the he.irL, and joined it to A chocolate eclair.