THE STORYTELLER.

Auckland Star, Volume XLIV, Issue 77, 1 April 1913, Page 7

THE STORYTELLER.

IMPROVEMENT-

The father, anxious to impress his offspring with a spirit of thankfulness, repeated at the supper-table, as he iiad often done before: " Remember, children, when I was—a boy 1 often went tc bed hungry, and seldom had a square meal." " Well, that shows how much better off you are since you have known us," replied little Willie, who was tired of hearing about il.

WHY HE CRIED,

It was a mixed party, and when the lights were lowered for the old-fash-ioned "snapdragon" young Binks managed to edge closer to the goldenhaired maiden he adored. >

There was a three minute scramble and when the lights went up tliere arose a howl of disappointment from one of the young lads who happened to be near our friend Binks.

"What's the matter, Willie?" inquired the hostess. "Didn't you get any?"

"Didn't get the chance," bellowed the boy. "Soon as it st-started that fellow with, the eye-glasses c-collared bold of my hand, and d-didn't leave off kisskissing it till the g-gas was on again!"

BAR ANECDOTES

The remark made on a prolix Scotch counsel, when some one observed that he was "surely wasting a great deal of time," is among the wittiest of bar anecdotes: "Time! He has long exhausted time, and has encroached upon eternity!" It is seldom, to do the judges justice, Ibat they encourage this failing in counsel; but in Coc—urn's "Memoirs" we are told how a dull commonplace advocate was -almost frightened out of his wits by an observation of Lord Meadowbank (who thought his style undignified) : "Declaim, sir; why don't you declaim? Speak.to mc as if I were a popular assembly."