HE WAS THERE ON BUSINESS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 249, 17 October 1908, Page 13

HE WAS THERE ON BUSINESS.

(ISy MAX ADELER.) Judge ritninn. one day, while walking down Hie street, observed our coroner, Barney Maginn, standing in fruut of a lager beer saloon, fvi.li-iitly iv n condition of expectancy concerning something thai was going >/ii within, for every minute or uvo ho would peep through the window. The judge accosted him, auvl this conversation followed:— Judge: "Going down the street, Magiuu?" Coroner: 'Nol .vet a bit." ' Juilire: "What nru you wailing for;" Coroner: "Never you mind," Judge: -A friend inside. , ;" Coroner: "N-ii mi!" .ludfte: "AnythiUK upV" (,'oruupr: "Well, no; but something's gettint.' ready to b(! up." Judge: "Vorpsc in there?" I'oroner: "Well, not exactly, but I'm hopeful one soon will be." Judge: "Hopeful: Why, what do you mean?" I'uruoer: "Judge, there's a man in there who has bet he can drink sixty glasses of j lager in sixty niiuutes. and he's on his thirty-seventh glass now. He's jfolna to wiu that bet. judge, and then he'll bo ready for mc to sei on. I'm laying around till he caves and goes under. Won't you wait and go on the jury?" The Judge waited, and. in half an hour, the man came out with the stakes in his porkct. and looking as if ) )0 would live for a hundred years. As he reached the pavement, he said: "CJood mornin', Barney, and judge. Fine weather for (he crops." and then passed on up the street, unsuspicious of the designs' of Mr Maginn. As he left, the coroner, scowled, and. shaking his list at the retreating absorber of malt liquor ho exclaimed: "You chuckle-headed, beer-guzzling tur- j key buzzard! To go back on mc that way!. You wall-eyed Dutch idiot, if I had my , rights, instead of you parading around the streets that way you'd be laid out ou a slab with the doctor groping inside you. and a jury of honest men considering n verdict. But it's always the way I'm treated. I'll fix you next time if 1 have to put bug poison in the beer." Then Barney left, disconsolate.

Pars about Notabilities. Mrs. Evelyn Thaw has been admitted to a private sanatorium near New York under the name of " Mrs. FitzgeraldL" Her health is completely broken and her nerves are* shattered. It is untrue, says a United Press telegram, that she has not suffered by her husband's bankruptcy. Her allowance has been cut off, and personal friends are paying her expenses. Mine. Hofher, the buxom, cantiniere who not long ago won £40,000 in a State authorised! lottery, has, says a Paris correspondent, been married to a young lieutenant of the garrison to which she was attached. The ex-cantiniere says she has received about 5000 marriage proposais since the news of her windfall v, as announced in the Press. A somewhat daring exploit is credited to two young English ladies by a Paris contemporary. It seems that when King Alfonso was crossing from Boulogne on the Onward, ho was in his cabin chatting with Major Stevens. The two girls passed thp window and thrust through the opening two picture postcards oi the King, and asked His Majesty for his signature. The King signed the cards with good grace, and these Dianas of the autograph went on their way rejoicing. The leader of the Young Turks, who are now in such great power in Turkey, is Prince Sabaheddfine, a nephew of the Sultan, who is in exile at present in Paris. The Prince i> seen almost every day in the company of a beautiful American woman of excellent family, who, it is said, may one day be the first lady in Turkey. Th<> Prince, who is highly patriotic, is the centre of a circle of highly intellectual young Turkish men, who, like himself, have suffered from the tyranny of his Government, and would make an ijeal ruler of the Turkish Republic. It is reported' from Bucharest that the condition of King Carol is causing great uneasiness. A.s His Majesty is 70 years of ago, and is suffering from an incurable malady, there is grave reason for apprehension. King Carol, of course, is the husband of "Carmen Sylva," and as they have no children the heir to the throne is Prince Ferdinand, nephew of the present King. Ho. it is said, is in the last stages of consumption, and there is every probability that before long a high-spi-rited nation may have an inexperienced youth for its ruler, Prince Ferdinand eldest son, Prince Carol, beiDg only fifteen. Miss Rose L. Fritz, of New York, is a remarkable lady typist, and is the holder of a massive silver cup and the championship of the world. At the contest in Madison Square Garden, New York, Miss Fritz wrote 0(119 words in one hour. which included SI errors. These were penalised five words each, leaving 5214 words net. an average ratp of 87 words per minute. For half an hovr Miss Fritz has written 97 words per minute, excluding errors. This is a very fine performance, as 40 worns a minute is good typing for an average performer. Probatfe was on Saturday. August 8, granted out of the Principal Probate Rejgistry of the will of Frederick Arthur. ' sixteenth Karl of Derby, who died on I Juno 14. aged 07. The gross val:ie of his own estate is £917.350. including personal estate of the net value of £752,- ---[ 110. This valuation docs not include the i settled estate which passed in consequence of the death of the late F.arl, and .the value of which will prnlxiblv be as'isessisl at .L-L\7. r >o.ooo. The (loath duties I on such an estate will amount to roughly half a miliun sterling. Following the fashion of noble houses I in Europe the members of the Rockefeller I family have just hold at Albany an annual family reunian. It is commonly supi posed that the Rockefellers are of humble J origin. The father of Mr. John D. Rockei feller, the richest man in tho world, was 1 j stated to bo an itinerant horse doctor. I Anxious apparently to discover a social 'antidote for this stain on their escutchtho family some time ago engaged I . tho services of an expert genealogist, whose laborious researches unearthed the , gratifying fact. announced some , weeks Ego, that tho Rockefellers deI soeiidod from a baronial family in the . south of France, i 1 Horr Schwarz is dead 1 . The announceI ment may not moan much until it is ex- '' plained that Schwarz is held to bo the .; real inventor of picture postcards. There j • j are several claimants to the distinction, (but it is adduced <>" behalf of Scliwarz I that ho first wont to the postal authori■j ties in Germany and suggested that views of tho Rhino,' Black Forest, and other features of the fatherland should bo transferred by a simple process to post- | cards, which would be accepted for transmission at ordinary rates. Coincident with tho mows of tho demise of Schwarz is the development of the anti-picture I postcard campaign in England amli the . I picture postcard crisis in Franco. It appears the market has boon flooded with illustrator! postcards which, while not ex- • aclly indecent, arc sufficiently inrleeorous : or suggestive to call for repression. Sir Frederick Paul Haine-s, G.C.8., n.CJ.B., the oldest Field-Marshal in tho British Army, recently entered his ninetieth year. This venerable officer, who despite his: groat age. is in (lie enjoyment of wcndcrful health, joined the Army within two years of tho accession of tho late. Queen Victoria, and. in addition to serving in the Sutlej. Crimean, and Afghanistan campaign, has hold tho positions of military secretary to tho 'Commander-in-C hief in India. Comman-dor-in-Chief of thp Madras Army, and finally Comma ndorinChief of the Indian Army. He received his baton in tho year 18SI0, or 15 years after a similar honour was bestowed by the late Queen upon the King when Prince of Wales. A familiar figure in Pall Mall, where he resides. Sir Frederick spends most of his time in his club, the CJnited Service. While tho stories recently published to the effect that Don Carlos, the legitimist pretender to the throne of Spain, was dying and (hat his demise was momentarily expected, turn out to be untrue, yet the fact remains that ho is ill, afflicted with an incurable malady, cancer of the stomach, which is bound ore long to brine his life to a close. Although ! only 00 years of age, ho has of late become such a physical wreck that few of those who recall him as n superb specimen of physical manhood, of most imj poking height and build, and of regal bearing, would recognise him in the I broken invalid which he is to-day. While j he is thus precluded from ever taking | the field again to win the crown of Spain.; his death is not sufficiently near at hand | to render necessary the presence of his children at his bedside, and his only son, Don Jaime, is just at 'present at St. Jean de Luz, on the French side of the \ LSpmish fr.tntfrr., f-cuntn«iHcai*nz ciiSt W*'.'

numerous adherents in Spain, while his favourite daughter, Archduchess Blanche, wife of Archduke Leopold Salvator, is i with her husband at her country place near Vienna. King Alj>honso had a little chance encounter on a Sunday some weeks ago ! which, as he has a lively sense of humour. ' must have given his Majesty occasion to j chuckle somewhat. He was at St. Sebastian, a convenient pivot for those motor I excursions into French territory which I he delights in. Coming back to Biarritz the royal motor must needs break down, and the King did the rest of the journey in a car. As he started again for home, when the repairs were completed, whom should he pass in the Place, also just ( about to start in the same direction, but the present Carlist t Pretender, Don .layme! Don Jayme is at present staying 3 on the frontier at St. Jean de Luz. So ] far the two cars followed the same route, j but the one reached Miramar without , seeing anything more of the other. It is, ( by the way, a poor compliment to refer ' to Don Carlos, whose serious illness at ' MUan is announced, as the claimant to the Spanish throne. His claims vanished into thin air as Don Alfonso approached > manhood, and the birth of two sons to '■ the King of Spain has more effectually ' disposed of his pretensions. His natural ■ indolence has also helped. The last few | yesirs he has spent at Venice, where his i gondola, with a favourite bulldog sitting ' in the prow, is a favourite sight in the Grand Canal. He has represented a losing cause for many years, and a man at , his age does not readily assimilate new ; hopes and aspirations. Louis Berrille, born at Boulogne, was , nowhere to be found last year when the ~ authorities wanted him for four months' > military service, which he still owes his country, and he was accordingly put down as a deserter. But it was not for ' lack of love of wars and arms that he ' had absconded. During the Morocco : campaign lately a trooper of the Foreign ' Legion named Demayer showed conspicuous bravery. In one engagement his cor- ', poral was captured by the Moors, some of whom were making every preparation to put him to deatli by slow torture. ' While a few were thus amiably engaged, ' the main body was pouring a rain of bullets on the French force. Demayer ran forward under the heavy fire, rescued the corporal, who was wounded, and ran back, half carrying him to the French lines. He was gazetted for his gallant ' ■conduct, and afterwards received the military medal, which is the French equivalent of the Victoria Cross. Demayer. who had also been wounded, wa3 invalided home, and in the militar}' hospital he revealed to a fellow soldier that > his real name was Berville, and the friend : promptly gave him away. Berville, the dp.sprtcr, has been brought back to Dunkirk, whore he was originally wanted for his final four months of military servif", and will he courtmartialled. But his colonel has not put him in irons, and ' it seems probable that the conrtmartial. when the gallant trooper appears to answer the charge of desertion, will not be held upon him. The fact of the matter seems to be that Berville had soldierins so much in his blood that he fcund the make-believe of war in peace time too tame, and preferred life with the Foreign Legion in Morocco, where he got the real thing and plenty of it.