JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIX, Issue 249, 17 October 1908, Page 13

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY.

The best dofini.-hun I kan give ov happiness iz to have all our reasonable wants gratified. About the only advantage an idle man haz over a dead one, iz in the phuneral expenses. I kant help but respokt enny man who hasn't enny failings, but 1 kant luv him: he iz too good for mc. Vtrlew without knolledge is like a vino with nothing to klimb. It Uikcs gciud breeding to make even virtcw agriH-able. I hay .-ecu honesty .-« blunt that it wns disgusting. Wit surprizes us. and we never la.fi when we are surprised; it iz buffoonery ov sum kind tlv.U makes v, latT. The srntU' sekret ov popularity* iz to rrKlKo even , one satisfied with himself first, and afterwards satisfied with yu. There iz no doubt that a eonipetenev is mor- comfortable than a .superfluity: but in fix the amount ( ,v the competency iz jiwt what's (he mutter. l.iii- is n curious mixtur; it iz made up (iv jealousys and doubts, pouting lips -and weeping eyes, squabbles and rtfokonciiint roii>, .-.harp, cunning and abjeckt blindness, purity and sin, fond hopes and tantali/.ing fear, and a thousand other ingredients besides; fur more particulars watch envy two lovers. Luxury leads to vice, vice leads to poverty, and thousands there be who liie it out on this line. Hope ; .s perennial: it thrives on rebukes disappointments and vicissitudes ov all kind.-, and iz ever ready to lend us a helping lmnd. Alan di.spizes the spotted tu<l. sticks up his: noze at the varigated katerpillar, mips fur well-fed mice, murders the festive fly, worry* the pensive kokruach, and tri-ds on the bizzy ant hills; and vet t-niiv one ov them is more honest ami loss revengeful! than he iz.