MERRIER MOMENTS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXXIV, Issue 3, 3 January 1903, Page 2 (Supplement)

MERRIER MOMENTS.

Never doubt a girl's veracity when she haya she can't sing. It's ten to one she can't.

"How can one become a fluent conversationalist?" "The best way is to be born a woman."

Only a physician of long experience knows what to do when there is no occasion for doing anything,

"They are going to start a French magazine devoted to aeronauts, ,, . "fTinted Oμ fly papery of course?"

When in riding the lady takes tKfe xeins from the gentleman, it is in% deed a stupid man who cannot take the hint.

"I know now," remarked the young who was sued .for breach of "why they call it 'courting. , " ;.

1 "When you have leisure," said a caller to an editor 4 "I'd like to speak to you." "All right; come in aftpr I'm dead."

A woman was complaining to a neighbour about pains in her lower extremities, and on the neighbour sympathetically inquiring the cause she replied, "Oh, it's just thae haricot veins."

Hard Either Way.—"lt must, be horrible to be buried alive!" "WeU, it's no joke to be buried dead either,"

"Tommy, spell deer." ■■:•} "Does yer mean deer, an animal* or dear, a girl?"

A little Willie, I« hope you never do anything so wicked as to tie cans to dogs' tails.. Willie: No'm. I never do nothin' but hold the dog. • . ■ ; .'■■•. I;

JtfoGinnis: That's moighty fpiiw whisky, Pat. How ow}d is it?

Pat (pouring the last drops into his glass); Faith, Oi don't know; but it's ez owld ez it will iver bel

Fond Parent; I. cannot interfere, Bobby. Your teacher writes me that she thrashed you on principle. • Bobby: Well, she didnH.,. Don'jt you think I know where "she Jiurt me? . ",

Cobwigger: It was rather hard having your watch taken out of your pocket. Impecune:. I should say so. It was stolen' when I was on my way to pawn it.

Tailor (to mother who is buying a suit for her boy): Do you want the shoulders padded? Little Boy: No, mamma; tell him to pad the knickerbockers.