A Lesson in Fiction.

Auckland Star, Volume XXII, Issue 139, 13 June 1891, Page 3 (Supplement)

A Lesson in Fiction.

Scene, bhe library of an eminenb novelist, who is cerbain the arb of fiction can be taughb bo bhe young, and has started a class to prove ib. Characters, bhe eminenb novelisb and half a dozen youbliful pupils. The Masber: Yesberday, I bhink, we were occupied wibh a considerabion of those twin subjects, Observation and Invention ; and I promised to-day to give you an opportunity of showing whether you could turn my remarks to artistic account. Have you, Bobby, observed anything in your home life of late that seemed of professional value ? Bobby: Nob much, I-admit ; bub bhe reason, I fancy, lios wibbin myself. I confess thab bhe Romantic method interests me more than thab of the Realist (so called), and, as you told us recently, it is bhe Romancisb wdio, speaking generally, invents, while bhe Realisb observes. Jacky is a Realisb, and I believe he has something of interest to communicate in answer to your question. Jacky : Quite so. My ma and pa are really an inberesting couple, and I have been sbudying bhem of lato, nob wibhout benofib. I have conceived bhe idea of writing a novel aboub pa and ma. The Master : Realistic, I presume ? Jacky : In tho main, photographically realistic ; though I would not have it supposed that 1 altogebher despise invention and imagination—terms which, I am afraid, we are all inclined to use somewhat loosely. Ib struck me soon after I joined your class thab the daily (shall we say humdrum ?) life of a middle-class couple, neither interesting nor handaomo, had never been troabed in ficbion wibh the accuracy and at the length so unattractive a subject deserves. No doubt the fact of my pa and ma being such a couple, and thus giving me admirable opportunities for pains - taking study, was one reason why I decided to select this subjoct. The Master : I follow you. What is the outcome of your observation so far '_ Jacky : My observations, which hava to be conducted privately and with an arb bhab no K,ealist loves to employ, are nob yeb complete ; but they havo already convinced me bhab ma's pebbishness and pa's fibs of brubal passion (followed by sullen depression) are due to the unlovely life led by us in a dull London suburb. I want, indeed, to show, by pa and ma's' case, that most of us aro the victims of our surroundings. Tho Master : Ib is a capital subject. As I understand, your father and mother do nob know that you are sbudying bhem for artistic purposes ? Jacky :No ; if they knew they would wallop me. Their sensitiveness to criticism is deeply interesting, bub has to bo respected. The Master : Mention some incident you have observed in bhe life of your father and mother, and tell me in a few r well-cho.en words how you propose to treat it. Jacky : I was an amused yet thoughtful onlooker at a little domestic disturbance lately, which seemed to me to shed a vivid light on the characters of my pa and ma. There is a screen in ma's room, and pa can't go round it without knocking it down, but he would nob mind bhab if ma did nob show hitn how bo pass bhe screen wibhoub bouching ib. Her lesson the other morning annoyed,rhim so much that he went off to the office shouting that he wished he had married Susan Robins. Then, when he camo back in the evening ma was very shift and would eat no dinner, though we had oysters bhab day. Pa prebended not to know why she was sulky, bub nexb morning she wouldn'b oat any breakfasb; and then ho grew frighbenod aboub her healbh and said thab he had always detested Susan Robins. So they made it up; but nob until I had got material for two chapters, to be called, respectively, ' Tho Rift within bhe Lube ' and 'They Kissed Again with Tears.' I mean to lay stress upon ma's childishness, which to the dispassionate observer is the more culpable for tbis reason—thab she has long passed the ago when sentimentality is to be pardoned in a woman. And incidentally I will have some biting remarks on the tendency of tho other sex to dress and behave generally as if they wore twenty when they are really nearly forty. On occasion I refer to, for instance, ma's hair was dressed in too juvenile a fashion, and she usually wears hats when sober bonnets would better fit her age. You are to understand, of course, that, despite bhese follies bo which she is prone, I would nob have her altered, as they make her a more engrossing study of the average suburban matron.

The Master: Excellently answered, Jacky. And now, how do you propose bo treat your father? Jacky : If I had to reply in a word, I should say, as a money-grubber. I have given a good deal of attention to his face, and feel convinced that the flabby chin, the coarse nose, and the heavy under-lip are the resulb of voluptuous methods of living, which, again, is due to his sordid love of money. Wearied with hia office work, he flies to indiscriminate eating and drinking for relief, and thus the mark of tbe beast gets into his face. The Master : I can see, Jacky, that tbe character is worthy of the artistic study you have devoted to it. Yet I hope you have nob forgotten that before he became a money-grubber there must have beon something vicious in his character ; otherwise he would have had nobler ideas.

Jacky : I have followed your instructions on that matter, and (ab considerable risk bo myself) have braced pa's characber some way back. I gabher that as a young man he was weak of purpose, fond of frivolous pleasures, avaricious and given to contemptible displays of temper. This discovery gratified me, I admit, as ib goes some way toward proving my theory that he would not now behave to ma as he does had he been of good characber in his youbh. Dicky : As I, boo, have been sbudying my rolabives of labe for the purposes of fiction, and havo discovered some mosb interesting things to their discredit, I should like to ask Jacky if he succeeded in bracing Susan Robins. Jacky : Well, pa found oub that I had instituted inquiries about Susan Robins, and he pub a stop to bhem in a manner which, bhough painful ab the time, quite confirms my view of his character. I know, however, that ma and pa quarrelled aboub Susan so much bhab ma gave him back tbe engagementring, which he then presented to Susan. Susan would not give ib back bo him afber pa and ma made their quarrel up, so he had to buy another ring. Bobby : As I mean to treat my pa and ma from the romantic standpoint, making • pa a villain, I am curious to Know whether Jacky's Realism will prevent his giving his bale an arbistic end. Sbricbly speaking, of course, he cannob do so, as he is phobographing bhe lives of bwo people who are as yet, one may say, only in bhe middle of bheir second volume. Jacky : My realisbic views do nob proven b my giving the story such an end as I believe my pa and ma will probably have. I propose to make pa embezzle money and then escape to Mon.o Carlo, where ma follows him and dies of want half an hour before he breaks the bank. The Master : A dramatic conclusion. And now, Freddy, tell us how your studies are progressing. I think you said you were to make your father take to drink ? (Left teaching.)

A political orator, speaking of a certain general whom he professed to admire, said that on the field of babble he was always found where bhe bullets were thickest. 'Where was that?' asked one of his auditors. ' Jn the ammunition waggon.' raid another.