CLIPTOMANIA.

Auckland Star, Volume XXVI, Issue 5477, 7 February 1885, Page 5

CLIPTOMANIA.

(WIMIALLY SEUSCTKO (IT OCR LONDOSi wmtKspoNDi::."?.)

'T'vr. ;k> doubt," paid a brother diamatistj " that 1 could write such a book if t tried ; but I'm hanged if I could put my name to it." When a woman becomes so absent-minded rix to forcjet to hold her hand ho that tho I'ght will fall upon her diamond ring, it is safest for her husband to give her a wido berth. She is doing some dangerous thinking. \\ro never feel so like contributing freely to the missionary cause as when we consider what execrable teste the cannibalheattiens must pofsess to get away with .some of the men who were sent out to lead them into a better life.

An old parse n was ono day walking alo'ig ono of tin; stivets of the capital of the Orcades, when bo met a well-known :inker. "Well, John, can you pay the Lord's Pravcr vet?" "Och! inon," said

..'olm, "oveiy in in tae hia trade. Can you maU1 a tin pail?" " Yes," said Gubbinß, with an air of conscious muscularity that would bave dor.o uredit to tho champion heavy-weight, " I (tarried a pick on this railway for three years." "Indeed," queried an ancient nareon sitting opposite, "and did you not md it very Inbourioap, sir?" " Very. It was a tooth-pick." The remains of an African traveller hail been exhumed for interment in the family

rault. When the cofiin was o|j«iH-ii, a naturalist who wn* nrosevit started bark in •illVight. " Why, these appear to Ijo (ho remains of a lion." "Ye.'," replied the «on of deceased with a sigh ; " thal'H tha lion!hut ato him up; father's intlde of him i"

.■. Dublin j.wvcy liftil .'riven an old lady 4 considerable distance, and received tho bare faro. Suid she, "Your horso lookH bad. Is not tlia bit too largo for hia mouth ?" "It ain't the big bib in his mouth, mum," said the cabby, "it's tlio itmall bit in his belly, end —(looking fit the shillinfr)—it doesn't seem as if it'll get much larger." Mr Bailey, an American, who visited England in IS7-J, and afterwards wrote a record of his visit, say« that snails are a i'avourite <lish with tho English, occupying flio position held by oygtera in America, •' .The aspirant for its llesh adroitly introduces a pin into the front door of tho ;min al's habitation, and U comes out to see

what) is up." So for iivo years Mr Bailey has liv od believing periwinkles to be snails. Rector (reads) : " Horde-racing is a favourite pastime of the aristocracy and other blackguards. Jockeys are fed on gin from childhood, to stop thoir growth. 'I he racecourse is v scene of drunkenness, profanity, and vice, ruinous alike to body and .-■oul. Tho next important event is the St. L.egor. The favourite is Ratcatcher, but lather say^ the straight tip is Bluonofc." It may !>o of some interest, perhaps, to !cno«T that the London policeman costs the State ;C:)7 a year ; forty-threo pounds les.--, however, than the cost of the Parisian gendarme. Each London policeman, on an iiverage, arrests seven persons against twenty-nine taken into custody by tho Parisian. Offenders also cost tho State (including those arrested for drunk-ness and trivial misdemeanours) at the rate of—in

London—thirteen pounds par man, and iv I'aris, five, every year. A Portuguese gentleman thus told an unecdoto ye.-terday at the Uulety bar : "A physician, of ago eighty years, had enjoyoil of a heulth unalterable. Theirs Jriends did him of its compliments every <lay. '.Mister Doctor,' say they to him, • you are an admirable man I What you make then for you to bear you as well?' ' 1 .hall tell you it, gentlemen,' he was answered them, * and I exhort you, in samo

lima, at to follow my example, 1 livo of tlio product of my ordering without, take any remedy who I command to my sicks.' " Burglars! ethics aie puzzling. One such was captured red-handed in Pall Mall, and Htruggled for a long timo violently, but afterwards said, "I will act like a man,' nud went quietly. Are little burglars taught by their parents that it is unmanly to resist a police officer '! Or does the want of manliness only come in when the constable proves himself the strongest, and the burglar—if he was not manly—might get hurt? Here is a curious instance oF a hog living a month on its own fat. After having been shut up in a haystack for thirty-three days, where it was accidentally imprisoned by an Ohio farmer, a hog survived, and worked its way ouc on the opposite eido of the stack to that which it enterod, but 181b. lighter. But, after all, this is only whafc hears do in the winter all the world over. In Cashmere, for instancd, a bear goes to sleep in November "as fat an butter," to ylcop in the cave until next April, when ho conies forth a skeleton in a shagcy fur. There is a little fact from a scientific journal that tho sooner our Admiralty soo to tho better: "The electric light when used for searching purposes is subject to tho drawback that in misty weather its rays fail to penetrate the atmosphere so well as ordinary oil or gaslights. Magiio sium light is not open to tho same objection, and is likely to bo used for search purposes in preference to tho arc light as atpresent supplied." Nothing is harder than to "spot" a grey-coloured torpedo launch, advancing with noiseless engines at some twenty knots rate, even ill clew weather.

There has boon considerable talk lately in medical circles in Now York over an alleged successful experiment in the way of a cure for cow>umptioii, which has taken tlie form ot transfusion of blood. Into t!ie veins of a young mail far advanced in the direaso wore transferred four ounces of blood from tho arteries of a healthy youn<>man. Tho action of tho patient's heart was quickened, he rapidly began to jraira Bosh, and his appetite toturned. Another transfusion was made: at the end of throe weeks, followed by a third, with very satis, factory rosult?. The oouipleto recovery of the consumptive patient in now confidently otnactod.

I M. de Losses had a forerunner in mmvo than move- iheory in tho Great Napeloon. In alc-tfjo^ to the Emporor Alexander of liiusia, ho suys: "Tho Suez Canal, which when completed, will connect the ■Indian Ocean with the Mediterranean, is already traced ; it is a work thai, could easily ho accomplished within a short time." Stmnire destiny of fato that .that canal should bo constructed under tho auspices of Napoloon's nephew and be opened by his nop-how-iJ vyife as Empress of the Frenc 1, Stranger still, perhaps, that tho control of jhat canal should pass to pertidioug ail( J hated Albion. The American Presidential campaign has been fought out with personalities we are told, to a degreo undreamt*! of before Here is a picture of Mr Hlaine, acrmrdW to the "New York Tribune." MrßlnihVs skin is almost as whitu as an epj.' perhnns with a touch of pink in it, but the healthy white reminded rae of a new-laid ess His oyes are still of a rich reddish-black colour hko Delawaro grapes or dark currants. II i.v Roman nope.is tko military featuro of his {ace; the brew of the man is placid nmS line and1 comely, tho lower faoimoro flexibleI A lady who had refuwrt to be pliofo-- ■ grephea, with a iletermiiwtion thnft balled the endcavcurn of tho Now YoitphotoKraphers, wns spending a few days for tho purpose of bathiagat San Francwco A photographer followed her there with his apparatus, put if M n bathing-machine, and obtainod hes- portrait as she emerce/j from the waves. This was sent to her with an inti.nacion that ten thousand of the same v,«ild bo offered for sale tho fcdlowinc df,y wiless shoconßontod to allow herself to to photographed in more bocomim/ attireShe was oblifrod to consent. Professor Barker recently lectnred at Brighton on " Whom Not to Marry " In his advice to tho young ] miy par( r "^ h ' audience he earnestly counselled them nr-f to enter into matrimonial relations with men who wore smokers or who Indulged in alcoholic linnore, Tl, c Professor'sTvio«," did not find favour with his audience W manifestations of di.*rtpproval wore' in,,,.' »«1 freqnont. Hupbands are already ,ledeplorably scarce, and if all men «re to !<■> tabooed who are not teetotallers or anlitobnecomsta, the number of ff j,.] s ~.,„_ demned to wither on their vireia sHli'->-" and to walk up and down the Kino's-He-i * in raniden me-Htafion, will iaarease 'to >'■ positively frightful extent.™" Truth " In a popular Birmin^iam wine-reom i> placed a very sensihb notice, whfch bm» forth that eontiem.M who wish towcar or indulge in bad kjnpuago, to tl-, 0 siinoyarfce ofnipNbiU».eutoDMr, !Ha requited Z be übd. to he shown to an apartme't specially provided for rhj. ma of blamlcmmmly clisposs,] mdi-Sid,mh. Should m% offender be boW enough to inquire his Jl to th.fi sanctum, be is politely conduct^ by a boy in buttons to the front do", •apartment, socially devoted" being In fact the open street. In this CSh <• Kvery one shuts this doo, exc^t you." ""