SCINTILLATIONS.

Auckland Star, Volume XXI, Issue 4130, 27 September 1883, Page 2

SCINTILLATIONS.

Stockjikn—Speculators. Kawhia "scats " abating. A Play-Ground.—The stage. The Pope is 74 years of ago. Cast Iron.—Flat-irons used for missiles. Side-splitting fun at the Court Minstrels. 8,000 lepers in the hospital at Honolulu. New monster programme at the Circus to-night. Wellington footballers want the dispute referred to England. Breaches of Promise—Those your tailor didn't bring home. Pat's " Height of Manners "—" The top of the movnin' to you." An athletic club has been succosstully formed in Dunedin. . If a man is never scolded by his wife you may bo perfectly sure that he is dead. It is claimed that leprosy has been recently cured by using eucalyptus. Hangman wanted for New South Wales ; don't all speak at once, gentlemen ! A Precious MiHtake—That Cleopatra s " golden galley " was rowed with "silver ores." What word in tho English language possesses the greatest number of one particular letter '!— " Possesses." Tho Salvationist meeting last night came off with " flying colours." The " canaries " made the people whistle ! Song of the newspaper reader, disgusted with that football dispute—" Try, try, try again !" Edward Mullen, charged with arson at Wellington, has been liberated on £800 bail till sth October. Why ought church-bells to be sounded at a wedding?— Because no marriage is complete without a ring. For MusicalEnthusiasts.—Strictly speaking, a march is about the only music that can be called sole-stirring. Thomas Campbell, a sailor just arrived at Port Chalmers; had been kept 30 days in irons for insubordination ; tho Bench says it sorved him right. Note for tho " Fancy."—lt is not genorally known that only extreme fright can metamorphoso a bull-dog into a coweddog. Mr F. J. Wardcll, formerly mine agent, auctioneer and hotel keeper at Thames, and who came to Auckland a few montha ago, died yesterday, .after a short illness, of inflammation of the kidneys. MrWardell was widely known, and much sympathy is felt for his widow and family. A stranger in a country printing office asked the youngest apprentice what his rule of punctuation was. Said the boy, " I sot up as long as I can hold my breath, and then I put a comma; when I gape, I insert a semicolon; and when I want to sneeze, I make a paragraph." Messrs Redmond and Walsh, persecuted in one city, are fleeing to another. Being rofiißeda'hall at Hokitika, they are now going to Grey mouth. A new work on etiquette says, "Soup must be eaten with a spoon." Persons who are in the habit of eating soup with a fork or a carving-knife will bo slow to adoptsuch a new-fangled idea. Price Bros., Thames, are making a handy locomotive ongineto run on the tramway at VVaiorongomai, To Aroha, between the mines and the battery. "But, Maria, you know if I should sco a ghost, you know why, you know, I should be a chattering idiot for the remainder of my life, you know." "Have you seen a ghost, Henry?" Sir Win. Fox doos not believe in "respootoble" publicans. In the course of a recent lecture he told of a young man who, wishing to make some money, said ho would go into tho drink trade, be a blackguard for a few years, and then retiro and be a gentleman. "But," added the lecturer, "ho is still a publican, and still a blackguard." The "Cradle, Altar, Tomb" columns of tho Pross often chroniclo curiosities, but tho announcement under the former that Mrs has twins (fourth timo) is sufficiently startling to merit passing attention. Eight twins in one family ! Ye gods, what a "Comedy of Errors" for a new Shakespearo ? ____________