Scintillations.

Auckland Star, Volume XI, Issue 3197, 20 October 1880, Page 2

Scintillations.

• Be brief: fir, it is witto words as with sunbeams; thomore they aroondense., the deeper they burn."—aoDTHKY.

Mr Graham has secured his hotel site at Ohinemutu.

Four persons at Palmerston, Otago, have been lined £2CO each for Bly-grog.selling. Judge Harvey thinks ho has not been treated with due consideration by the Government.

The New Zealand "Times" thinks that Vogel's resignation will enable the AgentGeneral's screw to be diniiuiehed.''

It is said that eucalyptus leaves placed amongst grain-sucks prevent mice from attacking them. If you happen to encounter an imperti-nent-hotel clerk, console yourself with the thought that he is inn-offeusive. Few persons would hesitate to lay down life's burden if the didn't fear the devil would pick it up. We presume that pork is a favourite diet, at least almost every other man has his spare rib at dinner.

The man who gets maddest at a newspaper squib is usually tho fellow who bor10W8 tho paper he reads it out of. The Russians preserve fresh fish iv hot weather by dipping them in bees-wax, which forms nn air-tight covering. After their defeat by General Roberts, tho Afghans wero employed eight days in burying their dead,

In England last year 38SS persona were fined for neglecting to vaccinate their children.

An old carpet formerly iv the Saoramento Mint was bought at a sale and burnt. It yielded 2500d0!5. from gold dust. Tho Auckland Stud .Company have sold the thoroughbred Clydesdale entire Prince Arthur to an Opotiki settler. It ia only when a man pawns his watch that he realizes how little monoy time 13 worth.

"There is a time for work and a time for play," but it's mighty unovenly divided among diilercnt people. . i'l Party (who had been to a lecture' on astronomy and a littlo supper afterwards) : " Galileo'eh perfectly right—the earth doesh move."

More retrenchment.— A charwoman in Nelson liob received notice, that her salary of 3* per week for washing out tho Government Ollices has boon reduced to 2s B_d.

A jury in a civil cisc heard at Christ church yesterday was discharged, owing to one of tbdm being interested in the case. If you.would be \venlthy get upon d mule. You will soon liuu that you ore better oif.

1 Mr JSatindcra, M.H.R., is a vegetarian ;nnd cold water drinker. He is a follower of j William Banting, but despite hie temperance ! habits is very stout-

" Havo yon ' Blasted Hope*?''' asked n lady of a green librarian, whoso face was much swollen by the toothache. "No, ma'am ; hnt I have a blasted toothache."

" 1 have throe children who are tbo very image of myself." " I pity tbe youngest," replied hia interlocutor. "Why!" "Hecause he is tho ono who will have to resemble you the longest."

it i-> now sai-1 that Gcsler did not command William Tell to shoot an apple oil' ha sou's head, because there were no apples in Switzerland at that time.

The seventh Old Catholic Congress will be hold at 'Bilden-Baden, September 11th lo 14th. Croat efforts arc being made to insure the success of the Congress, which will be attended by several Anglican clergyman. 'Mine. Camilla Urao has returned to New York from her Australian tour. She is reported to I>e engaged for a visit to Cuba and Mexico, which it is to be hoped is not true.

Joe Thompson has received a telegram his brother Jack stating that Trickett was never in better health, and feels confident he will bring back the companionship of the world to Australia.

lima Di Murska has just begun a suit against Manager Maplcson, in Loudon, for a balance of salary amounting to SI,GOO. it looks as if the prima donna would win her esse.

'Mr Hislop, -who has been visiting tho institutions in Auckland, assisted Mr Bowen hi drafting the original Education Act, which, however, waa somewhat modified in Committee, The lirst Bill provided for the Lords Prayer and Bible reading. - ■ ,

Lord Normanbv's congratulatory message to the Queen, despatched at 1 o'clock in Melbourno, was received at Balmoral before 9 o'clock tho same morning, Friday, Octobor Ist, or strange as it may seem, four hours before it was sent.

Mr Hyatt, tlio teacher of the new Cambtidge iVcst School, has entered upon his duties. The building is a creditable structure and reflects credit on the conrrctor, Mr hendersoD, cf ?«"g.iruawahia. Ths Russian battlefields of tho year 181?. arc etill being explored for bones, which are converted into bone-black. It may thus happen that a man of tbe present day may consume sugar which has been decolorized and purified by means of the bones of his forefathers.

No,, Adolphus, she didn't.mean anything when she told you that her father always went to bed nt 10 o'clock. She simply intended to intimate that after that hour you need fear no " step npon the stair," and instead of 'going home aa you say you 'did, you should have nestled her closer to yonr manly breast and asked her what timo the old man usually got up in the morning. In a window in Shortland a pair of braces bas been exhibited for some time with the following thoreon; "To Master James 'Maywood from his X>ad." No doubt the maker of the braces like many other people in Auckland would like to got hold of that same "dad."

" There is a girl with a fine figure," said Lcnardo Toppletop to his friend Frederick Yon \Veise3nicht, as the ungainly Miss Dromedarious stalked by. "Do you call her's a fine figure?" was the astonished query. " I do; she has $100,000 in her own name."—" Rochester Democrat"

Persons annoyed by mosquitoes, flies and other insects can abate tho nuisance by burning about a tcaspoonful of Pyrethrum roseum or Persian camomile, powdered very 'fine, in the room. Another very good story is told of Beckham when a sailor-was brought before him one morning on a charge of being drunk and disorderly. Tbe man had on a very dirty shirt, and evidently thinking that soap was more wanted than beer, Beckham "{gruffly demanded, " How long do you. wear "yonr'ahirt? sir f| To the astonishment of the Court the sailor replied, "Six inches abOve my knees, your Worship; how long do you wear yours I" *' Forty shillings and qnsts, or forty-eight hours hard labour*- take him away," was the crushing rejoinder. > A very good story is told of Captain Beckham in his early days. Ayonng woman brought a man into Conrt for susten-ance-money for a baby of which he was the reputed father. In order to escape payment, the man brought three or four other mean skunks to swear that they had been equally guilty. Judge, therefore, of their consternation when Beckham ordered each of them to pay five shillings per week for a certain nifniber of years. Beckham was applauded, the woman delighted, the men dumbfounded, and baby numerously fathered.