The Village Barber.

Auckland Star, Volume VI, Issue 1823, 18 December 1875, Page 5 (Supplement)

The Village Barber.

He thought he recogniaed me the moment I entered the door, bat I refused to encourage him in the belief. It was a strange town to me, all the ptsople were strangers, and I was so far from home thab I doubted if man, woman or child in that locality had ever met me before.

Tqo barber smiled tenderly as he pointed to the chair, and then led off as familiar as if he had shaved me every day for a month past. I did not pretend to hear him as he was not to be beaten.

"I hope you'll do well here," he s«id as he pushed my head over, and daubed the lather on the right cheek, commencing at the but of the ear.

(Silence on my part.)

"This town needs another dry goods store," he continued after a moment," and I shouldn't wonder if you just coined money." (Long silence.)

Perhaps it was the silence which convinced him that he had made a mistake, but he was not discouraged. As he lathered the other cheek he suddenly said :

" There are three or foui lawyers here now, but, as Christopher Columbia said, ' There's room at the top of the heap,' and I think you'll be fail of business all the time." Ho was looking right down into ipy face

and through the foam of lather hemight have detected a faint smile, a frown or some other expression which hurt his conceit. He instantly suspected that he had made another mistake. I was looking into the glass on the wall and I Baw his countenance change. Some barbers would not have pursued the subject farther, bat he was the only barber in the village; and he felt that had certain rights, which he felt I was bound to respect. He might have reasoned that I was mulish and obstinate and needed coaxing and flattering, or perhaps he theorized that I was timid and hesitating, and wanted encourageing. At any rate, he soon attacked me again, Baying :

" This a nice village, but I never saw so much sickness in my life as we have had this year. Our doctors don't seem to know enough to manage the diseases, and I'm glad you are going to open an office. I'm pretty healthy as a general thing, but if I get sick I'll give you my custom in preference to anyone else." Still watching the glass, I saw a self-satis-fied smile rippled across his face. For about half a minute he was dead sure in his own mind that he ha d boxed me up.

Then a shade of suspicion crossed his face, Silence sometimes gives consent, but iv this case, after scrutinising my face sharply for an instant, ho interpreted it to mean that he blundered again. He was vexed. I had no right to sit there and treat his round the corner queries with such contemptuous silence. He would pay me for such conduct. I saw the spirit of resolve creep over his face, and he said :

" I was saying only the other day that this town was able to support another blacksmith's shop! Old Jones is good hearted, but he knows no more about shoeing a horse than a coon does about sailing a canal boat." His eyes glistened, and he took no pains to keep down the chuckle of satisfaction bubbling up into his throat. He regarded it as a line short —a crusher—and if he hadn't boen shaving my chin at that time he would have been unable to suppress a laugh.

His razor cross the chin, scraped up aan down, and skipped around to the jugular vein before the barber's smile faded. He had been watching me to catch a start of surprise or a look of displeasure, or something to guide his opinion ; and as he had been unsuccessful, he renewed the lather on the left cheek and sighed drearily. I hoped he was a man of determination, and trusted that he would not give up. Fearing tbat he would, I was about to speak, when he smiled blandly and remarked :

" I can tell a school teacher the minute I set eyes on him ?

(Lather and silence)

"And it's funny too," he continued, " that I have shaved every professor in the normal school here the first morning of his arrival, and have told each and every one that he was a professor before he had said a word to me.

(Silence and shave.)

"Well, I suppose teaching is a good paying business," he went on, as he looked my face over to see if he had skipped a spot, " and I'm willing to help you all I can. I haven't any children—am not married—but if ever I get married and have children I'll send them to school to you." His persistence and flattery deserved some encouragement, but I was determined to hold out to the last ditch. He shut up his razor with a quick, vexed motion, tossed it on the sand regardless of damages, and he smiled maliciously as he got down the bottle of unadulterated bay rum. I knew it would bite like a serpent and Bting like an adder, but could I show less stoicism than he had shown diplomacy and persistency ? Didn't I commence the struggle ? I shut my teeth, looked straight into ; the glass, aud he sopped the fiery stuff over my cheeks and chin. He expected a squirm and a yell, and his surprise was great. The light of revenge had crept into his eyes but it quickly faded away, and as he replaced the bottle and wiped my face with the towel he said :

I never saw but one other man who could stand bay rum like that, and he was a returned Californian. The climate of that country hardens the flesh, I suppose." I refused to reply. He got angry again, dug my scalp as he combed my hair, gave my head several uneasy twists, knocks and pushes, and he jerked the big calico apron off my lap as if he hated me. However, curiosity suddenly overcame his vexation of spirit, and as he brushed me off he said—

The town ought to support another undertaker, and if I can be of any assistance in finding you a shop you can call upon me day or night.

I wouldn't speak, and I heard him gritting his teeth. He also struck me several hard blows with the brush, and once tried to hit me fair on the nose. I thought I had r\i s . couraged him, but just as I put on r^y hat aod opened the door he made a \p_ 6 _ desperate charge. Smiling sweetly, ho inquired : " Less see ! Eeverend—Reverend— what did you say it was ?—Roy. Mr Brown ?" I didn't say.— The Q.apMo.