QUESTIONS FROM CHILDREN PARENTS’ ETERNAL DILEMMA

Ashburton Guardian, Volume 58, Issue 41, 27 November 1937, Page 4

QUESTIONS FROM CHILDREN PARENTS’ ETERNAL DILEMMA

“rpHE questions they ask!” sighed Ruth, -** “One needs to be a Solomon for wisdom, an encyclopaedia for knowledge, and to possess the patience of Job into the bargain.” She had been retailing for us the latest intellectual excursions of Clare and Bobbie, her promising offspring. It appears that a growing interest in life has directed their bright, inquiring minds to problems of God, sex and the universe. “What is a poor parent to do " she demanded to know, and, because there is not a parent living who has not come up against the same puzzle, her question was echoed all round our circle. From the discussion emerged three rules which, we all agreed, might be taken for guidance in the matter. These were: First, that genuine inquiries should be answered; secondly, that they should be answered truthfully; and thirdly, that they should be answered with a good grace. 1 r I r"*l H'dlfi Children are often the truest philosophers, and their questions usually strike at fundamentals. They are actuated by a desire to know the answer to some problem that has been presented to their understanding, and parents must allow for the growing intelligence of the offspring and not wave the inquiry impatiently aside. A true reply seems to be the rule that presents most difficulty, for > the questions children ask are sometimes as hard for the adult to answer as for the child himself.

There is no excuse, however, for resorting to lies. The child will later learn the truth and come to distrust and despise the subterfuges by which he has been deceived. If the parent does not know the answer, it is wiser to say so frankly, and refer the child to one who does know, the expert or the teacher,

or, better still, "look' it up” together in dictionary or encyclopaedia. It is a good habit for young or old to look things up as they arise. If the question is of that decidedly awkward order relating to sex, the rule should still apply and nothing should be said that must be unlearned later. It is a good plan with younger children to answer simply the question asked without elaboration or extension of the train of thought. A simple answer often settles the question for the time being, and interest promptly run on to other things. The parent who anticipates the child’s interest in such matters frequently does as much violence to tender feelings as the one who by a “hush hush” policy leads the child to believe that it is up against something shameful. Our final rule, that questions should be answered with a good grace, may seem a strange one, but we felt that it was supported by important considerations. Many parents complain that, as their children grow older, they lose contact with them and feel helpless to assist them in the real trials and tribulations of adolescences and early manhood and womanhood. This will not arise where there has always been a ready response to the call for enlightenment. A sympathetic ear and an open mind to their requests for information are the surest means of holding the confidence of growing sons and daughters.