Page 6 Advertisements Column 1

Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXIII, Issue 8530, 9 April 1913, Page 6

SiWLES FOR THE DAY. Loafer; " If J[ was you I'd >tay at "ome u::djivaf}h"'thc kids." ftu&raiost:, ' 'f 2iy £ood man, if i wore,you I'd begin on myself first!" Fiat Travolior: "Why is Lhat pompous fellow strutting about so absurdly?." Second, Traveller: "Ho found some ham in his railway sandwich.'' Hewitt: " Gruei has lost all his money." Jewett: "But I-thought he ■was-a Napoleon .'of finance. I', Hewitt: ".He was, but ho met a Wellington." Lady: "How much are. these chickens?" Market Man: "Four shillings each." "Do you raise them yourself?" "Oh, yea.'"- They worn three shillings aud sixpence yesterday." , " .' • Family Physician: "I arii. afraid you heJvQ 'been eating too' mucli 'cako and flweetetufl:. I<ot me see your tongTie>." • Little Girl: "Oh, you can look' at it, I>ut it-wont toll." . ' •Ncryoiis-'.Liidy, Passenger (in- the- ' train, after passing a temporary. bridge): "Thank goodness,-we are now on terra.., firnia!" Funny Man : " Yes, ma'am—less terror and wqvh firmer."