SMILES FOR THE DAY.

Ashburton Guardian, Volume XXXIII, Issue 8407, 8 November 1912, Page 6

SMILES FOR THE DAY.

Customer (to shopkeeper) —" Have you got any. eggs that you can guarantee that there are no chickens in ?" Shopkeeper (pausing for a moment) — "Yes, sir; duck eggs."-

| Invocation to a Hen. Poetry seems to be the order of the day. In the " Manchester Guardian " recently a contributor interested in poultry was inspired to drop into poetry instead, the Australian egg-lay-ing contest moving him to the following invocation of the British hen:-—

Ye! true-born British fowls,, what have we here? ■ ■, What sha,rnp.ful., n«ws is this, ye feathered gentry? [The world's egg^laying contest for the year, And not a woi-d of any English entry! < Think how our stalwart critics over- ' seas' Will take this text; of such exceeding blackness, And demonstrate once more with greatest ease (And pained surprise) the Mother Country's slackness. :

Think how they'll say: " Their ancient vigour sapped ■','"'' By luxury and lack.of emulation, Even tho British farmyard fowl is wrapped In decadence and slothful enervation."

Or show that, short of eggs, no race • can raise , , The breed that face, uncowed, the' foemen's bullets, And prove that Rome's last, undistinguished 'days Were equally devoid of healthy pallets,!''. • -,

'0 hens of England! stir yourselves, I beg; Take careful thought and come to the conclusion That henceforth you omit the frequent .in hitherto unparalleled profusion.

i Put up some show Uiis year, no matter how; Appoint a captain, get a team selected— You have* tho oyes of England on you now— Our waning prestige must be reunrreoted. ■ J