SOME SMILE SEEDS.

Dr. Marcus Herz, of Berlin, is credited with -saying to a patient who read medical books diligently in order, to prescribe for himself: "Be careful, my friend. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint."

"Do you think you can manage with my salary of 12 dollars a week, darling?" he asked', after she had said "yes." "I'll try, Jack," said she; "but what will you do?" The political boss of a small Western city drove his buckboard at top speed down the main street on the morning of election. "Hey, Johnnie 1" he yelled to his son, "git down in the Fourth Ward quick I There's people down there votin'. as they blame please!" "An heirloom," explained the farmer's wife to her thirteen-year-old boy, "is something that has been handed down from father to son, and in some instances is greatly prized." "I'd prize these heirlooms I'm wearing," remarked the youngster, "a good deal more if they/wasn't so long in the legs." "We won't print any such stuff as that 1" said the editor loftily as handed back the manuscript. "Well, you needn't be so haughty about it," Tetorted the irregular contributor. "You're not the only one who won't print it." "Mama wishes you to enter papa's factory, darling. That would do away with all his unwillingness." "But, dearest, I'm a poet." "All the better. You can write verses for our vinegar advertisements." Benevolent Lady (to newly-mar-ried charwoman): And so you ar« married now, Lydia? I hope your husband is a good provider. The Bride: That he is, mum. He got ma three new places to wash at last week. Mr Blinks (in art museum): I did' nob know you were such an admirer: of curios, Mrs Blunderby. Mrs Bhmderby. Oh, yes, indeed. I just delight in iniquities. There is only one thing that is said! to be worse than being called upon unexpectedly to make an after-dinner; speech—this is to prepare an afterdinner speech and not be asked to deliver it.

b'armer Hanks (musingly): Thex say the deacon's wife was a paragon before he married her, and— r~ MrHanks : Nothing of _fche kind 1 I know the" whole family, and she was a Smith.

Morrison: I bet the man who rani his automobile over Snodgrass is sorry. Harrison: Why do you think so? Morrison: Snodgrass was wearing a scarf pin that punctured tho fellow's tyre.

Mr Gay: Do you think that your father will "smile on my suit" ? Miss Smart: I'm sure he will, George. Ha painted the gate you're leaning against a bright green only a few hours ago.

Mifkins: Would it hurt your feelings if T. should fe'all you a liar ? Bifkins; Oh, no; but it might hurt my" kinoklp.--.