The Mudlarks' Leave Night

Observation Post, Volume 1, Issue 4, 12 June 1942, Page 4

The Mudlarks' Leave Night

FIRST IMPRESSIONS. (Br N. H. L.) The leave bus. to start with what could well be described as a tin and the poor deluded New Zealand country lads (with apologies to Hitler) as sardines to be exact. After the driver has pushed and shoved and finally levered the-last, unfortunate gunner into confinement a little space the omnibus rumbles on its errand very much to the discomfort (physically) but delight (mentally) of the pride of the line. When disgorged upon mother earth in the centre of one of New Zealand’s great cosmopolitan cities, all semblance of law and order is dropped in varying ? stages according to - the destination of the young hopefuls, i.e. The Imperial or the Grand or if on -week-end leave The St. George, Haining Street .or the Royal Oak. Gnr. Blank land his brother.Gnr. Blankedy Blank i are V in town and as the day before was payday they were definitely in the I mood. As they had both decided (unanimously or is it bianimously) at an early age to play a clean game throughout their lives they thought they would keep up the traditions of five battery jby visiting the Grand for-a bath, etc. I They used a system which works out i cheaper by walking straight- upstairs and borrowed a towel from one of the bedrooms. They passed two five battery officers doing the same thing and it was quite a race for the bathroom. It was , surprising the effects of this bath, in • fact they looked so different that the officers had to be called in to introduce them to each other. Then a short slide ■down the bannisters finishing at the ? trap for young players started things, j Very soon they were quite shellshocked owing to their having had a Niblick at m Horses Neck which slings a Pink Parachute with a Depth Charge attached. Then our'pal Gnr. Blank mounts a ! chair and delivers a fiery speech telling J all the world about one of the worst diseases on the face of the earth. I N.B: Sergeants-Major. The audience . all shout' and ; agree in t no tuncertain I terms during which one ; miserable i figure slinks out feeling that, the world [is’a sad place to-day but suddenly with I a malicious gleam in his eye he remem- , | bers that though .to-day they , eat, drink [ and be merry to-morrow they are :on Cookhouse , fatigue. They are removed [from the premises after a short scuffle land hiccough their way to a cafe where they enjoy a snack of sausages and to- [ matoes, steak and eggs and fish. In the street they manage to . see a. notice [which invites all 'servicemen to roll up : to a dance which they do in good style, i They have nearly finished the dance when Gnr. Blank realises he is not I dancing with the Venus of his choice [but with a normal officer; i.e. an ofti-

cer with two/pips. His second choice is a young blonde girl of the female sex who is in a romantic mood as - she - has heard about the Artillery going into action in a big -big way. He notices that the hall ,is filling rapidly and he remarks: “There isn’t much room in here is there?” She answers tenderly looking into his blue eyes, “Yes it if rather f crowded in here,” whereupor our absent minded friend replied “It’s a wonder you can find room foi your feet,” much to the horror and tin disgust -of the dainty damsel. ; Ou: friend couldn’t make out why she re fused the supper dance. Meanwhile Gnr Blankedy Blank decides the world wil ’Do a much happier place if he render a song, so to the lilting melodies of ; waltz in ragtime he sings “The Goos Song.” which brings down the house o nearlv as he accidentally trips -Kat Smith and Oliver Hardy or thei replicas who are jitterbuggerisin round. When our two friends picke themselves un off the good but har earth they slowly wend their way , t Mudlarks Villa and only because Rex i hanging around a tree sniffing, remind them of a job to be done before retirin to their wooden cots.

As I was walking out one night, I spied a Sergeant neat and brig His girl friend wore a turban blue, And whispered, Lionel, I lo you. ’ ’