MARRIAGE.

White Ribbon, Volume 18, Issue 212, 18 February 1913, Page 5

MARRIAGE.

Marrlage ! What is marriage ?

Wedding bells ? White raiment ? A bridal feast ? Many gifts ? The admiration of other girls, because I have a lover, and am now a bride ? Is this marriage ?

So, mv dear voting fellow country w mien. This is not marriage ; these are only the outside show, the superficial joys. Yes, these things are joys, and very legitimate joys, when they arc the accompaniments of true marriage. What, then, is true marriage ? The joining together of tw J o lives ; the founding of a new home, a he me which is to Ik* a blessing and an influence for good to every inmate of it ; and not to these alone, I ut. to the community at large. Oh ! that we could gras] this ; dea ! the living not for our own benefit and happiness, but f< the good of tlu* community ; that not onlv the members of our home, but o’*r neighbours, our village, our immedicate circle, our very generation mav le the better for our influence, for our having lived ! And if this *s to he the outcome an 1 result of marriage, of the founding of a new home, surely the two who are ioining together to found it are taking upon themselves a greit responsibility; and to he ready and fit for responsibility there must he a record of good tramin * - and character building. Let ns consider two things then : first, in what wavs must I prepare mvself for marriage, that 1 mav prove a good wife, worthy of a good husband ; and a true mother. II such is to he mv privilege ? Secondly, what characteristics do 1 look for in the man that is to share with me tlu* Cares and anxieties as well as the iovs of life—that is to he a father to mv children ?

Firstly, how can I prepare myself for w ifehood and motherhood ? I want to l»e a downright womanly woman ; capable of ]K*rceiving intuitively the needs and necessities oi those around tne ; ooich .»p 1 ready to sympathise with and sh »re the burden of anxieties and difficulties ami full of iovous cheerfulness to sh ire the joys of wellearned relaxation. To he thus reulv, T must lie stron r »hvsitallv and mentally ; 1 must he free from anv inherited disease. I must If* <d a vigorous,

pure, active, healthful life; with work and sleep and exercise and relaxation well balanced ; I must build up my body by pure, wholesome food and drink, clothing it neatly and modestly without harmful constriction, that it imu he m the most fit condition possible for tlu* liearing of healthv children. I must he temperate a nd self-con-trolled in all mv halxits and relations of life. I must understand household management, so that v hether I am rich or ] oor I may In- able* either to direct wisely or to carry on the work myself. \nd to understand househ »ld management every girl must herself experience the work in every department} and all honour to the girls of wealthy and cultured families who realise that honest work is h< pourable, and themselves go through it, that they may mane just and considerate mistresses in their future homes !

Then I must lv: ready to devote myself to the care of mv children ; lor surely no mother ever knows the real joys oi motherhood until she experiences tlu* love and confidence the child can onlv give in response to the self sacrificing love ] oured out by the mother who the care and upbringing of her iittie ones in her own hands. t urthennore, I must know something of the care of the sick ; to be ready to meet the accidents and emergencies of life. Also I want to be able to sew*, mend, and make, for many are the occasions when a ready needle can save largely in the expenditure, and render valued help to a friend. Then I must understand Uie value of money, that I mav make a wise expenditure, considering mainly tlu* solid benefits that money will provide, and caring little for outward show.

Then again, let tne cultivate mv mind, that I may be a sympathetic and interested listener to mv husband s interests, and to the doings 111 the great world around.

And let me find n»y pleasures in the simple God-given jo vs of life—the Idealities of nature, the delights of friendship ; for these will fit me to Ik* young and merry with mv children, so that tiev will alwavs look first and foremost to mother for sympathy in all their jovs and sorrows.

And let me consider home to he the first and most important sj here of mv activities, and remember that not until its me Is are gt-

tended to can public <*r outside work have anv claim upon me. Secondly, what characteristics do T look for in the man that is to share with me in the cares and inxirties, as well as the ioys of life and who is to be a father to tnv chi'drcn ? He also must hive the rood of the community at h-art : he must t>e an honest u-or er : looking a* ove the world’s st nd »rd of good money making and •leisure seeding : directing his str»*n th to the lettering of tnan- ’ in' 1 , n'io"s to l r'u ,r children who will | e of iise in their generaton, promoters of good in the world.

T’u*o »his end T retire of tnv to*#»i rt nd the same onalificatti ns °s T require of mvself. He m* st come of a healthv family, free fr in taint of disease ; he must h »* e led a note, restrained life ; h** m *st be b e ,ithv. vigorous, and r o nd and ruulv to co-ooerate ” th me -n self control, that we iru v t '"etb,.r gi e our children a v o ,, nH »n * h» alth f ul start in life, nd fi'a' e th**ir uobnn nna anil eiue^t;i«n o*r mutual iov a n 1 care. Furthermore, I would like tnv husband to eoss ss the teal ’ovs of b f e «»riod fr'rnds. t*ood books, h* IthM bobbies tmHenin", walk* •n r the de ! irhts o f the country; ♦ h»n's th »t cin be en : oved and shared with others without money anti without rrite: and. lastly, but most im» ort.mt of all. 1 want (»od to t-e the Head of oiir home ; to In* ♦h ‘ msmrat on of the life there ; the (i"d in Whom we live and move and have our I e»n », to be the Ik*emnin« and tin end of all thin pi—the light . nil *.he life.