Untitled

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XLIX, Issue 45, 16 November 1922, Page 54

WHAT SHE WANTED.

■"A. customer asked one. of the saleswomen at the linen ■• counter for a certain style -of. handkerchief.; The alwayspleasant/ ever-obliging assistant opened box? after box, looked over the stock in the show-case with great care, and,then brought forth a reserve stock and looked painstakingly through this — without finding what was wanted. .<-_";•.-. Then from a remote corner of one of* the shelves she took down another box. , ' \ . ' When it was opened the customer exclaimed, "That's it!" and holding up a lace-trimmed handkerchief she asked * "How much is it?" .When, told the price she replied, "I didn't want to buy any of them, but a friend gave me one for a present, and T wanted to find out how much she paid for it." ;. SETTLING THE ARGUMENT. . Two small boys were" discussing the excellencies of their respective parents, and the conversation had reached the personal stage. "Well," remarked Tommy Stubbs, "you can say what you like, but I reckon on your father's about the meanest man that ever lived. Fancy him letting you walk about in them old boots, and him a bootmaker, too!" ; "Gam," replied Bobby Roberts, "my father ain't so mean as your father, anyway. Fancy him being a dentist and your baby only got one tooth!" HOW TO DO IT. The professor was trying "to demonstrate a simple experiment in the generation of steam. "What have I in my hand?" he asked. can," came the answer. "Very true. Is the can an animate or an inanimate object?" "Inanimate.''' "Exactly. Now, can 'any little boy or girl tell me how, with this tin can, it is possible to generate a. surprising amount of speed and power almost beyond control?" '".■•#/ One little boy raised his right hand. :' "Well, Tommy?" "Tie it to a clog's tail!", ~ SMILE-RAISERS.. ;.,/'. Mother.: "Where arc you• going/ Willie?" Willie: "I am going out to spend my pennies. You said I was to. save them for a rainy day, and it's' raining hard!" :';.:■•.« 5J2' ■'■ •- V "What is the effect of taking a cold bath every morning?" "The chief one that I've noticed is an unconquerable desire to tell everybody about it!" ■'sp Willie (to talkative caller): "Well, now that you've come, I suppose I shall have to go for the doctor!'?, Talkative Caller: "Why, Willie?" Willie: "Father says you always make him /HI" - - **» "V" Mamma had sent little Bessie to the pantry to fetch some sticky fly-paper. She was gone a long time, and finally the mother called: "Bissie, hurry with the fly-paper. Have you got it?" There was a pause, and then this in an earnest voice: "No, mamma, the fly-paper's got me. But—we're both coming!" .'•. * • * '•■ '' ■..' '' • A teacher asked her class to write an essay on London. She was surprised to read the following in one attempt: "The people of London are noted for their stupidity." The young author was asked how he got that idea. "Please, miss," was the reply, "it says in the textbooks that the population of London is very dense." .