The Family Circle

New Zealand Tablet, 8 July 1915, Page 61

The Family Circle

A PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS. A penny for thy thoughts, sweet boy, Who smilest up at me. Thy father craves the simple joy Of sharing thoughts with thee. His mind must hold a lot of things. As life’s great scroll unfurls. Less bright than those which lisping brings From underneath thy curls. So tell him of thy childhood’s wealth. Thy toys and friends and games; lie loved them all, ere age in stealth Filled him with meaner aims. Relate to‘'him* how thou hast lost A wager, or at play ; ’Twere comfort gained at trifling cost: He’s met defeat to-day. The world has leered on him in scorn, His friends have passed him by, All ! many a load thy father’s borne To light thy infancy. To give thy little body grace And strength and manly size, To bring the rose red to thy cheeks, The fire to thine eyes. Thy mother, boy, is gone to God, And we must fight alone ; Asleep so soon ? In land of Nod, Let childhood claim its own. I see in every blood-lit curve My Mary’s image fair; Such noble hearts, ’twere joy to serve, I kiss thy mother’s hair. Let angels show thee fairyland, Where mother lives to-day ; I fold the dimpled hand on hand, Ah, God ! I, too, will pray. Keep him as pure in after years As when he came from Thee, And he’ll not bring his father tears, Or shame her memory. A penny for thy thoughts, sweet boy, At rest in slumber’s span : Thy father hath no greater joy Than thee, his little man. ORIGIN OF SOME POPULAR PHRASES. A native of the Emerald Isle is said to be responsible for the phrase, ‘ Catching'a Tartar.’ In a battle an Irishman called out to his officer—‘ I-have caught a Tartar!’ ‘Bring him here, then,’ was the reply. ‘He won’t let me rejoined Pat, and, as the captive carried off his captor, the saying caused much amusement, and has been a popular phrase ever since. Anyone who has witnessed the manufacture of a rustic whistle can be at no loss for the origin of the saying, ‘As clean as a whistle.’ A piece of young ash or willow, about four inches long and the thickness of a finger, is hammered all over with the handle of a knife until the bark is disengaged from the wood and capable of being drawn off. A notch and a cut or two having been made in the stick, the cuticle-is replaced and the instrument is completed. When stripped of its covering, the white woe with its colorless . sap, presents the very acme of cleanness.

The phrase, 'As right as a trivet/ seems to liave its origin in the fact that a trivet, or any other utensil with three legs or points of support, will invariably stand firm, although these may not be. exactly of the same height or length. The case is, however, different with a four-legged stool, considerable skill and accuracy being required to ensure it resting on all four legs at once, . .

With regard to the saying ‘ As mad as a hatter,’ one is at a loss to understand why a hatter should be made the type of insanity, rather than a tailor or a shoemaker. An authority, however, explained the origin in the following ingenious way. The French compare an incapable or weak-minded person to an oyster. ‘He reasons like an oyster,’ they say, and it is suggested that, through the similarity of sound, the French huitre may have given occasion to the English hatter.’ From ‘ll roisonne comine, tine huttre’ may have come out ‘ As mad as a hatter.’ . ‘ Eating humble pie is a phrase which really arose from the corruption of the word ‘ umbles ’ or ‘numbles/ the coarser parts of a deer killed in hunting, which, when made into a pie, were formerly reserved for the lower hunt servants; while ‘ cooking his goose ’ is a phrase which originated when the King of Sweden, on approaching a hostile town, excited the contempt of (he inhabitants by the smallness of his army. To express this they hung out a goose for him to shoot at, whereupon the king set fire to the town to cook their goose.’

The common phrase, ‘Tuft-hunter’ is applied to a person who seeks the society and apes the manners of those far above him in the social scale. The question is often asked how the word ‘ tuft ’ came to be used in this connection. It is said by some authorities that the phrase took its rise at the Universities of Oxford and Cambridge, where at one time the young noblemen wore a peculiarly-formed cap with a tuft, which presumably attracted hangers-on. • It is related that ‘Hobson’s choice’ arose from the fact that Hobson, a noted carrier in Cambridge, would only let out his horses and coaches for hire in rotation, refusing to allow his customers to choose, a customer being compelled to take the hors© nearest the door. Thus it became customary, when anything was forced upon one, to say ‘ Hobson’s choice.’ HARD ON THE WITNESSES. A street brawl occurred one day, and a number of the peace-breakers were apprehended and brought up for trial before the Bailie. After witnesses had been examined pro and con, the Bailie curtly decided, ‘ Half-a-croon apiece!’ against all concerned, witnesses and prisoners alike !’ Of course this decision was called in question by the witnesses, who submitted that they were in no way connected with the disturbance, but were simply onlookers. But the Bailie was inexorable—' It disna matter a button, ye had nae business there. Half-a-croon apiece, or ten days!’ A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY. When Miss Ann Pickett dropped in on her neighbor, Mrs. Spicer, and found her moping over the fragments of a gilt vase, Miss Ann sympathised generously. ‘ It must have been quite a costly vase,’ she said,, looking admiringly at the pieces. ‘ No, it only cost two shillings,’ Mrs. Spicer ackknowledged. ‘ ’Taint that I feel so bad about.’ ‘ Maybe it was a gift that you prized because of associations ’

Mi’s. Spicer shook her head. ‘ Jim and I bought it over in Tompkinsville a long time ago; I prized it because it was such a saving to the family. The first year we had it I kept it on the front shelf for a general ornament; then when Jim’s birthday came and I hadn’t anything else handy to give, I gave him the vase for his own. Next Christmas, instead of paying out good

money to buy something new, he gave it back to me for a Christmas present then I gave it to Jim, junior, on his birthday, and he gave it .to Sue Belle on hers. ‘ The next spring all the kinfolks got up a birthday party for old Aunt Sally Spicer, and we took her the vase; after she’ kep’ it a good bit, she, gave it to Jim’s sister Jane for a weddin’ present, and afterwards Jane gave it to me and Jim when we had our china weddin’. i was counting on giving it to Jim on his next birthday, and now here it it smashed to pieces. ‘ I tell you, Miss Ann, it most makes me cry to think of losing such a useful family article—so near Jim’s birthday, too !’ RESPECTABLE ORIGIN. The Prince of Wales is becoming more and more enthusiastic over his arduous duties at the front, and in spite of his high position he is not avoiding extreme hardship and danger. Those who know the Prince intimately say that he is as fond of a joke now as he was when he was a little boy—and in his nursery days his quaint sayings were proverbial in the Royal Family. The late King Edward used to tell the following story. The King asked the little Prince what part of history he was then studying. ‘All about Perkin Warbeck,’ replied his Royal Highness. ‘And who was he?’ inquired his Majesty, anxious to test his grandson’s knowledge. ‘ Oh,’ answered the Prince, ' he pretended he was the son of a king ; but he wasn’t. lie was the sou of respectable parents !’ MISSED EVERY SHOT. One of the best stories told about Sir John French is how, one night at dinner, some officers were discussing rifle-shooting. The general was listening, as was his wont, without making any remark, until at length lie chipped in with ; ‘ Say, I’ll bet anyone here,’ in his calm, quiet, deliberate way, ‘ that 1 can fire ten shots at 500 yards and call each shot correctly without waiting for the marker. I’ll stake a box of cigars on it. The major present accepted the offer and the next morning the whole mess was at the shooting range to see the trial. Sir John fired. ‘Miss!’ he announced. He fired again. ‘Miss!’ he repeated. A third shot. ‘Miss!’ S ‘ Hold on there ! T protested the major. ‘ What are you doing? You are not shooting at the target at all.’ “ . „ But French finished his task. ‘Miss! ‘Miss. ‘ Miss ! ’ _ ‘Of course I wasn’t shooting at the target, he said. ‘ I was shooting for those cigars.’ IT PUZZLED PAT. Pat was at the railway station, and he put a penny in a machine bearing the inscription, ‘ Pull the handle with a jerk.’ After Pat had put the penny in the slot he began looking all over the machine. A porter passing at the time said, ‘ Halloa, Pat, won’t the machine work?’ ‘Begorra!’ said Pat, ‘I dunno ; it says “Pull the handle with a jerk,” but I can’t find the blessed jerk to pull it with!’ WILLIE’S ANSWER. Some time ago the teacher in a public school was giving a talk on classic mythology. Little Willie was not very attentive, and when it came to the questioning part of the game he was lost in the wilderness. & Willie,’ said the teacher, closing the book and looking impressively at the youngster, ‘can you tell me who Cyclops was?’ _ ‘ Yes, ma’am,’ was the prompt answer of Willie. ‘ He was the feller what wrote the cyclopedia.’

A BIT OF CONCEIT.

‘ My brother in the trenches,’ said a French chef, writes me a little anecdote about General Joffre, the generalissimo, you know. . .. ‘Our brave Joffre was examining a map while under fire. The map was held by a young subaltern 'y boy of 16 years from the military school of St. Cyx. Bang ! S-s-s! went the marmites and Jack Johnsons and whistling Willies—for so they call those shells, you know—and the boy could not help starting and trembling as he held the map, and this lost our brave Joffr© his place. ‘ The generalissimo was vexed when he lost his place three or four times, and he said to the boy soldier: ‘ “Voila, you are too conceited, dodging the shells like that! Do you suppose the Boches aim those expensive shells at you? You are only a little boy soldier. Do you take yourself for a cathedral?” ’ BUSINESS FIRST. Fussy Man (hurrying into a newspaper office) : ‘ I’ve lost my spectacles somewhere, and I want to advertise for them; but I can’t see to write without them.’ Advertisement Clerk: ‘I will write the advertisement for you, sir. Any marks on them?’ Fussy Man : 1 Yes, yes! Gold-rimmed, lenses different focus, and letters “L. Q. C.” on edges. Insert it three times.’ Clerk: ‘Yes, sir. Three shillings, please.’ Fussy Man: ‘ Here it is.’ Clerk ; ‘ Thanks ! It gives me great pleasure, sir, to inform you that your spectacles are on the top of your head.’ Fussy Man: ‘So they are! But why didn’t you say so before ?’ Clerk: ‘ Business before pleasure, you know, sir.’ A CONUNDRUM. It is often literally true that ‘ the weak things of the world ’ are able to ‘ confound the things which are mighty.’ Not long ago a member of Parliament was caught napping by his little granddaughter, who is the delight of her parents and the idol of her grandfather. She°came before him, her face wreathed in smiles, and said : . ‘ Grandpa, I saw something running across the kitchen floor this morning without any legs. What do you think it was?’ ‘ He studied for awhile, but finally was obliged to (rive it up. What was it?’ he asked. ° ‘ Water,’ answered the little lady, triumphantly. A SMART ANSWER. An English bank clerk, who imagined that no one was as clever as he, was recently on a visit to his aunt, who lives in a village in the South of Ireland. It was this young man’s greatest pleasure to hold up Pat to ridicule on every possible occasion. One morning when he was out” for a stroll with some of his friends ho met a boy leading a very thin horse along the road, and called out: . ...... ‘ Say, Pat, why don’t you get inside and fill him out ?’ . , . ‘ I would, sir,’ said Pat, ' if his mouth was as big as yours. »