THE FAMILY CIRCLE

New Zealand Tablet, 3 December 1914, Page 61

THE FAMILY CIRCLE

REFLECTIONS IN A YOUNG GIRL’S LOOKING • • • ’ GLASS. Eyes of mine; O promise me, Only what is .good to see; Not to wander not to stray Where the foolish fancies play, And should frowning envy plead / For lodging, pay no heed, ■ Look you not on aught amiss, Eyes of mine. Promise this. Ears of mine, O promise me, Harken not when flattery * Tries with blandishments to win, Do not let him enter in And when idle gossip knocks At your doors, make fast the locks. Hearken not to aught amiss, Ears of mine, Promise this. Lips of mine, O promise me, Speak true words or silent be, When ill temper burns to smite, Guard your portals, shut them tight, Let not mockery or pride Move you ever to deride. Speak you never aught amiss. Lips of mine, , Promise this. A FORLORN HOPE. It* was a recruit’s first appearance at the riflerange. The range-officer tried him first at five hundred yards, and the recruit could not come within a mile of the target. Next r the 'officer tried him at three hundred yards, then at two hundred yards, and finally at one hundred yards. His . last shot was even - worse than his first. The officer looked at him with disgust and, losing his temper, shouted the command in his face; ’ j ‘ Attention ! , Fix bayonet ! Charge the target ! It’s your only chance !’ , . ■ * . ,| GETTING EVEN. ;i J Thackeray was once at loggerheads with a fellow Bohemian of the press, the now-forgotten Angus B.

Reach. Reach was touchy about the . pronunciation of his name, claiming that it was properly Re-ack, with only two syllables, and the accent on the last ~ To . Thackeray’s discomfort hq found himself at dinner one evening with Reach. In the course of the meal the novelist had to ask: " ’ ’ f , * Mr. Reach, shall I send you some mutton?’ Mr. Thackeray,’ returned the other, ‘I must request, sir, that you will not call me out of my name. My name is Re-ack, sir, Re-ack.’ . ‘I beg pardon,’ said Thackeray: But he watched tor his opportunity, which came at dessert. A dish of fruit being placed before him, he again addressed himself to Angus B. ; / Mr. Re-ack,’ he said, ‘ may I send you a pe-ack?’ . WHEN THE WAITER CAME. ' Were you ringing the bell, sir?’ asked the waiter of the customer who had been busy with the bell for fifteen minutes. * ‘ Ringing it, man?’ echoed the customer. ‘ I have been tolling it. I thought you were dead.’ WHAT IT WAS BUILT OUT OF. George: ‘What a fine building that is across the way.’ Charles: * Yes, yes but the owner built it out of the blood, aches, and groans of his fellow-men; out of the grief of crying children and the woes of wailing women.’ , George; ‘Ah a rum-seller, of course!’ Charles: ‘Oh, no; he’s a dentist.’ ' THERE WAS NO CHANGE. With boundless enthusiasm the food faddist harangued the mob on the marvellous results to be obtained from chewing soap and eating nut butter. . ‘ Friends,’ he‘cried, swelling visibly and clapping his chest, ‘ two years ago I was a walking skeleton a haggard, miserable wreck. What do you suppose brought about this great change in me He paused to see the effect of his words. Then a voice rose from among his listeners. Wot .change’?’ OUTWITTED. Some soldiers who wished to avoid attending Divine service, when paraded as usual on Sunday morning, told the officer that they were agnostics. * Oh,’ said the officer, ‘ you are agnostics, are you ? Then you do not believe the Ten Commandments?’ ‘No,’ the lads replied, ‘ we don’t.’ ■ ‘ Not the Commandment about keeping the Sabbath Day holy ?’ No.’ 4 You are the very lads I have been looking for,’ answered the officer,’ ‘to scrub out the barracks.’ And they were set to work on this uncongenial task, which soon converted them back to Christianity.’ THE GLOBE’S POPULATION. According to the censuses and estimated made in 1910, the globe contains nearly, 2,000,000,000 inhabitants, an average of forty to the square mile. Leaving out of account the mountains, the desert, and the ice covered land about the poles, there must be at least 30.000. square miles, capable of supporting a dense population, especially with the aid of modern scientific methods and modern machinery for the cultivation of the soil. There cannot be the slightest doubt that the population v of the United States could be increased to an average of 200 to the square mile, making a population for the'* United States of more than 700,000,000. It is probable that Africa could maintain more than 1.000. people if --it were thoroughly civilised. South America covers 7,000,000 - square miles, and is rich enough to have at least 500,000,000 inhabitants. :