The Family Circle

New Zealand Tablet, 19 March 1914, Page 61

The Family Circle

WHEN I’M GROWN UP 1 think, when I’m a grown-up man, I’d like to be < A tram conductor, if I can; Or, let me see—I It would be very, very nice To keep a shop, Where I could eat vanilla ice And never stop. I’d like to be a soldier, too; It must be fun To lie down flat, as soldiers do, And fire a gun. And then I’d like to flour my face And be a clown, Like two we saw, who ran a race, And both fell down. Biit when I’m tired, it seems to me What I enjoy The best of all is just to be My mammy’s boy. WOLFGANG MOZART’S PRAYER Many years ago in Salzburg, Austria, two little children lived in a cottage surrounded by vines, near a pleasant river. They both loved music { and when only six years of age Frederica could play well on the harpsicord. But her little brother produced such strains of melody as were never before heard from so young a child. Their father was a teacher of music, and his own children were his best pupils. There came times so hard that these children had scarcely enough to eat ; but they loved each other, and were happy in the simple enjoyment that fell to their lot. One pleasant day they said ; ‘ Let us take a walk in the woods. How sweetly the birds sing, and the sound of the river as it flows is like music!’ So they went. As they were sitting in a shadow of a tree the boy said : ‘ Sister, what a beautiful place this would be to pra\ 7 .!’ Frederica asked, wonderingly: ‘What shall we pray for ?’ ‘ Why, for papa and mamma,’ said her brother. ‘You see how sad they look. Poor mamma hardly ever smiles now, and I know it must be because she has not always bread enough for us. Let us ask God to help us.’ ‘ Yes,’ said Frederica, ‘ we will.’ So these two children knelt down and prayed, asking the Heavenly Father to bless their parents, and make them a help to them. ‘But how can we help papa and mamma?’ asked Frederica. ‘Why, don’t you know?’ replied Wolfgang. ‘By and by I shall play ’before great people, and they will give me plenty of money, and I will give it to our parents, and we’ll live in a fine house, and be happy.’ At this a loud laugh astonished the boy who did not know that anyone was near them. Turning, he saw a fine gentleman on horseback. The stranger made inquiries, which the little girl answered, telling him; ‘ Wolfgang means to be a great musician ; he thinks he can earn money, so we shall no longer be poor.’ ‘He may do that when he has learned to play well enough,’ replied the stranger. Frederica answered; ‘He is only six years old, but plays beautifully, and can compose nieces.’ * That can not be,’ replied the gentleman. * Come to see us,’ said the boy, ‘ and I will play for you/

' I will go this evening,' answered the stranger. The children" went home, and told their story to their parents, who were much pleased and astonished. Soon a loud knock was heard at the door, and on opening it the little family was surprised to see men bringing in baskets of food in variety and abundance. They had an ample feast that evening. Thus God answered the children's prayer. Soon after, while Wolfgang was playing a sonata which he had composed, the stranger entered, and stood astonished at the wondrous melody. The'father recognised in his guest Emperor Francis I. of Austria. Not long after the family was invited by the Emperor to Vienna, where Wolfgang astonished the royal family by his wonderful powers. v

HELPING Anna May came home from the kindergarten, and showed her mother the things she had made. A darning basket that was full of stockings stood between the two, and upon this basket Anna May spread her treasures. Mother paused in her mending to look at them. I like to do this best,’ Anna May said, as she unfolded a pink and green paper mat woven in basketwork. ‘ That is just like the work I am doing,’ said mother. Anna May’s eyes opened wide. ‘ Why, mother,’ she cried, ‘you’re darning!’ ‘ Yes,’ mother agreed. ‘ But see !’ She held a mended stocking close beside the woven paper mat. Anna May could see that the soft thread that mother tfsed was woven in and out across the worn place in the stocking just as her paper slips were woven ; the tiny black squares showed in mother’s pattern just as the pink and green squares showed in the paper mat. A lovely thought popped into Anna May’s head I .She had three brothers, and there was only mother to darn for them all ! ‘ Mother,’ she begged, ‘ may I learn to darn ! And then we could do weaving together !’ That was, the beginning of what Anna May called her ‘new kindSpT'kindergarten work,’ but what mother declared was the best kind of home-helping.— Youth’s Cotnjpanion.

THE PUZZLED RECRUIT A drill sergeant was drilling the recruit squad in the use of the rifle. All went smoothly until blank cartridges were distributed. The recruits were instructed to load their pieces and stand at ‘ready,’ and then the sergeant gave the command: ‘ Fire at will!’ . Private Lunn was puzzled. He lowered his gun. ‘ Which one is Will?’ he asked.

AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE ‘ Now, in order to subtract,’ the teacher explained, ‘ things have always to be of the same denomination. For instance, we couldn’t take three apples from four pears, nor six horses from nine dogs.’ ‘ Teacher,’ shouted a small boy, ‘ can’t you take four quarts of milk from three cows?’

QUITE RIGHT ‘ Patience and perseverance will accomplish all things,’ was a favorite saying of an old miller. He had just made this remark in a train on© day on the way to market, when a pompous individual in the corner turned to him crossly and said: ‘ Nonsense, sir. I can tell you a great many things which neither patience nor perseverance can accomplish.’ ‘Perhaps you can,’ said the miller, ‘but I have never yet come across one thing.’

' Well, then, I'll tell you one. Will patience and perseverance ever enable you to carry water in a sieve?' .' Certainly.' ' I would like to know how.'

. ..' Simply by waiting patiently for the water to freeze.'

IMPROMPTU PUNS Alexander Pope was one of the first Englishmen to decry the pun.- It was, he said, a species of wit so triflingly easy that he would ‘engage to make one oi\ any subject proposed off-hand. ‘ Well, then, Mr. Pope,’ said a lady of the company, ‘make one on keel-hauling.’ Quick as a flash he replied : ‘ That, madam, is indeed putting a man under a hardship.’ Theodore Hook once bragged that he could make a pun on any subject. Well, then,’ said a friend, ‘ make one on the King.’ ‘ The King is no subject,’ replied the wit. To a similar boast of Douglas Jerrold a member of the Garrick Club replied: ‘ Can you make a pun on the signs of the zodiac?’ ‘By Gemini, I can, sir!’ w r as the double-barrelled retort.

Dr. John Watson,' better known as lan Maclaren, was another wag who boasted of his facility in punning. At a dinner in "London, where many literary men were present, he asserted that he could make as good a pun as anyone in the room. The challenge was accepted. Thereupon Dr. Watson assumed a serious mien and appeared lost in thought. ' Come, now, Watson !' exclaimed Hall Caine. 'We are all waiting. '

‘ Quite so,’ flashed back the other ; ‘but please don’t be in such a hurry, Caine.’ THE REASON A certain football club had received its first reverse of the season. This was the more galling when the defeated ones reflected that their conquerors had absolutely no pretensions to ‘ class,’ being, on paper at least, the weakest team in the district. Returning to headquarters after the match, there was one man wdio seemed to feel the defeat more keenly than anyone else. He w'as the trainer of the team. ‘How did it all happen, Ben?’ asked a supporter ■who had been unable to attend the match.

' Sudden !' growled the trainer. ' Very sudden !' ' Yes ; but how came we to lose V

' This way,' replied Ben. ' For eighty-nine minutes out of the ninety our fellows had been showing the spectators how to play football. Then one of the other chaps pounced on the ball and showed our fellows how to score ! That's all !'

THE MAGISTRATE AND THE PRISONER ‘ This is the fifteenth time,’ said the magistrate, severely, ‘ that'l have seen you in the dock before me.' The prisoner drew himself up. ‘Your worship,’ he replied, with pardonable dignity, ‘ for eight long years I- have constantly had occasion to enter t.his court, and, though I have always found you sitting in that chair, I have never uttered a single solitary word of irritation or complaint.’

NOT TO BE BRIBED A salesman had taken a large order in the north of Scotland for a consignment of hardware, and endeavoured to press upon the Scottish manager who had given the order a box of Havana cigars. * No,’ he replied. ‘ Don’t try to bribe a man. I couldna tak’ them—and I am a member of the kirk.’

' But will you accept them as a present ?' ' I couldna,' said the Scot.

' Well, then,' said the traveller, ' suppose I sell you the cigars for a nominal sum—say sixpence?' ' Weel, in that case,' replied the Scot, ' since you press me, and no' liking to refuse an offer weel meant, I think I'll tak' twa boxes.'

ACCORDING TO RECIPE It seems it was Marion’s day to have the cooking club members at her house. The kitchen was on dress parade, and the programme of experimentation selected. The first recipe called for ‘ 12 eggs, beaten separately.’ I might just as well get those eggs beaten before the girls come,’ concluded the hostess, pinning on a picturesque kitchen apron that added the final note of coquetry to her appearance, and then she valiantly tackled the eggs. The visiting girls relate that some minutes later Marion, flushed, but triumphant, welcomed them to her domain. Twelve soup plates trailed over most of the available table and dresser space. In each plate reposed a single egg ‘beaten separately ’ in relation to the other 11 eggs, but alas ! the white and yoke of each individual egg beaten hopelessly together. ‘ I am nearly dead of that job, girls,’ exclaimed the unconscious hostess, ‘ but at least the eggs are out of the way and w T e can go right on w r ith the rest of the recipe. ’

THEY FORGOT THE JUDGE Two lawyers before an American judge recently got into a wrangle. At last one of the disputants, losing control of his emotions, exclaimed to his opponent; ‘ Sir, you are, I think, the biggest fool that I ever had the misfortune to set eyes upon !’ ‘Order! Order!’ said the judge, gravely. ‘You seem to forget that T am in the room/ A GOOD REASJN Mrs. Staylong was at times very much of a bore. On one occasion she paid a visit to a family of her acquaintance living out in the suburbs of the city. After an exceedingly prolonged stay'she said to one of the children ; ‘ I am going away directly, Tommy, and I want you to go a part of the way with me.’ ‘Can’t do it, ’ replied Tommy, ‘w© are going to have dinner as soon as you leave.’ FAMILY FUN • A Puzzler. A very curious number is 142,857, which, multiplied by 1,2, 3, 4/5, or 6, gives the same figures in the same order, beginning at a different point, but if multiplied by 7 gives all nines. 142.857 multiplied by 1 equals 142,857. 142,857. multiplied by 2 equals 285,714. 142.857 multiplied by 3 equals 428,571. 142.857 multiplied by 4 equals 571,428. 142.857 multiplied by 5 equals 714,285. 142.857 multiplied by 6 equals 857,142. 142.857 multiplied by 7 equals 999,999. Multiply 142,857 by 8 and you have 1,142,856. Then add the first figure to the last and you have 142,857, the original number, with figures exactly the same as the start.