THE CRAFT THERE AND HERE: A BIG DIFFERENCE

New Zealand Tablet, 1 December 1910, Page 1969

THE CRAFT THERE AND HERE: A BIG DIFFERENCE

TO THE EDITOR. Sir, —The Masons are having a glorious time of it in Spain and Portugal just now. Masonry is a big thing over there. The lodges can humble Archbishops, expel Cardinals and Nuncios, dictate to Governments, frighten generals and admirals, and point out to Prime Ministers the way they should go. Why, the G.M.’s can tell kings to be off with themselves need their palaces! That is just what happened to Manuel the other day. The G.M.’s who constitute the provisional Government at Lisbon have gone and taken up their quarters in the Boyal Palace! A big change for street brawlers. The ‘advantages’ and ‘benefits’ to be got by joining the lodges in Spain, Portugal, and France arc not mere empty sound. Those Masons yonder seem to be fully conscious‘of their bigness. Imagine the lodge Balearic offering Senor Canalejas the help of ‘ the enormous and universal influence of this indestructible organisation’! Why, sir the G.M.’s of that lodge must feel like Jupiter wielding his thunderbolts and shaking high Olympus with his nod. In comparison with European Masonry our colonial affair is a poor thing. Just fancy its ‘advantages’— a hope of the patronage of the brethren to your shop if you be a grocer, or to your saloon if you be a barber, or to your bar if you be a publican, or to some easy billet if you don’t care to work. The hope of these things,' crossed by the competition and jealousies of other brethren, is not

so I think, worth the, initiation fees. Then' look at all you have to submit to —all the dodder and tom-foolery — bandages and gropings and flashings of swords—not to speak of the goat—and the grips and scratches from thumbnails and index-fingers. All this is poor and mean when compared with the high, herculean work of knocking off royal crowns and dictating to Governments. Though the ' advantages' of joining the neighboring lodge have been eloquently put before me, I think I'll wait till better dayssomething like what they have in France, Spain, and Portugal— around. I don't care to expose myself to the grippings and ticklings above referred to. I don't care to be thumb-nailed by my ' brother,' a muscular blacksmith, with four noblers in him. Besides, there is another disadvantage, which a Sydney ex-Mason, writing to a local paper, puts rather forciblynamely, the disadvantage of having too many ' brothers,*' with the liability, of course, of some of them turning out seedy. Thus writes our Sydney neighbor:—'l am a Mason—for "Once a Mason always a Mason." An elderly man—hitherto my friend—made me his unrelenting foe a few years ago by badgering me into taking on this insane game. . . The oldster aforementioned— quondam friend—grappled with me one afternoon in a train. He said: "As one who knows and likes you, and who knew, liked, and revered your parents, let me implore you to join mv lodge. It is the most aristocratic lodge in Australia. The benefits that will accrue to you from joining it are incalculable, though at present unnameable. You will for ever bless the day you join my lodge. I am the Worshipful G.M. of it. Join it, I implore, for your dead parents' sake, for your own sake, for my sake, for all our sakes." He went on like this for about an hour, at the end of which time I wilted and said if he put it as strongly as that I would. An appointment was made, and one dreadful night I attended at the lodge to be initiated. I will not disclose the asininity that went on, for I took an oath I wouldn't. When it was over a thick bandage, which had been wrapped round my. eyes and head, was removed, and I discerned, massed together before me in a small and stuffy room: (1) My aged friend, looking unspeakably foolish in a garb that would embarrass a Central African savage, and with a bared sword in his hand (he is a produce merchant and a confirmed bowler in private life); (2) my bootmaker, who ceased sending me "to account rendered " missives, some months ago, and instead took to despatching insulting and threatening demands for immediate liquidation of my account; (3) the father of a young woman with whom I had been friendly the previous year—he had, warned me that if I came near his house again, or spoke to his child or to him or to any member of the family, he would direct his bloodhound to tear me to pieces; (4) about two score of unknowns. The next thing I knew, a horde of total strangers was surrounding me and wringing my hands, and saying, " Welcome, Brother Simjemoine, welcome to the Lodge." Only the bootmaker and the father stood aloof, glowering savagely. Speeches followed; drivelling, doddering speeches about Masonry—which is to say, about nothing. Then came a supper of lager beer and cold beef, and more speeches, more drivel more dodder. ' ' Two days later I was walking in the street. A bleareyed fellow accosted me. " Good-dav, Brother," he said warmly, gripping my hand significantly the while. "I will comedo the point quickly. As a fellow-Mason, I may speak plain. lam m urgent need of a sovereign. May I ask you as a Mason to oblige?" I compromised for 10s, and hurried on. The next day I was intercepted while entering my office by another Mason. He demanded in the name of the craft 30s. I gave him 12s 6d, and fell blasphemouslv upon my daily labors. A week passed, during which I disbursed a further £2 os. to indigent Masons, and then arrived a bill from the lodge for £l2 12s for "dues." I sat cataleptic for some 15 minutes staring at the outrageous thing, and then I took a cab to the home of the old ruffian who had brought this sorrow upon me. The law forbids the publication of the words I said to him. I wound up thus: "And now I wish to know if there is any way short of suicide by which I may get out of your - lodge. If so, I will do it, no matter what it costs." He seemed surprised; in fact, paralysed. "You take it very badly, he said weakly. "Don't you like the lodge?'' 1 Like f '\\J- thundered. "Where's the sense in the confounded thing ? Do you take me for a Benevolent Asylum P Do you imagine that I'm going to disburse quantities of good gold to see a few of you make unmitigated idiots of yourselves m the presence of a herd of chronic tappers P" It seemed to convince him. Anyhow, he said I might resign and so avoid further lodge meetings—though he explained that 1 couldn t cease being a Mason, and that I would have to stump up the £l2 12s for my "dues." I paid the money, sent in my resignation, and received my release When such sense of the ludicrous as I possess becomes total] v atrophied: when I have hours to spare for the practise of unprofitable tomfoolery, and when mv yearly income is thrice what it is at present, I may consider the question of going a-Masoning once more. Tjll then, certainly not ' . I purpose following the suggestions of our Svdnev neighbor; at all events, until something like the Hispano- » ortuguese Masonic glamor reaches this part of the world When that day comes I'll , make a rush for the nearest lodge, in the hope of changing my little shanty for an art meuts in some Bishop's or Governor's palace.—l am, etc. November 28. TONSOR. '