All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 6 October 1910, Page 1642

All Sorts

Sunday School Teacher: « What lesson do we learn front the busy bee?' Tommy Tuff nut: ' Not to get stung.' 'What is your last name?' asked the principal. 'I dont know/ replied the young lady student: 'I haven't got it yet.' First Doctor: 'How many died of that new disease of yours.'' Second Doctor: 'None. But, then, it isn't generally known yet.' Teacher (after science lesson) : ' Now. what does salt water contain besides the sodium chloride I just mentioned?' /Tommy Brown: Fish, please, sir.' ' This palpitating age calls for men who have convictions,' declared the orator in .the park. ' Where I ask shall we find them?' 'ln prison,' called out a man in the' crowd. Eleanor, aged six, had been going to school only a few weeks. She had learned to raise her hand if she wanted anything. One day she put this into effect when she was sent to the chicken house to get eggs. Just as she reached the chicken house door her mother heard her say, ' All you chickens that have laid an egg, raise your hands.' ' Pa, what is a tip ?' 'A tip, my son, is a small sum of money which you give a man because you're afraid he won't like not being paid for something you didn't ask him to do.' _ ' See here, young man/ said the stern parent, why is it that you are always behind in your studies?' ' Because,' explained the youngster, ' if I wasn't behind 1 could not pursue them.' Mr. Blinks (in art museum): 'I didn't know you were such an admirer of curios, Mrs. Blunderby.' . . Mrs. Blunderby: 'Ob, yes, indeed I just'delight in iniquities. Widow (tearfully): 'Yes, my daughters are now my only resources.' Friend: 'Take my advice, and husband your resources well.' ' More than five thousand elephants a year go to make our piano keys,' remarked the student boarder who had been reading the scientific notes in a patent medicine almanac. 'Bless me!' exclaimed the landlady. 'Ain't it wonderful what some animals can be trained to do?' This-j. instance of what the mistake of a comma can produce has been noticed: ' Lord Palmerston then entered upon his head, a white hat upon his feet, large but well polished boots upon his brow, a dark cloud in his hand, his faithful walkmgstick in his eye, a dark menacing glare saying nothing.' When Zeppelin 111. made the flight from Duesseldorf to Essen, it was observed that horses and cattle ran wildly about the meadows as it approached, and sheep crowded with loud bleating around their shepherd. From these facta Count Zeppelin concludes that the employment of airships of whatever type will have a disastrous effect on furred and feathered game. All animals show fear at their approach Partridges, quail, and other game birds cower and hiae themselves, and domestic cocks utter warning crows as if they perceived some gigantic bird of prey. Van Houken, the Swedish aeronaut, when at a moderate height watched elk, foxes, hares, and other animals taketo flight' and dogs rushed howling into the houses. ' There is a remarkable place in the Gulf of Mexico known as the ' oil-spot.' It extends about two miles along the shore, and perhaps three-quarters of a mile seaward In a storm its appearance is very wonderful. All round are angry, boiling waters, tossing the foam high in the air, while within this enclosure- is a perfect calm. In fine weather there is nothing to distinguish the place, but in a gale the waves become thick and of a reddish hue Mud taken from the spot has all the cleansing qualities of soap, and is used to scrub the decks of vessels. Scientists are puzzled to know what makes the oil-spot.' For more than half a century it has been understood that the lateral line of scales along each side of a fish is connected to a special nerve. The use of these lateral organs has been a matter of much speculation, but the late experiments of Hofer seem to show that their chief function is the perception of water currents. They supply a new I r lS( i' i n . i pl i ace of tlie lacking sense of touch; they cause a bund-folded fish to stop and turn aside within an inch of a solid object, lead to streams and spawning brooks, and keep the fish world informed and warned. ' Wallie, aged six, found four little kittens in the cellar A visitor, being told of them, expressed a desire to have a peep at the new baby pussies. Wallie went to fetch them, and soon pitiful mewin* was heard below. " ' Don't hurt the kitties, Wallie,' called out his mamma No, mamma,' shouted, the boy. ' I'm bringing them up carefully; I'm carrying them by their stems.'