All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 11 August 1910, Page 1290

All Sorts

Fat Man: ‘Whatl Are you going to let this small boy shave me ?’ Barber: ‘Let the boy have his fun for once, sir. It’s his birthday.’

‘ When you married me you said you were well off,’ she retorted, after he had refused to buy her a new hat. ' I was then,? he answered coldly. Scientists say the white ant lays 80,000 eggs a month. Would it, we desire to ask, be possible to cross the white ant with the Plymouth Bock hen ? ,

Skinner; ‘ Good-morning, ma’am. Did you ever see anything so unsettled as the weather has been lately?’ Mrs. Ashley: ‘ Well, there’s your bill, Mr. Skinner!’

‘ So you’ve read my new novel,’ said a popular author to an acquaintance, ‘ How do you like it ?’ ‘I laid down the volume with intense pleasure!’ was the reply. _ ‘Look here, Jane, said the mistress, reprovingly, ‘this chair is covered with dust.’

‘ Yessum,’ answered the imperturbable Jane. ‘ I reckon nobody ain’t sat in it lately, mum.’

Long Sufferer (to party come to settle bill): ‘Oh! But I say, you know! Ten per cent, discount’s rather much, isn’t it? You’ve owed it more than a year!’ Bounder: ‘ Look here! Am I paying this account, or are you ?’

Father: ‘ You seem to look at things in a different light since your marriage.’ Newly-married Daughter: ‘Well, so I ought, after receiving fourteen lamps and nine candelabras for wedding resents.’

An eminent lawyer was once cross-examining a clever woman, mother of the plaintiff in a breach of promise action, and was completely worsted in the encounter of wits. At the close, however, he turned to the jury and exclaimed: ' You say, gentlemen, that even I was but a child in her hands. What must my client have been?’ The word ‘ belfry ’ had originally no connection with ‘ bell,’ an idea which is now intimately associated with the term. The first meaning given is ‘ watchtower,’ from the middle English ‘ belfry,’ a watchtower. The first part of this word is connected with ‘ borough,’ the second with free.’ As the practice grew of hanging ‘bells’ in such towers people reminded themselves of the fact by changing the word ‘ berfry ’ into the modern ‘ belfry.’

The origin of gold leaf, like the first use of gold itself, is lost in the mists of antiquity. It is found, for example, in connection with the most ancient known mummies, having been used for covering teeth, tongue, skin, etc. Sometimes it is also found on the coffins. Gold leaf was also used on the tombs and monuments of ancient Egypt. The process of making gold leaf has thus been known since the eighth century, B.C. _ In the eleventh century it seems to have attained as high a degree of perfection as to-day. The gold leaf on some ancient Grecian pottery, indeed, is as thin as that now used.

The other day an enormous flight of swallows, passing from Italy northwards over the Alps, near the famous hospice of St. Bernard, was surprised by a heavy snowstorm. The monks, observing the helpless birds like a black cloud approaching the hospice, opened the doors and windows, whereupon thousands of the birds swarmed in seeking shelter against the snow and storm. The refectory, the corridors, the kitchen, and even the monks’ cells were crowded by the swallows. The birds remained the whole night, and next morning, the weather being fine, they continued their flight. Many hundreds that did not reach’ the hospice were afterwards found dead in the snow.'

'lt is a case of Hobson's choice' is a phrase that is used by many people without knowing exactly what it means, says a writer in the Strand Magazine. As a matter of fact, this adage has been handed down to us from the seventeenth century, and had its origin in the eccentricities of one Tobias Hobson. This worthy was a carrier of Cambridge, who died in the year 1630. In addition to his ordinary business he kept a stable and let out horses to the students at the university. He made it an unalterable rule, however, that each animal should have an equal period of work and rest, and would never let one out of its turn. Consequently, instead of being allowed to select the steed they most fancied, his customers had to take the one that stood next to the door. If it did not meet with their approval they had to do without a ride. Hence, the proverbial expression, 'Hobson's choice,' used to signify a choice without an alternative.