All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 19 May 1910, Page 798

All Sorts

Men of understanding are instructed by reason, tho ignorant by necessity, and beasts by nature. Compliments are like wine—it only takes a small dose to go to the heads of some people, while others can stand a good deal. \ And hat did the doctor pronounce your ailment?' cai 't VVhy— er—well—oh, he pronounced it all right, but I Clerk: 'This letter is too heavy; you must stick another stamp on.' Country Woman: ' But you'll only make it heavier if you do that.' xi, A T K e *® m Perature of the cucumber is one degree below that of the surrounding atmosphere. It is therefore apparent that the expression, ' Cool as a cucumber ' is scientifically correct. n Hospital Doctor: , 'Well, my man, and how did you like the port wine and egg I ordered you? »■■■-■ Patient 'Well, doctor, I should have liked it all right new as the Pr rt ™ M ° W ** 6gg &nd the egg W&S as An open-air orator once received this poser : ' I tell you gentlemen,' he exclaimed—' and the experience of a lifetime confirms my statement—that if you want a thins well done you must do it yourself! ' 'How about getting your hair cut? ' asked a man in the crowd. Disgusted customer., <I bought a currant bun here yesterday and found a fly in it. ' I want you to exchange the bun for another.' Confectioner: 'Can't do that, sir; for it 0U " g me baok the fly Fll give you a cu " an * .. Brown (making a call): 'Your neighbor's daughter seems to- be quite a singer.' Smythe: 'Ah, I wish f had her voice! Browne: 'What would you do? Smythe (fiercely): 'Drown it I' »«.ywiw A new metal has been compounded in Germany, to be known as electron. It is described as an alloy of magnesium which can be cast drawn, pressed, and rolled. It is lighter than the lightest metal hitherto known. In color it is silver-white, and lends itself to a brilliant polish. v,w 'What's the matter with the train?' asked the lecturer, vexed with the speed they were making. 'lf you don't like this train,' the guard retorted, < you can get out and walk.' ' y 'By Jove!' said the lecturer, 'l'd do it, but a reception committee is to meet me at my destination, and I don't want to get m ahead of time.' w «ll ™f« U " y u att ll as a little daughter who hasn't been niW?? tly - The °? Gr d £ y a Prolan was called to the Ullyatt home to see her. He examined the child with the aid of a stethoscope. When her father came home that evening he asked what the doctor had said Nothin',' replied the little girl. | What did he do?' asked Mr. Ullyatt. He just telephoned me all over,' was the child's reply. Curious among vegetable growths and one which' is seldom seen of men + is the rootless Cactus of the California? desert. This plant, a round, compact growth rolls aboi t the level floor of the desert for some eight or nine months 0 the year tossed hither and thither .by the winds which blow with fierceness over all of California's sand plateaux during those months. At the coming of the rains or rather the cloudbursts, which sweep the deserts in its springtime tins cactus takes root wherever it happens to nave been dropped by the last wind of which it was the plaything and immediately begins to put out all around P Ismail shoots, which in turn become cacti, exactly like the parent plant The roots do not penetrate the soil deeply but 1 I nff ad^ ften T ei ; a T cle whose radills is not le P ss than 10ft. These plants get every bit of moisture and plant food to be had in the territory they cover. P Moles, clumsy and almost blind as tliaw a™ v,„ perfect fiends when they quarrel " No one know Tw they quarrel about, but when they start fighting o ne as to die They will keep on in the presence of any number of spectators, hanging on to each other like bull-doS «S burying their enormously strong teeth in one anotheffflesh Hedgehogs, another type of the oilet' innflw,- i 1 esh * animal not only fight? but a thedeath antwff one is killed the other Bometim3evon™ him£ W f ell are proverbially the most timid of creatures vet ?"& between two hares is a ludicrous sight as they skfn gh J jump over each other. But a blow from the hind &™»fl a harems no joke to his opponent. Among-birds■ ?S" are the most pugnacious. Robins become so franfeall "J on killing each other that they allow themselves 81 ? oTeTci^tfc d of a lookei -°" «*o£^3£&gfi«